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Underage drinking at weddings


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  • 1 Post By BittyBugsMama
  • 1 Post By Tammyjh

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  #1  
April 24th, 2012, 12:35 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This debate was sparked by an earlier conversation I had. Thought I would see what others think.

Do you think a bartender should be held legally responsible for an underage drinker even if the bartender did not serve the minor?
Should the responsibility fall on the people hosting the wedding?
Should all the responsibility fall on the underage drinker?
Should the responsibility fall on the person who gave the minor the alcohol?
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  #2  
April 24th, 2012, 12:47 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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Do you think a bartender should be held legally responsible for an underage drinker even if the bartender did not serve the minor? No, it should be like anywhere else, it is the responsibility of the establishment (or host) and whomever served the drink to the minor (bartender, server, uncle, cousin, etc.). Working at a bar, if a minor was caught drinking, the bar was fined, and the server who served him (or the bartender). If he was in after 9 pm (local ordinance), the bouncers could also be held responsible. It should be the same at a wedding.
Should the responsibility fall on the people hosting the wedding? It would have to depend on the situation and where the event is being hosted. If it was in their backyard, probably.
Should all the responsibility fall on the underage drinker? Interesting thought. Probably, although in most states serving alcohol to a minor is an entirely separate offense to a minor being in possesion of alcohol/drinking alcohol.
Should the responsibility fall on the person who gave the minor the alcohol? Yes
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  #3  
April 24th, 2012, 01:43 PM
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Do you think a bartender should be held legally responsible for an underage drinker even if the bartender did not serve the minor? Only if the bartender served the minor, if not then the place, or responsible party should be held responsible to some degree.
Should the responsibility fall on the people hosting the wedding? As in the bride/groom and/or family footing the bill? Only if they gave the minor the drinks directly. If it's the establishment, then my answers goes with the above answer.
Should all the responsibility fall on the underage drinker? Not all, but a big chunk of it should.
Should the responsibility fall on the person who gave the minor the alcohol? Yes, for sure it should. The minor wouldn't have drank if they had not given them alcohol.
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  #4  
April 24th, 2012, 04:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
This debate was sparked by an earlier conversation I had. Thought I would see what others think.

Do you think a bartender should be held legally responsible for an underage drinker even if the bartender did not serve the minor?
Should the responsibility fall on the people hosting the wedding?
Should all the responsibility fall on the underage drinker?
Should the responsibility fall on the person who gave the minor the alcohol?
Do you think a bartender should be held legally responsible for an underage drinker even if the bartender did not serve the minor? No. The bartender, if he followed rules, gave the liquor to an adult over 21. If that person gave a minor child alcohol or someone under the legal drinking age for the state they are in? THAT PERSON who did it should be responsible.

Should the responsibility fall on the people hosting the wedding?
Depends. If a parent himself gave his own child the liquor?
His poor judgement and thus his responsibility. If a someone from the wedding gave someone else's child a drink and let's say that said person could not be identified (maybe the child doesn't know the person who gave it to them, for example) then yes, the person who is planning the wedding and/or is responsible for organizing the wedding can be held responsible.


Should all the responsibility fall on the underage drinker?
ALL? No of course not, but definitely SOME. I believe in responsibility. Underage doesn't equate to "doesn't know any better". Many kids DO know better and make poor choices anyway. So do adults. So both child and adult who served them? Should be responsible

Should the responsibility fall on the person who gave the minor the alcohol?
Yes, again partially but definitely there should be some consequence
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Last edited by GSLynn; April 24th, 2012 at 04:46 PM.
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  #5  
April 24th, 2012, 05:13 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Do you think a bartender should be held legally responsible for an underage drinker even if the bartender did not serve the minor? No
Should the responsibility fall on the people hosting the wedding? Depends on if they gave the minor permission to drink at the event or not
Should all the responsibility fall on the underage drinker? I think 90% of the responsibility should fall on the underage drinker
Should the responsibility fall on the person who gave the minor the alcohol? Yes, I do think they should be held responsible, especially if they knowingly gave the minor the alcohol.

This was the conversation from earlier (not verbatim but close enough):

Her: I can't find an overnight sitter so I guess I just won't drink
Me: You can't drink anyways, they won't serve you. (Shes 20)
Her: Doesn't mean I can't drink
Me: X and Y are responsible for their guests. People drinking underage could get them in a lot of trouble. That kind of stuff is no joke.
Her: Its not like I'm going to get wasted. If I drink, it will just be one or two and I've already talked to X and Y about it.
Me: As long as they ok'd it with the bartenders and banquet hall. They can lose their licenses and get fined if you are caught drinking underage. X and Y can't give you permission to break the law.

No response.

In this scenario, I'd put 90% of the responsibility on her and the other 10 on whoever supplies her with alcohol (most likely her bf). That kind of intentional law breaking really bugs me and I think it should be punished heavily.
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  #6  
April 24th, 2012, 06:14 PM
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Eh, it's a wedding, let them live a little. If it's a public venue I'd say be discreet, that's all. Is it really such a big deal? It's a private family celebration. Not a high school kegger.
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  #7  
April 25th, 2012, 06:59 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If this wedding was a family affair and the underager was with his/her parents they have all the legal right in the world to drink in WI. The parent is responsible for them. OR if the person is married to someone of age they can also be served. In this case the spouse is responsible for them.

