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  #21  
July 5th, 2012, 11:08 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Kat I feel for T!!! I remember going on vacation in 7th grade and coming home with a bra that I made mom cut the size off because I was afraid someone would see it. I cannot buy a bra at Lane Bryant any larger than what i wear.. they don't make them.

I can't say anything about long hair, DH has long hair. He hasn't said anything on whether he'd want to let a boy have long hair.. I should go ask. I think if they had my hair I'd be ok with it, but not DH's. He has that baby fine hair as an adult, I've had decently thick hair my whole life
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  #22  
July 5th, 2012, 11:55 PM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
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I'm honestly not sure I have any rules at all, really, right now anyway. Other than if we go somewhere, you have to be dressed in more than just your underwear.

My girls aren't into wearing anything tight or revealing, yet.(they're 13 and 11). If they were, I guess that's a bridge I'd cross when we got there-I can say for certain it's not going to be a bridge I come to anytime soon though. For me it's not just the clothing, it's how you act, and carry yourself, while wearing it.(depending on the article of clothing of course). I'm not going to outright say tight and/or short equates with a slutty look, or something. Or that loose and baggy indicates something bad, either. I just don't believe that to be true. I personally think it's entirely possible to dress however you want and still be a relatively decent human being and productive member of society. I'm not convinced that others' opinions and issues ought to dictate what is or is not appropriate for you at all times.(some, yes, all, no). So I guess it also falls under situational for me.

I don't care about slogans being on things. I don't care about character clothes. I don't care about long hair on boys and short on girls. I don't care about gender bending clothes either.(ie, my son has, on numerous occasions, worn girl clothes out of the house, my girls wear boy stuff all the time). It's just really not a big issue for me, any of it. I can only see any of it actually becoming an issue, if one of my children makes it one at any point. Clothes are just clothes here, nothing more, nothing less.
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  #23  
July 6th, 2012, 10:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHippy View Post
Do you have any restrictions or rules for your kids clothing?
I don't have any ban on clothing for my kids, but I do choose what I do and don't buy. Now, if my kids want to ever act dumb and wear shorts in -15* weather, I'll put my foot down. Or if they want to wear a shirt that advocates illegal activity, sexual immorality or plain stupid & offensive language? They won't be wearing it at MY home or in school. They can do what they want at age 18.

But my kids don't seem to care what I pick out. I give them the prices, let them come to me and if it's in the price range and looks nice, they can have it. My dd had to buy a training bra and can wear tank tops and such with it in summer. I prefer her to choose loose outfits (meaning not tight-fitting), but now that she has a bra, if it's a little tight, it's not a big deal
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  #24  
July 6th, 2012, 04:28 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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It's not about tight/short = slutty or bad. It's about what's appropriate for young girls to wear. Schools have dress codes as do most jobs, so if they don't learn at a young age what is appropriate to wear to xyz place, they won't understand it when they're older and working.
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  #25  
July 6th, 2012, 05:19 PM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
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Staying within the confines of a rule(when they exist) is entirely different from having the exact same set of rules outside of that particular situation.
My home is neither a school, nor a workplace (though it functions as both).
Going out in public again is not the same as a school, or a workplace, either. We do follow rules, when there are any, but if there are not, we're not going to follow all social norms just because someone takes issue with something rather insignificant.

I do disagree entirely on the judgment of what is and is not appropriate though. Even though others' standards and ideals are what all rules are based off of, I don't find they are either necessary or even desired in all situations(again some, yes, all no). What one person deems inappropriate I very well may not, and vice versa. Neither one of us should be able to dictate appropriate for another, unless we're in some kind of position that warrants the ability(like a job where we must either create or enforce rules in place). It is after all just our own opinions and ideals.

My kids don't need to have any sort of restrictions everywhere to learn what is and is not appropriate at all times. Just like they don't need to touch the hot stove to know the thing is hot when it's on. There are things you can teach, and have your children understand, without them needing to actually be in a specific situation. We all do it all the time as parents.

