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The dangers of potty training


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  #21  
March 28th, 2012, 07:11 PM
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My son starting going to the potty by his own choice the week he turned two. I bought him a potty, but I was content that he used it as a step stool for the sink and never really thought he would want to start that early. When he did I just encouraged it with positive reinforcement.

He still pees at night. He sleeps about 12-13 hours and he has about 2 dry days a week if he goes to bed at the right time. My brother was the same way and I figure I won't rush that part of potty training either. 1 pull up a day seems like nothing when I haven't changed a diaper in so long.

FTR, he has NEVER had a poop accident in his pants. He has been able to control that a little too well at times.
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  #22  
March 28th, 2012, 07:48 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Kris~ View Post
So what if you have a child that walks early, say 9 months old? You think he'll be ready to potty train at that point?

I think this is one of those examples where parents say they will or won't do XYZ, but until they are in the situation they really don't know how it will be. There are many kids, boys especially who do not potty train until 3 years old.
Yup. My son walked at 8.5 months and my daughter walked at 9 months. Neither one of them could have possibly been ready at that point - and my son still isn't. Its really easy to say "I will never do X" or "my kid will do this by this point" when you haven't lived it. I had every plan in the world to let my kids CIO because I had heard so many parents say you spoil your kids if you go get them when they are crying. Guess what? Neither one of my kids have CIO. If there is anything I've learned as a parent over the past 3 years it is that I can't put my expectations of milestones on my kids - they are gonna do what they want at the age they want and there isn't a darn thing I can do about it.
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  #23  
March 28th, 2012, 07:56 PM
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Did I say he'd be potty trained when he walked? No. I said I'd introduce the potty. There is NOTHING wrong with that.

I know PLENTY of kids potty trained around 18-ish months and they are just fine. My baby cousin is 16 months and potty trained, except at night. He is fine. This article is ridiculous.

And I'm sorry but yes, its disgusting to have a 4-5yr old in diapers all day. Overnight I can understand but...
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  #24  
March 28th, 2012, 08:02 PM
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In the EC community it is believed that babies are born knowing they need to eliminate and that they don't need to be trained/taught. In my readings and experiences with my own kids I understand this. Both of my boys from newborn on up would show signs of needing to go, the signs changed with age of course. I have a friend who is currently ECing her 3rd child (did it with her previous 2) and says that her baby won't do a full poop in a diaper because she doesn't like the feel and wants to use a toilet, so she may do a little poo and then cry and then mom will put her over the toilet and she'll finish there, she's 6 months.

I do think that some kids will hold their poo or pee dangerously no matter if they EC and were using underpants and a potty early on, or if they were trained and didn't start until later. We've not had UTIs here or any other problems, and among my non-EC friends there hasn't been any problems either, and they typicall are out of diapers around 3 or 4 years old.
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  #25  
March 28th, 2012, 08:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angelsailor288 View Post
Did I say he'd be potty trained when he walked? No. I said I'd introduce the potty. There is NOTHING wrong with that.

I know PLENTY of kids potty trained around 18-ish months and they are just fine. My baby cousin is 16 months and potty trained, except at night. He is fine. This article is ridiculous.

And I'm sorry but yes, its disgusting to have a 4-5yr old in diapers all day. Overnight I can understand but...
You said you had no intention of diapering him until he was 3 and boys are notorious for PTing later than girls. The way you are coming across, it sounds like you are going to PT on your schedule - not his. Could cause a lot more issues than you can imagine, but hes your kid and they'd be your problem so I suppose you can really do whatever you want.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHippy View Post
In the EC community it is believed that babies are born knowing they need to eliminate and that they don't need to be trained/taught. In my readings and experiences with my own kids I understand this. Both of my boys from newborn on up would show signs of needing to go, the signs changed with age of course. I have a friend who is currently ECing her 3rd child (did it with her previous 2) and says that her baby won't do a full poop in a diaper because she doesn't like the feel and wants to use a toilet, so she may do a little poo and then cry and then mom will put her over the toilet and she'll finish there, she's 6 months.