I wouldn't place the blame on the bar tender in any form unless they were directly serving minors. There is really no way you can control if you hand a glass to a 40 year old and they turn it around and give it to their 12 year old daughter. If the bar tender was so worried about that then I guess it's not a great job choice for them. You can't exactly track around every guest and make sure it's consumed by the one who ordered it.

When I read the conversation between you and your friend I see one of two things. Either she doesn't want to expose her child to alcohol in any form which is why she wont drink when the kid is around and would equal to me someone that shouldn't be worried about at a function, and probably already drinks at home or at other outings. OR you have the type that is planning on getting so sloshed at this wedding that she doesn't want to be responsible for her kid. In this case she probably already drinks at home and other places too, but not responsibly. Only you and "x and Y" would be able to know that for sure. If X and Y are so concerned with her drinking they could always tell the bar tender not to serve her OR her boyfriend, but I'm sure that would cause drama.
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  #8  
April 25th, 2012, 07:40 AM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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She isn't bringing her son, she was planning on having an overnight sitter. That fell through so now she is mad that she can't drink like she wanted to because she has to go home and take care of him. I'm not sure who was planning on driving home but if they are both drinking, she is most likely going to be the one driving home. A DUI at 20 will do nothing but cause her problems she can't deal with. Irresponsibility and alcohol bother me, a lot...
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  #9  
April 25th, 2012, 09:51 AM
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Sorry but this just reinforces my belief that 21 is a ridiculous age of majority.

She has a flipping child that she's responsible for raising, but can't legally have a beer.

I get where you are coming from, because even if I think the law is stupid, it's still the law, however if you had responded to me that way, I wouldn't have responded either. She had already said she's having one or two and she cleared it with x and y.

Not sure why you are assuming she won't be responsible?

Also since I've seen 16 year olds have a beer with their parents at weddings, I guess I wasn't expecting "underage" to mean a 20 year old lol.
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  #10  
April 25th, 2012, 10:17 AM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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But X and Y can't give her permission to drink at their wedding which is at a venue they are renting. It puts the bartender and the venue at risk if she gets drunk and kills a family on the way home from the wedding, not to mention X and Y will also be responsible. I can't explain why I don't think she will be responsible, I just don't think she will. Some 20 year olds are more responsible than others and wanting to drink at a wedding - fully knowing that its against the law and puts a whole lot of people at risk - does not say "responsible adult" to me.
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  #11  
April 25th, 2012, 11:25 AM
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The only reason 20 isn't considered responsible is because the govt. has decided that for us. Honestly, its never made sense to me that we can put an 18 year old behind the wheel of a car or send them off to war, but if they have a drink before they're 21 years old, they're considered irresponsible.
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  #12  
April 25th, 2012, 11:37 AM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tammyjh View Post
The only reason 20 isn't considered responsible is because the govt. has decided that for us. Honestly, its never made sense to me that we can put an 18 year old behind the wheel of a car or send them off to war, but if they have a drink before they're 20 years old, they're considered irresponsible.
I agree, I don't understand why people can't drink until 21 but at 18, they are allowed to do everything else.
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  #13  
April 25th, 2012, 12:14 PM
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I really think 21 is a ridiculous age for drinking anyways.

Either raise the age for military admits to 21 (or whatever arbitrary age), and keep the drinking age the same, or lower the drinking age to 21.

People say it's because the brain isn't done growing yet and can't make responsible decisions.... yet 18 year olds are responsible enough to make the decision to go to war and die? Sorry, don't buy it.

If people are old enough to have a credit card, buy a car, buy a house, go to war, go to college, etc... then they can drink. That's my thoughts anyways.

I also think that if we introduce responsible drinking tactics at a young age, then we wouldn't have people getting hurt when drinking and driving, over indulging, etc... I have no problem wit her having a drink or two as long as she knows her limits, but understand it's the law. I think the law sucks though, lol.
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  #14  
April 25th, 2012, 12:30 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
But X and Y can't give her permission to drink at their wedding which is at a venue they are renting. It puts the bartender and the venue at risk if she gets drunk and kills a family on the way home from the wedding, not to mention X and Y will also be responsible. I can't explain why I don't think she will be responsible, I just don't think she will. Some 20 year olds are more responsible than others and wanting to drink at a wedding - fully knowing that its against the law and puts a whole lot of people at risk - does not say "responsible adult" to me.
Yes!

I mean, sure, I agree that the 21 year old drinking age is both ridiculous and arbitrary. There are lots of reasons to have it lowered. HOWEVER, it's not. Right now, the legal drinking age is 21. We can whine and moan about it all we want, but that won't change the fact that by drinking at the venue she is breaking the law (regardless, also, of if it's allowed for her to do so with her parents in her own home. In some states it is, in others it is not.). Regardless of who gave her permission, the venue and potentially the bartender and/or server or whomever was suppling her the drinks will also be held accountable if she gets caught or gets into an accident. Like you said, failing to take into consideration the consequence her actions will have on the others around her is not showing the best responsibility. I can't say I've never been there, or that I don't disagree with the law, but that doesn't mean that she (and LOTS of other people, myself included at that age) isn't being irresponsible/careless about it.
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