I do think for some people it really is tight-slutty and baggy=thug (or worse, on both counts). You might not think that way, but some sure do, lol. Same way some take issue with sayings on clothing, or characters or gender bending clothes, or any other number of issues. Everyone has a right to dislike whatever they want, but you're not going to convince me that all of their reasons both make sense and actually are correct for everyone. They're simply their opinions, nothing more, nothing less.

Someone at the parade we went to yesterday called my son a lil thug n*****. Why? Because his hair is red and blue-with blonde streaks, and it was up in a mowhawk, and his shorts were a little baggy(or looked that way to them I guess, they weren't actually). Inappropriate hair style? For many, it is, completely and utterly, especially on an 8 yr old. For us? Hell no, it's hair, he's fine, he has no intention of getting a wall street 9-5 and deciding to keep the look while at work. He's not a moron(not that anyone here called him that, lol). He's still the sweet lil 8 yr old who minds his manners and all those around him, with or without his quirks, his clothes, and his hair being what some might deem inappropriate. He could have just as easily worn a dress, and still been the same person. His personality doesn't alter because his clothing, or hair style does, though. I'm pretty sure more people than not, also fit this category.
I feel the same about tight or revealing clothes. I don't always assume that a girl in tight and/or revealing clothes is sending some kind of message. Some might be, sure, but definitely not all of them. I make enough judgment calls of others and just choose not to make this one yet one more on my list.
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  #26  
July 7th, 2012, 06:06 AM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For the boys, I prefer them to wear jeans an d a polo style shirt when leaving the house. They have character shirts they wear at home and to play in but I just don't care for character clothes in general. If we are going out to eat (aside from fast food) They have to wear jeans and not shorts (again shorts are just something I see as play clothes I guess. . . . .thanks mom!)

For my daughter (and same will apply for the one on the way) She has to be able to bend over with nothing hanging out the back. Shorts are a must under skirts and dresses (no matter how long, kids will be kids!!). She does do pageants so she gets to wear some makeup for that. But her rules for pageant clothes are even stricter than her rules for street clothes. I am ok with her swimming in a two piece, and because of her body type it is a necessity. She is so long and skinny that if I get a one piece it is either so tight it tugs down in the front and up at the bottom, or it is so loose on bottom you can see her girl parts. On stage she is not allowed to wear a swimsuit at all. Swimsuits are for swimming not for prancing around in front of people with hair and makeup up done. in fact she is not allowed to show her belly at all at pageants.

She likes to wear dresses and skirts most of the time, and would wear heels every day if I let her. But I won't.

I dress modestly and basically if its something I wouldn't wear, she won't wear it.

I may change a little when she is a teenager depending on how she acts and her body type
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  #27  
July 7th, 2012, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frackel View Post
Staying within the confines of a rule(when they exist) is entirely different from having the exact same set of rules outside of that particular situation.
My home is neither a school, nor a workplace (though it functions as both).
Going out in public again is not the same as a school, or a workplace, either. We do follow rules, when there are any, but if there are not, we're not going to follow all social norms just because someone takes issue with something rather insignificant.

I do disagree entirely on the judgment of what is and is not appropriate though. Even though others' standards and ideals are what all rules are based off of, I don't find they are either necessary or even desired in all situations(again some, yes, all no). What one person deems inappropriate I very well may not, and vice versa. Neither one of us should be able to dictate appropriate for another, unless we're in some kind of position that warrants the ability(like a job where we must either create or enforce rules in place). It is after all just our own opinions and ideals.

My kids don't need to have any sort of restrictions everywhere to learn what is and is not appropriate at all times. Just like they don't need to touch the hot stove to know the thing is hot when it's on. There are things you can teach, and have your children understand, without them needing to actually be in a specific situation. We all do it all the time as parents.

I do think for some people it really is tight-slutty and baggy=thug (or worse, on both counts). You might not think that way, but some sure do, lol. Same way some take issue with sayings on clothing, or characters or gender bending clothes, or any other number of issues. Everyone has a right to dislike whatever they want, but you're not going to convince me that all of their reasons both make sense and actually are correct for everyone. They're simply their opinions, nothing more, nothing less.