I do think that some kids will hold their poo or pee dangerously no matter if they EC and were using underpants and a potty early on, or if they were trained and didn't start until later. We've not had UTIs here or any other problems, and among my non-EC friends there hasn't been any problems either, and they typicall are out of diapers around 3 or 4 years old.
I loved the idea of EC but my husband would have none of it. I do sort of regret not doing it now but I know it takes a lot of time for the first few months and I was trying to keep having a new baby as easy for my husband as possible.
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  #26  
March 28th, 2012, 08:21 PM
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It does take time, and that is why I hesitated with ds1 and didn't start until he was 6 or 9 months, I forget. DH supported me, but I'm sure he thought I was crazy The second time around he thought it just sounded normal, but that was probably because my crazy ideas had worn off on him by that point. It is a commitment, but I did use cloth diapers in case of accidents, at night, and when we were out. I do have some EC friends who will not put any diapers on their babies at all, they are either in EC friendly clothes or hand made tiny underpants (day and night and when they were out). To me, especially with more than 1 child, that was a bit too much work. I really enjoyed being balanced the way I was with ds2, and plan to do that with next bub (EC but still use CDs).
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  #27  
March 28th, 2012, 08:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angelsailor288 View Post
And I'm sorry but yes, its disgusting to have a 4-5yr old in diapers all day. Overnight I can understand but...
Well it's a good thing you know how all kids' bodies develop and know that they should be able to be PTed by age 4. Guess my kid was only 3-4 months away from being disgusting! We encouraged it as much as possible without making it traumatic for him and poof one day he just got it and is dry at night 90% of the time too. He sleeps about 12 hours at night. My older son did the same and he wasn't consistently dry overnight until 4.5 years old, despite PTing during the day right at 3 years old.

Guess those adults getting up in their years are disgusting too, right?
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  #28  
March 28th, 2012, 08:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHippy View Post
It does take time, and that is why I hesitated with ds1 and didn't start until he was 6 or 9 months, I forget. DH supported me, but I'm sure he thought I was crazy The second time around he thought it just sounded normal, but that was probably because my crazy ideas had worn off on him by that point. It is a commitment, but I did use cloth diapers in case of accidents, at night, and when we were out. I do have some EC friends who will not put any diapers on their babies at all, they are either in EC friendly clothes or hand made tiny underpants (day and night and when they were out). To me, especially with more than 1 child, that was a bit too much work. I really enjoyed being balanced the way I was with ds2, and plan to do that with next bub (EC but still use CDs).
I had to really really ease my husband into the crunchier lifestyle so I had to pick and choose my battles lol I won most of the battles but we didn't CD as long as I would have liked.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Kris~ View Post
Well it's a good thing you know how all kids' bodies develop and know that they should be able to be PTed by age 4. Guess my kid was only 3-4 months away from being disgusting! We encouraged it as much as possible without making it traumatic for him and poof one day he just got it and is dry at night 90% of the time too. He sleeps about 12 hours at night. My older son did the same and he wasn't consistently dry overnight until 4.5 years old, despite PTing during the day right at 3 years old.

Guess those adults getting up in their years are disgusting too, right?
I tried to let that comment roll off my back but it is a pretty nasty thing to say. Working in the special needs community, I had students from 3 - 26 in diapers and it wasn't disgusting, it was just how their lives were. Hate statements like that.
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  #29  
March 28th, 2012, 08:42 PM
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*shrug* Sorry but babysitting a 4, almost 5 year old, that would run around yelling "time to wipe my booty" was gross. His mother kept telling me "yeah I'll get around to it". If a kid has a disability or something, thats totally different.

I'm not going to beat my kid into potty training but I'm not going to let ONE article tell me to wait til 3.

