Log In Sign Up

Dangers of Crying it Out


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree7Likes
  • 4 Post By BittyBugsMama
  • 3 Post By fluffycheeks

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 16th, 2012, 05:59 AM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,207
What do you think of this article, published a couple of months ago by Psychology Today? It claims that letting a baby cry is actually very harmful to their brain development, as well as detrimental to their independence and relationships later in life.

Excerpts:


Quote:
With neuroscience, we can confirm what our ancestors took for granted---that letting babies get distressed is a practice that can damage children and their relational capacities in many ways for the long term. We know now that leaving babies to cry is a good way to make a less intelligent, less healthy but more anxious, uncooperative and alienated person who can pass the same or worse traits on to the next generation.


Quote:
One strangely popular notion still around today is to let babies 'cry it out' when they are left alone, isolated in cribs or other devices. This comes from a misunderstanding of child and brain development.

Babies grow from being held. Their bodies get dysregulated when they are physically separated from caregivers. (See here for more.)

Babies indicate a need through gesture and eventually, if necessary, through crying. Just as adults reach for liquid when thirsty, children search for what they need in the moment. Just as adults become calm once the need is met, so do babies.

There are many longterm effects of undercare or need-neglect in babies (e.g., Bremmer et al, 1998; Blunt Bugental et al., 2003; Dawson et al., 2000; Heim et al 2003).

Secure attachment is related to responsive parenting, such as when babies wake up and cry at night.


Full Article:
Dangers of
Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 16th, 2012, 07:59 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pavia, Italy
Posts: 5,959
I agree with it, it makes sense, and I have family members in the feild who say the same thing.

I don't know about less intelligent, but a more anxious person and what not, yeah, makes sense. And I know the counter argument is "Well some babies cry for hours in your arms, surely they release cortisol too". Yes, they do, but there is a difference in other responses in the body when a baby is crying and being comforted and crying all alone.
__________________
Mama to G, L & twins F & M
Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 16th, 2012, 08:13 AM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,317
I don't agree with CIO and this article helps me reaffirm that belief. I don't believe you can spoil a baby by holding them and I think putting such a young person through the stress of crying until they fall asleep isn't right. Babies cry because they have no other way to communicate with us, not because they are trying to make us angry or bother us.
__________________
~Alicia~
Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 16th, 2012, 12:58 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,641
I think that CIO as an infant is useless, but have used it on older children. I'd say around age 18 mo-2 yrs.

I've seen horrible videos of what it looks like when children have NO contact at all, you can't tell me they grow up normal. I'm referring to the videos of the unwanted and special needs Chinese children that are essentially 'thrown away' in orphanages.
__________________







Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 16th, 2012, 03:11 PM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,207
Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
I don't agree with CIO and this article helps me reaffirm that belief. I don't believe you can spoil a baby by holding them and I think putting such a young person through the stress of crying until they fall asleep isn't right. Babies cry because they have no other way to communicate with us, not because they are trying to make us angry or bother us.
This is how I feel as well. As a mom, it goes against every instinct I have to sit there and let my child cry in the next room. I think those instincts were given to mothers as a reason, and I don't think we should ignore them.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 17th, 2012, 06:28 AM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,621
Send a message via Yahoo to *SamF*
This isn't 'new' but always good to point out. So many women here the old advice their mothers received that you will spoil a baby if you hold them too much.
I know it wasn't that long ago but when DS was born the hospital had all these videos we had to watch and one was about the dangers of CIO.

Even now unless he's just being ridiculous (a silly tantrum where it's more for show than him being truly upset) I have a really hard time just letting him sit there and cry.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 17th, 2012, 08:54 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pavia, Italy
Posts: 5,959
^ I wish they'd show that video at the hospital I had ds1 in. They are still of the mindset that it's ok to let a baby CIO because a baby at 6 months MUST STTN.
__________________
Mama to G, L & twins F & M
Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
Reply With Quote
  #8  
April 17th, 2012, 11:53 AM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,207
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHippy View Post
^ I wish they'd show that video at the hospital I had ds1 in. They are still of the mindset that it's ok to let a baby CIO because a baby at 6 months MUST STTN.
Ditto. I have a 2 year old who still doesn't STTN. You should hear the comments I get about her!

So NO ONE here is going to defend CIO? Come on, I know there are several here who use it as a parenting method.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
April 17th, 2012, 12:22 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,392
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
I have moved more to the no cio side of the fence since joining JM. I do not feel it is healthy to just let a child sit and scream at a young age hoping they'll learn to soothe themselves and sleep through the night.

but seeing as I've never been with infants for more than 6-8hrs at a time... I really cannot say exactly what I will do. I'm sure my kids will probably cry at some point for a very short period while I'm occupied with something like cooking... but I can't see me just putting them in their bed and walking away because I want them to sleep. I'm sure I'd cry just as much as they would after about 3 minutes.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
April 17th, 2012, 12:35 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North
Posts: 7,824
When you think about it, how stressed do you get if your baby cries and it takes a while to get them quieted? If its stressful for mom/dad/caregiver, then how stressed is baby? Being overly stressed is related to lower IQ scores meaning that if you go in for IQ testing on a really bad day, your scores would probably be lower than on a day when you feel on top of the world. So if baby is cio over a long period of time, I can see how that might lead to a lower overall IQ.
__________________
Tammy, Mom to
Abby (19), Kacie (13), Chase (11), & Jacob (7)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" ~ Bobby ~ Supernatural
Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 17th, 2012, 01:09 PM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: In my house :p
Posts: 1,287
I've had moments in my life as a parent that CIO might have sounded like a fantastic idea. I don't think that's an unhealthy thought to have. I think many, if not most, parents have a "ARRRRRRRRG" moment here and there when having a child scream in their ear while trying to console them, doesn't sound all too fun. I don't think that's unhealthy either.

I do think it's unhealthy to actually act on those thoughts, every single time, though. There is a difference between walking away for a moment, or a few, to collect yourself so that you can better help your child(and yourself) and simply ignoring the cries of your child because you think they can deal with it on their own. The latter being completely and utterly unhealthy-for the both of you. The former not fitting what I consider CIO to actually be.

I've never been a fan of CIO in the way that many use it. I find it harmful, not helpful.
I've never needed research from others to tell me that consoling my kid when s/he's crying is the best thing for me to do(for both of us), but I have to admit I'm glad others put it out there. There are plenty of people who DO need to see it, read it, hear it, to understand it. I just wish it was more widely used.
In hospitals that offer to take the baby to the nursery for the evening, they don't CIO, they don't let the babies scream(barring the immediate need to because a nurse only has so many hands and no one else is available, of course, but that's a temporary thing). So why hospitals do not promote this kind of research and other studies/literature already out there, is beyond me. They know the value of attending to the needs of a crying child, they SHOULD be helping new parents understand it as well.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #12  
April 17th, 2012, 01:55 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5,500
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffycheeks View Post
Ditto. I have a 2 year old who still doesn't STTN. You should hear the comments I get about her!

So NO ONE here is going to defend CIO? Come on, I know there are several here who use it as a parenting method.

Yep. I hear you. I still bring my son to the bed if he wakes up crying at night.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:03 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0