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  • 3 Post By K.A.T

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  #1  
June 29th, 2012, 06:24 AM
MindyRambo's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
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I know we have discussed this before, but for the sake of this discussion I'd like to focus on the lying part. I know tons of parents allow their children under 13 to have a FB page, as long as they have the password and approve all friends first, but I'm wondering if parents who agree to this are aware that it’s not just a matter of clicking on “I’m at least 13 yrs old” you actually have to go out of your way to lie about your year of birth. If you enter a year of birth below 13 years old, it will not allow you to continue. So really, should you be teaching them that *sometimes* it’s ok to lie? Seems like that would make “always tell the truth” kind of confusing to kids.

Thoughts?
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  #2  
June 29th, 2012, 08:08 AM
Girl IS my name's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Lubbock, TX
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IMO, even 13 is way too young to have a Facebook account. I remember when it was still only for college students, and I actually preferred it that way. I was angry when they started letting high school kids on and MORTIFIED when they let parents on. I agree that it is a good way to connect with friends and family. I just think that high school is way too young to even be allowed to have one.
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  #3  
June 29th, 2012, 08:16 AM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 3,207
Why would you be MORTIFIED that they allow parents to have a fb account?

I have wanted to start this debate so many times!!! It is actually such a pet peeve of mine. My kids will NOT have a FB account younger than the age of 13. I totally agree that it is teaching your kid that it's ok to lie about certain things in order to do what they want to do. Even if FB lowered the age, I would still probably not let them have an account younger than that, but definitely not when it is against the rules (and federal law, actually).
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  #5  
June 29th, 2012, 10:59 AM
Girl IS my name's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Lubbock, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffycheeks View Post
Why would you be MORTIFIED that they allow parents to have a fb account?
I was mortified because when they started allowing people outside of schools on Facebook, I was still in college. And having my mom on Facebook was mortifying because what if I accidentally posted something and got in trouble? Now it's not so bad. My family that I don't get to talk to all the time gets to keep up with the progress that my baby is making. Some of my friends parents are kind of obnoxious though. I have one that likes every single photo I put up. She could just like the album, but no. She likes every photo! That's annoying when the little boxes keep popping up in the corner of my Facebook. That could just be a nit picky thing on my part though.
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  #6  
June 29th, 2012, 11:05 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Delta, BC
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I don't agree with parents lying or allowing their children to lie, just so they can have Facebook.
If my child is mature enough at 13 they may be permitted to have a closely monitored one.
Though by that time who knows what the rules will be lol that's still alot of years off.
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  #7  
June 29th, 2012, 01:19 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
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Lets just say my 13 year old is grounded and lost all her electronics because she lied about facebook, she even lost her page. I changed her password and deactivated the account. My 16 year old got in trouble too cause of FB. I had no issues with her having a page but was mad that she lied to me about and blocked me, something that my 13 year old did as well. The 13 year old had the entire family blocked cause she knew we didn't approve.

I'm absolutely disgusted with the fact that you only have to be 13 to have facebook permission. I miss the days when it was just college students. I had to my college email years ago to get one. It completely bothers me when parents allow their young children on there then want to turn around and scold me for what I put on my facebook page claiming their young ones can read that. Why on earth are your young ones even on there in the first place? It just boggles my mind. Half the games you can play there you can play elsewhere too. I just don't see the reason for a minor to really be on there period. I can deal with high school kids and every day folks, but not JHS and younger.
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  #8  
June 29th, 2012, 03:05 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm with Liz on this one. So far, the only one of my kids to have a FB account is my oldest and due to the nature of her disabilities, she was 15 or 16 before she had one and even then, the rule was that she friend me. She had a lot of issues with it because she has poor social skills and trying to teach her internet safety is an ongoing issue(she's almost 19 now).

My 12 1/2 yr. old wants to be on FB but I've been holding out until she is at least 13 and maybe later than that. She has a cell phone and has lost it a few times for not using it properly due to "girl drama" and I don't know that I feel she's ready. Again though, the rule is that she has to friend dh and I and I'm already discussing how FB is not a competition to see how many "friends" she can amass. If she gets one, it is a privilege that she is not to abuse because it can be taken away any time dh and I decide to do so.
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  #9  
June 29th, 2012, 05:26 PM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
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I think it's just flat out stupid for a kid that young to have an account. But then I also think it's flat out stupid for a lot of 13+ kids to have them.

My kids neither want nor need an account. But then my kids are weird and aren't into things like that anyway. They don't want, or even like, cell phones, most video games, a lot of electronics(unless they're taking them apart and putting them back together, or making something new), new trends, fashion, etc... They're just not into fads whatsoever and most people think they're sheltered but they're really not, they just have more important things to be interested in. Even their computers aren't really used for the more popular games or sites and stuff, it's mostly just learning, researching and things like that. I'm sure that will change at some point they are after all only 13, 11 and 8. For now, I'm happy they couldn't possibly care any less about those things. They all think fb is stupid, lol.
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  #10  
June 29th, 2012, 06:03 PM
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Location: Australia
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My older two have them, and they are both over 13 *shrugs*

Sunny and Lux aren't interested yet. So thats lucky for me.