And I don't buy into the boys are harder than girls thing. No boy in my family or Nicks family has had issues potty training.

If you kid cries because he doesnt want to go to school, are you going to force him? Or let him go on his own schedule?
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Last edited by angelsailor288; March 28th, 2012 at 08:48 PM.
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  #30  
March 28th, 2012, 08:48 PM
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I always wondered why girls were easier? Is it because of the whole aim thing? Anyone with a boy and girl both PT'd that could answer?

I only have boys so I have no idea how easy/hard a girl is. Both boys were different though. ds1 would sit on the potty and only started standing this year (after peeing outside a few times). ds2 started standing around 12 months (he would stand over the potty instead of in front of it).
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  #31  
March 28th, 2012, 09:24 PM
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Eh, I found the commentary to the article more interesting than the article itself. Mostly, because I think the article focuses on all the wrong stuff, and isn't nearly as helpful as it could be.
But that's just my personal view on it, there are good intentions there, for sure. Just not as informative as I was hoping it would be.

Since we're sharing though...

Dd1 got a potty for her first birthday. I know, lots of kids do, hers was actually only bought for her because someone(not me) thought it was adorable, since at the time no other potty had a cute lil handle that made flushing noises. Sigh, the things we get amused by.
She was fascinated. By 14 months she was entirely out of diapers in the day, and only wore them at night. By 16 months, out of diapers at night too.
That was an interesting adventure, partly because she was so tiny that I couldn't find panties to fit her and we had to modify them all, and partly because it was entirely her lead and I had almost no part in it.

I knew that wasn't typical though. Dd2 was a whole different ballgame, but for a completely different reason. She wanted to use the potty too, mostly because big sissy did. Despite being very sick most of her life, she too lead her own potty learning. By 16 months she was ready for panties-during the day only because overnight feeds via pump would make it impossible for night time potty breaks. She got really sick a couple weeks later and admitted for a couple months. So that put her back in diapers. Actually her entire body reverted back to what was essentially a newborn stage.
She didn't fully get out of diapers during the day until almost 3, and at night she was closer to 3.5. She probably would have been out of them at night sooner, but overnight feeds made that part really hard.

Ds was ready to start peeing outside of his diaper the moment he shot himself out of the birth canal, lol. It was me who held him back, more than he did. I wasn't ready for him to train early at all. He didn't get a potty for his birthday, and I didn't put a whole heck of a lot of thought into it anyway. It was just a "when he wants to, he will, til then, I'll do nothing". He was out of diapers at about 2.5-ish, I think. I honestly don't remember. I do know he was out of them during the day and then a month later, out of them at night.

The only kiddo who has ever had any issues with either wetting the bed, or accidents (aside from the occasional accident many kids have that is), was dd2. But I attribute most of that to the fact that she was constantly sick, and also being pumped full of liquids a lot more than most kids would ever be. Like having a constant IV running is going to make you pee more than you'd likely do otherwise. She stopped wetting the bed entirely when she went to supplemental rather than primary feeds at night. But even her bed wetting wasn't too bad, it wasn't even nightly.

I think that forcing kids to train before they are really ready is way more detrimental than anything else. Lots of parents do it though. I feel quite strongly that it's something parents need to let the kids take the lead on. Not all kids are ready at the same time. It's really not smart to expect them to fit some magic mold. It's almost always the parents who say "my kid WILL be off..(insert whatever, diapers, bottles, paci, etc..)" at a certain age who later have to eat their own words, lol. Children have a great way of showing us we have very little control over these things.

I believe there isn't a special age, either too young, or too old, to start potty learning(or finish, for that matter). When they're ready, they're ready. I don't think it's something you should try to make happen. No matter what your personal feelings on the matter are.
But I do have to say that changing your own 3, 4, whatever, year old isn't always the same as changing someone else's kid. It's just different. Much like many other things are.
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  #32  
March 29th, 2012, 09:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHippy View Post
I always wondered why girls were easier? Is it because of the whole aim thing? Anyone with a boy and girl both PT'd that could answer?