Someone at the parade we went to yesterday called my son a lil thug n*****. Why? Because his hair is red and blue-with blonde streaks, and it was up in a mowhawk, and his shorts were a little baggy(or looked that way to them I guess, they weren't actually). Inappropriate hair style? For many, it is, completely and utterly, especially on an 8 yr old. For us? Hell no, it's hair, he's fine, he has no intention of getting a wall street 9-5 and deciding to keep the look while at work. He's not a moron(not that anyone here called him that, lol). He's still the sweet lil 8 yr old who minds his manners and all those around him, with or without his quirks, his clothes, and his hair being what some might deem inappropriate. He could have just as easily worn a dress, and still been the same person. His personality doesn't alter because his clothing, or hair style does, though. I'm pretty sure more people than not, also fit this category.
I feel the same about tight or revealing clothes. I don't always assume that a girl in tight and/or revealing clothes is sending some kind of message. Some might be, sure, but definitely not all of them. I make enough judgment calls of others and just choose not to make this one yet one more on my list.
Aside from everything else you said, I find it disgusting that some jerk off the street called an 8yo those names! Just unbelievable! Even if I said that I know that there are parents who might do a double take on a mo-hawk, or snicker that "omg a mo-hawk, my gawd what those parents thinking", I'm appalled someone took it upon themselves to use such foul language to describe a CHILD jsut because they don't like how he looked. Jeez, what's wrong w/ ppl????
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  #28  
July 7th, 2012, 04:30 PM
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I was thinking that too. What ever happened to keeping opinions to yourself? And how can someone feel comfortable using that kind of language to describe a child?
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  #29  
July 7th, 2012, 08:12 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Why polo shirts when out? There are plenty of other non-polo shirts that are dressy.

We could never do only jeans when out, gets to 100 degrees here.
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  #30  
July 8th, 2012, 12:21 AM
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It's definitely not the first time we've heard something mentioned about something one of the kids was wearing. Usually it's ds because sometimes he just wants to wear what he wants to wear and it doesn't coincide with what some deem "normal". Like wearing a halloween costume out, when it's not halloween. Or, his hair, which he's had in a mowhawk many, many times. I've also spiked it. The girls have done the same things they just don't do it as often now.

I don't know what makes people say stupid things, especially like that. Usually they aren't that bad, but to be honest I think saying anything at all is kinda stupid. I don't particularly care what others' children are wearing, or how their hair looks. I just don't see a need to care. If I notice a kid wearing something that also, doesn't fall under what most deem "normal" the most I do is think to myself that kid is probably just as quirky as mine are. I don't really give it much thought.
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  #33  
July 14th, 2012, 05:52 PM
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I don't have restrictions on hair for my boys. Infact a lot of them have long hair. Pants have to fit(not hanging down) and they wear a belt in public. Shirts fully cover their stomach, and say nothing offensive. PJ's, tanks, and track/sweat pants/shorts don't qualify as public clothing.

No hair restrictions on my girls. PJ's, tank tops, and sweats/track pants/shorts don't qualify as public clothing. Nothing is allowed to be short, or reveal to much. I don't like things with sayings like "Princess" or writing on the rear either. I find it shocking how a lot of children/teens are allowed to go out revealing so much. I don't want to see it, it's offensive, and shows how naive the parents are.
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  #34  
July 14th, 2012, 06:03 PM
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How are tanks naive or offensive? MN gets HOT in the summer, and I think tanks, shorts and skirts above the knee are weather acceptable. I'm not saying boobs should be popping out or butts showing, but I wear speghetti strapped tank tops and shorts/skirts above the knee in the summer because for me it's too hot not to.

ETA and I grew up in MN and that is how most people dress there, and I found nothing offensive about it.
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  #35  
July 14th, 2012, 09:03 PM
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lol I find it funny what some get offended by.

