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The dangers of potty training


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  #1  
March 26th, 2012, 04:18 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The dangers of potty training too early

What do you think about that article?
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  #2  
March 26th, 2012, 04:27 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Very interesting read. I think he makes a lot of really good points and points out some things that I would have never thought of, like them holding their bladder for extended periods so they can continue playing and the health problems related. My son just turned 3 and while a majority of his birth board mates are already potty trained, he seems no where near ready. We talk about it, we bring it up when we go in the bathroom and he is completely resistant so we aren't going to push it. While I'd love for him to be out of the diapers, its not something I'm going to stress about and this article definitely makes me feel better about not going crazy over an un PTd 3 year old.
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  #3  
March 26th, 2012, 04:29 PM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm not exxaggerating or kidding when I say that is the most interesting article I've read in a long time.
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  #4  
March 26th, 2012, 05:58 PM
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I think the article makes a lot of very good points that I'd never have considered.

I will definitely be keeping this around for future reference.
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  #5  
March 26th, 2012, 07:19 PM
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We're just getting ready to pt our daughter. We just decided to wait til she shows she's ready. I think that it is a good article and think parents should read this before doing their potty training routine. A couple girls I know have done the 9month on the potty training insisting it works. I just don't see it??
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  #6  
March 26th, 2012, 07:35 PM
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We never did potty training. I just let them figure it out on their own. For ds1 is was about 2 years of age when he stopped using a diaper in the day and was using the potty, and he stopped using a diaper at night a little before 3 years. With ds2 he's 23 months and doesn't wear a diaper during the day and will use the potty. Neither of my kids hold it and they'll go when they need to. ds1 will announce when he has to go, but ds2 will just go and sit on it when he needs to. I think it's important to not push it and let them take their time.

I think the article has good points. I also think all kids will learn to potty in the pot at different ages. I have friends who had kids that didn't care for the potty until 3, 4 and even 5 years of age. No biggie, most kids who don't have a development problem will use the potty eventually (and even plenty of kids with development problems use the potty eventually as well).
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  #7  
March 26th, 2012, 07:40 PM
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I knew there were good reasons for my son just PTing at 3.75 years old!
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  #8  
March 26th, 2012, 07:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
Very interesting read. I think he makes a lot of really good points and points out some things that I would have never thought of, like them holding their bladder for extended periods so they can continue playing and the health problems related. My son just turned 3 and while a majority of his birth board mates are already potty trained, he seems no where near ready. We talk about it, we bring it up when we go in the bathroom and he is completely resistant so we aren't going to push it. While I'd love for him to be out of the diapers, its not something I'm going to stress about and this article definitely makes me feel better about not going crazy over an un PTd 3 year old.
This reminds me of someone I know who was pushing her almost 3 year old to use the potty. She'd threaten him about it saying things like "if you don't poop in the potty today then you're not going to Grandmas/a birthday party/etc". I felt bad for the boy because he was doing pretty good peeing in the potty (not telling when he had to go, just the mom taking him every so often and making him go on it and he'd go) and then once she started basically punishing him for not pooping in the potty he started to regress. He'd have "accidents" a lot with peeing, and he'd start to pee his pants if his mom got mad at him. And I put accidents like that, because I really don't think that it's an accident at that age. I think I remember reading awhile ago that the natural age of potty learning is between 3 years and 7 years.
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  #9  
March 26th, 2012, 08:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHippy View Post
This reminds me of someone I know who was pushing her almost 3 year old to use the potty. She'd threaten him about it saying things like "if you don't poop in the potty today then you're not going to Grandmas/a birthday party/etc". I felt bad for the boy because he was doing pretty good peeing in the potty (not telling when he had to go, just the mom taking him every so often and making him go on it and he'd go) and then once she started basically punishing him for not pooping in the potty he started to regress. He'd have "accidents" a lot with peeing, and he'd start to pee his pants if his mom got mad at him. And I put accidents like that, because I really don't think that it's an accident at that age. I think I remember reading awhile ago that the natural age of potty learning is between 3 years and 7 years.
See, I just couldn't do that. My parenting style doesn't have any room in it for threats and I don't do anything like that. We have tried stickers or candy as rewards and while he loves getting them, he doesn't like going on the potty. We are a very much live and let live kind of family, go with the flow and for everything else, I've let him communicate when he is ready for it (in his own way). I'd rather just wait until he is ready so its not a long process or a traumatic process. I've heard of so many kids that just one day they go on the potty and never look back, I'm hoping in the next few months we get there but pushing him into it isn't going to do anything but cause a negative vibe in the house and I've worked too hard to get all the negative energy out of my life to have it come back in over potty training!
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  #10  
March 26th, 2012, 09:32 PM
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Thought provoking and interesting article. I'm not sure that I totally buy into his theory. And that's what I am calling it, a theory as there does not seem to be a lot of study based evidence to support this view. In fact, he refers to this study: A prospective study of age at initiation... [J Dev Behav Pediatr. 2009] - PubMed - NCBI of 8000 children, which suggests the opposite.
Quote:
"CONCLUSION: There is evidence that initiating toilet training after 24 months is associated with problems attaining and maintaining bladder control. It is possible that delaying the onset of toilet training until after 2 years prolongs the exposure time to potential stressors that could interfere with the acquisition of bladder control, resulting in delays in achieving continence and susceptibility to relapses in daytime wetting."
He blames the discrepancy of what he sees in his practice and this study's results on the problem of constipation, thinking that those that trained late were training late because they were already failing due to constipation. That may well be the case; and he does quote studies showing the correlation between constipation and bladder problems. However, I don't think he's effectively proven the correlation between early training and chronic urinary complaints. And he seems to be dismissing Elimination Communication without a clear understanding of the process.