I only have boys so I have no idea how easy/hard a girl is. Both boys were different though. ds1 would sit on the potty and only started standing this year (after peeing outside a few times). ds2 started standing around 12 months (he would stand over the potty instead of in front of it).
For me, DD was easier than DS. The aim thing did put it's spin on it, but for some reason, she was just more willing to learn than he was. In my experience, boys tend to be a bit more lazy and stubborn than girls.
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  #33  
March 29th, 2012, 09:39 AM
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I am not sure about the whole girl vs boy easy vs hard thing, personally. I am honestly not sure there is any truth to it. The two can be completely different, but I wouldn't necessarily say difficult.
I've gone through potty learning with more than just my kids, and as long as the kiddo is ready, it's a relatively smooth process. It's when they aren't ready and you begin, or proceed anyway that you usually run into problems.
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  #34  
March 29th, 2012, 11:30 AM
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My son started by sitting so there wasn't an issue about aiming. He wasn't even tall enough to pee in the regular potty and I felt like sitting was the easiest option since he would need to sit to poop.

He was eager to learn. I really hope my girl is as eager as he was and it will be easy for me. I really did nothing other than help him on and off the potty and give him an M&M when pee and 2 when he pooped. So easy.
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  #35  
March 29th, 2012, 12:14 PM
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There is never any clear cut this is how it is across the board for boys/girls. Some fit the theory, others don't. That's why I put "In my experience" and "for me." We're all going to experience something different. I've seen boys train faster than girls and vice versa. It's really up to the kid.
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  #36  
March 31st, 2012, 11:37 AM
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Kids are ready when they are ready. Potty training isn't sticking the kid on a toilet after a feeding at 9 months old and hoping they go pee or poop, or trying to force them to go because YOU are ready for them to go. I find most of these articles just laughable. I wonder, sometimes, if the people who write them actually have kids?

It's not the age they go, it's whether or not they're ready to go. If you push too hard, it isn't going to matter whether they're 1 or 3. They can have all the same problems listed. It's just about laying low and waiting for them to give you cues that they're ready.
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  #37  
April 1st, 2012, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GSLynn View Post
Kids are ready when they are ready. Potty training isn't sticking the kid on a toilet after a feeding at 9 months old and hoping they go pee or poop, or trying to force them to go because YOU are ready for them to go. I find most of these articles just laughable. I wonder, sometimes, if the people who write them actually have kids?

It's not the age they go, it's whether or not they're ready to go. If you push too hard, it isn't going to matter whether they're 1 or 3. They can have all the same problems listed. It's just about laying low and waiting for them to give you cues that they're ready.
The highlighted is exacly what I did with my older one, although I started at 6 months not 9. A year later she was in undies. I dont get mainstream potty training, I really dont. I dont understand making your child soil a diaper until they are into toddler age or older where they have their own opinions and are able to fight you on toileting. I never had to fight, bribe, use a sticker chart, books, videos nor a musical potty. From the time she could remember sitting on the potty was normal. I didnt have to push her, the potty was there, she could go or not go.
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  #38  
April 1st, 2012, 03:16 PM
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I introduced the potty at 1.5 years old. My kids were potty trained by 2 during the daytime, and at nightime by 3.

We have never had problems with UTIs, excessive constipation or bedwetting. I cant say this would be the case for all children, but for mine, early potty training worked.

Meanwhile, from my point of view, potty training the boys were harder because willys are fun, you can use them like a hose and put your pee wherever you want.
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  #39  
April 1st, 2012, 05:14 PM
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My kid was potty trained when he was born.
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  #40  
April 1st, 2012, 06:20 PM
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No but seriously, my kid still has issues with peeing and pooping. I can't even pretend he's a pro or boast potty greatness like some of you. He could kick your ***** in Mario Kart, though.
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