Ds rarely wears a shirt outside. It's too **** hot to. I don't blame him. I'd do the same if I could, lol. People around here give him strange looks for it when he's outside.(he wears them when we go places, except the beach, obviously) Dd2 wears spaghetti strap shirts, dd1 does not(she hates them and is a bit too blessed in the chest to be comfy in them). She'll wear tanks though, especially if it's hot. But she's still more comfy in tees. Dd1 wears more tomboyish things, and gets weird looks for that too(I don't understand it). Dd2 is very girly, and despite the fact that at 11 she wears a size 6/7/8(in lil kids, not girls or women's, lol) the shorts are often VERY short on her. Her legs are the biggest part of her entire body. I can't fix that, and neither can she. She's just about max height for life too-so this is an issue she's going to deal with forever. I'm not making her wear size 10 and up clothes simply for length when they won't fit in the waist or butt, at all. Belts aren't always an option she has a very sensitive abdomen and tactile issues. She gets plenty of "looks" when people see her in her fav shorts which happen to be kinda short on her, but fit perfectly, and are very comfy for her.

In fact she was wearing her bathing suit last weekend when we went to the mardi gras(not a real one it's a local festival in my hometown for the 4th-which is held on a beach mind you and we spent 85% of the day in the water). It's a bikini, a really cute one actually. It has no back, except a tiny lower strap and one neck one, but covers her chest completely, has a flap of fabric that hangs down and covers most of her abdomen, and then bikini bottoms. The bottoms look really small on her. But they aren't, they fit fine. It's not skimpy, yet I heard more than one comment about it. I don't think I have a pic but I'll look for one. It looks really cute on her and is the first suit EVER she hasn't been self conscious about because of her scars from her mic-key and the damage on her skin. Yet people feel entitled to be "offended" because her suit somehow crosses an invisible line we didn't know we were supposed to not cross. My only thought really is... WTFrack...seriously. Your pretty widdle senses being offended is the least of my concerns when my kids get dressed everyday, lol. I care about their comfort, end of story. Do people really think others can't see them staring and making strange faces as they pass judgment? lol
I'd feel more like a ******* for staring at a kid in clothes I may not necessarily agree with, than being the parent that allowed their child to wear them.
There are just so many more important things to worry about when raising our children these days. It doesn't honestly matter what they wear, when it comes to creeps creepin on them-if that's the concern. They're going to do it regardless, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. That's how those sickos are, and it's just part of life. So we teach our kids how to deal with strange situations and such. I'm sooo not comfy trying to make my kids feel weird about their clothing choices. When they're babies, toddlers, I get say in pretty much most if not all of what they wear. Beyond that, I let them spread their wings a bit, to pretty much compltely once they can make those decisions. They aren't a mini me, and they aren't idiots. They're capable of making such decisions.
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  #36  
July 14th, 2012, 10:20 PM
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My kids don't wear shirts outside either, and in our yard they go naked. DH goes topless here too. I always thought tanks were fine, and now living here it has opened my eyes on the way people view the body, etc. Like here there are plenty of beaches where women can go topless, and it's a family enviroment. No one bats an eye at boobs, they are just another part of the body. But at the same time, women can dress sexy and dressing sexy and being bare chested are two different things. I guess I see it as the same as breastfeeding. You can still nurse your child and view your breasts as sexual at different times.
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  #37  
July 15th, 2012, 04:36 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I guess I've gotten more naive over the years. Shorts, tank tops, and sweat pants qualify for public clothing here. I don't even know if my boys own a belt.
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  #38  
July 15th, 2012, 08:43 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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^ Mine don't, they wear clothes that fit.
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  #39  
July 15th, 2012, 01:55 PM
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It's socially acceptable to walk around the shops in a bikini and shorts here, HAHA.

Not that any of my kids do that (to my knowledge) but shorts, tracksuit pants, singlets, shorts, pfft. Water off a duck's back. Not to mention that when it his summer here, there are serious risks of heatstroke, if we are going out, I don't want my kids in pants and sleeves. I want them weather appropriate and smothered in sunscreen.

May I ask what is "naive" about allowing children to wear those items?
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  #40  
July 15th, 2012, 03:13 PM
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OK I know that I have issues with clothing that are too short or too tight, but to say it's naive? Really? High horse issue much? I can understand thinking a parent is naive if they allow their kids to be out in public practically naked, and I mean clothing were they're boobs/butts or maybe vajay jay hanging out. But tanks, shorts, sweat pants...wow. That's a whole new level of snob if I've ever seen one.
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