I think the great take away messages from this article is to increase the fiber in your child's diet, be persistent in making sure your children are not holding in the urine and BMs, and don't push children who are not showing signs of readiness.
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  #11  
March 27th, 2012, 08:22 AM
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I think it's really interesting and definitely something I'll keep in mind. My son's doctor was talking to me at his last apt (last week, 18 month check up) and said not to push PTing before 3. He said if he just did it himself, then that's fine, and a lot of kids are ready around 2.5, but there is no use in really pushing it until 3. I think his advice, like the author's came from experience in the field and not actual studies, though.
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  #12  
March 27th, 2012, 09:18 AM
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Wow....talk about an article that really makes me feel like a $hitty mom. My DD was trained at 22 months, by her choice, but I didn't stop her. She has a 4 yr old brother and sister and just kind of followed in their footsteps.....I never imagined that it would be causing her irreparable damage. Can I go back now and put her in CDs? Lol.
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  #13  
March 27th, 2012, 12:36 PM
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Validates why I chose a preschool that does not require children to be potty trained. I plan on attempting potty training this summer, but will not push it if Billy is not ready.

*Billy will be starting preschool in September - 2 days a week, 3 hours per day*

Quote:
Originally Posted by peace.love.audrey View Post
Wow....talk about an article that really makes me feel like a $hitty mom. My DD was trained at 22 months, by her choice, but I didn't stop her. She has a 4 yr old brother and sister and just kind of followed in their footsteps.....I never imagined that it would be causing her irreparable damage. Can I go back now and put her in CDs? Lol.

Why do you feel like a bad mom? You said your daughter trained by choice, meaning she knows when it is time to use the potty. I assume that means she likes the potty and does not hold it in order to keep playing.
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  #14  
March 27th, 2012, 01:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Jennifer* View Post
Why do you feel like a bad mom? You said your daughter trained by choice, meaning she knows when it is time to use the potty. I assume that means she likes the potty and does not hold it in order to keep playing.
I guess that's true....she does like the potty and doesn't ever seem to be holing it and I offer to take her pretty frequently if we are out. The only thing that really made me worry is when she is at day care playing with her friends. Are the teachers offering to take her while she's playing? Or is she holding it for hours and only going when she can't hold it any more? They say that she does really well and tells them several times a day that she has to go. Hmm...well, there's nothing I can really do about it now, I'll just have to hope for the best.
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  #15  
March 27th, 2012, 01:40 PM
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A good day care will set up a schedule for the kids on top of allowing them to go when needed. If the place it truly well built, each section or room will have their own child friendly restroom. I loved that Kevin's smaller rooms had them. It's once he got to UPK that the rooms shared one restroom. But by then the kids are usually 4-5 and have been trained for a while now. Even his elementary school kindergarten class rooms had their own bathrooms. His only issue is that he hated going sitting on a toilet that was too big for him, so he would have accidents. That's the one mistake the school made, the toilets were low for kids to use, but made standard size.
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  #16  
March 27th, 2012, 06:16 PM
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Aw don't feel like a bad mom. She decided it was time for *her* and you didn't push her. All kids are different.
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  #17  
March 28th, 2012, 06:36 AM
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Sydney was the only one out of the 6 that was forced into training pretty much. If she had been home with me I wouldn't have cared, but she was at daycare and once they switch to the 2 year old room they start making them go on the potty. Only thing different about her is she still wets at night at almost 8. The two kids that I was home to potty train (so far) were both trained between 3 and 4.
My two oldest went to a different daycare when they were between the infant - 3ish age, and there was a very dedicated lady that helped train them, she made it look easy! I don't think she made them train, she just gave them the option, and a routine. No problem with either of them, and they night trained easy too.
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  #18  
March 28th, 2012, 06:51 AM
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I found this very interesting. I honestly wanted to potty train my child early on, because I had heard so many good things about it, but this article makes a lot of sense. I was potty trained early, and never thought to connect it to the fact that I did indeed hold it from the time I got to school to the time I got home nearly every day in elementary school and occasionally wet the bed or worse had accidents at school. I never saw a connection there but I think there might be one. This article made me think, and I will take that into account when I have a baby.
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  #19  
March 28th, 2012, 03:59 PM
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Uhhh... no. I will start introducing the potty as soon as he can walk. I wont push it but I have no intentions of using diapers for 3 years.

I used to babysit a boy that was 4.5 and not potty trained (though more than ready, mom was just lazy), and it was disgusting. Scarred me for life.
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  #20  
March 28th, 2012, 05:59 PM
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So what if you have a child that walks early, say 9 months old? You think he'll be ready to potty train at that point?

I think this is one of those examples where parents say they will or won't do XYZ, but until they are in the situation they really don't know how it will be. There are many kids, boys especially who do not potty train until 3 years old.
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