Honestly, both my younger girls are old enough to understand the legal implications and moral implications, and I would make that very very clear to them, should they wish to have a facebook account.
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  #11  
June 29th, 2012, 06:49 PM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
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Posts: 1,397
Even if you are your child's friend on facebook he/she can still set status updates to not include you and set photo albums to where you can't see them. I would want my child's password.
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  #12  
June 29th, 2012, 07:19 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babyseibel View Post
Even if you are your child's friend on facebook he/she can still set status updates to not include you and set photo albums to where you can't see them. I would want my child's password.
This is true and I had my older dd's password for a long time and will do the same for the other kids.
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  #13  
June 29th, 2012, 09:16 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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13 is too young for a FB and lying is lying.
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  #14  
June 29th, 2012, 11:17 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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I have any and all passwords to things, even the netbooks. It would be silly of me not to have them.
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  #15  
June 29th, 2012, 11:56 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 444
For me, facebook was most fun when it was just a college thing. When high school students joined, it was awkward. When everyone could join and my father and mother in law friended me, I was mortified and quickly took down many things on my profile before I accepted their request. I'm fine with all the changes now and it's great to be able to keep in contact with family, even though some things have gotten awkward such as my uncle, when those lists were popular, on his top five things he would buy if he had a million dollars, he put strippers.

A few months ago, my cousins daughter friended me on facebook. She was under 13 and that was extremely awkward. I honestly didn't want to friend her but everyone else in the family was and it felt awkward not to. I would prefer that kids not be on facebook. That and at one point I did have a stalker on facebook. I don't know about kids sharing personal information for everyone to see.
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  #16  
June 30th, 2012, 09:44 AM
The Truth is out There
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rinchan View Post
A few months ago, my cousins daughter friended me on facebook. She was under 13 and that was extremely awkward. I honestly didn't want to friend her but everyone else in the family was and it felt awkward not to. I would prefer that kids not be on facebook. That and at one point I did have a stalker on facebook. I don't know about kids sharing personal information for everyone to see.
I never friend anyone under 13, even if everyone else is. I've been asked several times "Why won't you friend so-and-so??" I tell them, "I didn't realize they were 13..." "Oh, they're not." "They're not? Then how do they have an account?"
It at least causes them to think about it for a minute.
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  #17  
June 30th, 2012, 04:38 PM
Keepin' it real!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MindyRambo View Post
I know we have discussed this before, but for the sake of this discussion I'd like to focus on the lying part. I know tons of parents allow their children under 13 to have a FB page, as long as they have the password and approve all friends first, but I'm wondering if parents who agree to this are aware that it’s not just a matter of clicking on “I’m at least 13 yrs old” you actually have to go out of your way to lie about your year of birth. If you enter a year of birth below 13 years old, it will not allow you to continue. So really, should you be teaching them that *sometimes* it’s ok to lie? Seems like that would make “always tell the truth” kind of confusing to kids.

Thoughts?
There are rules for a reason. When we "lie" to FaceBook and make it appear as if someone's over age 13, then you make it easier for people (EVEN with privacy features) to gain access to your child. Personally, I would not ever allow my child to have a FaceBook. There is no need for them to have that much access to everyone they know and those people to have access to them. Also, when you teach your child to lie about their age now, they could do it at 14. Don't forget child predators often go for 13,14, 15 yo's. Why make it easy for them? SAY NO to FACEBOOK (or similar) for your kids.

TammyJH- I don't use Facebook anymore. BUT I do know that you are able to block certain "friends" from seeing statuses. So friend-ing your child may mean nothing. If she blocks you from seeing her status, you will be blind to that post. Everyone BUT you will still see it even though you're not actually blocked from her account. Unless you are actually in her Face Book account, you won't know what's going on. I don't say that in a rude way, but because not everyone knows that feature exists.
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  #18  
September 1st, 2012, 05:28 PM
.:Kati:.'s Avatar kyler's mommy
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Personally i don't see why the age requirement isn't set to 16+, 13 is way to young to have your own fb account.
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  #19  
September 2nd, 2012, 09:26 PM
Frozenoj's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm going to go against the grain and say it doesn't bother me. We all lie sometimes and will in front of our kids, even if it's just something as simple as making up a reason to get off the phone. White lies about how delicious dinner was or something. I don't believe anyone who says they never lie. Heck, if you let your kids believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc that's lying.
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  #20  
September 4th, 2012, 02:19 PM
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Posts: 9,124
The reason fb has a rule about 13 has absolutely NOTHING to do with them protecting your child. They are protecting THEMSELVES because of a law that prevents them from providing information on children under 13 to 3rd parties. Because they don't want to weed out the younger set, they made it a "rule" not to allow them.

That being said, there is nothing illegal about a child under 13 having a fb account. My 10 year old has one (that I have the password to & check frequently). I don't have an issue with it obviously. I don't think of it as lying because I have no relationship with fb - it is circumventing their rule made to legally protect themselves.
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