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Sending your adoptive child back?


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  #21  
August 20th, 2012, 06:32 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Where did you read that its possible to give up rights to a child in america? Even fathers cannot simply sign over rights without someone else attempting to adopt said child. Its pretty hard to give up your parental rights in almost all cases. Otherwise its abandonment
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  #22  
August 21st, 2012, 09:23 AM
Tuatha's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Loudon, TN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lash View Post
Where did you read that its possible to give up rights to a child in america? Even fathers cannot simply sign over rights without someone else attempting to adopt said child. Its pretty hard to give up your parental rights in almost all cases. Otherwise its abandonment


It's going to depend on the state and their laws, but in TN as long as you have someone to take the place of the parent leaving, its easy to sign over rights. You don't have to go through and adoption process, it can be a family member.

I have two ex friends who did this, one, her husband decided he wanted out and wanted nothing to do with the kids, she got ahold of a lawyer, her stepfather agreed to take on legal role of the father and paper was done in a week. They didn't even have to go to court, just the paperwork to get signed by a judge.

Another "friend" of mine, she decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore to her 5yr old son and new born baby girl, her husband was put in a really bad spot, at that time he couldn't take care of the little girl properly because of work, no babysitter, etc etc so my "friends" mother took over rights of the little girl.

A lot of states now also have safe places, a woman who doesn't want a baby can leave it at a hospital or church or like place and they don't even have to give any information. Not all states require a father to even be put on a birth cert.

I wouldn't say its "easy peasy" but its not all that hard either.
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  #23  
August 21st, 2012, 05:18 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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But that's the exact point I was making, SOMEONE legally stated that they would take care of the child. In all of those scenarios, someone legally took over parenting. Abandoning a child by putting them on a plane is NOT the same. Russia did not agree to take over parenting responsibilities. She simply put him on a plane and drove home.
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  #24  
August 21st, 2012, 07:20 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So I looked up some laws in the US and most say for volunatry termaniation of parental rights a Judge still needs to decide on it.

The safe haven laws apply to babies, not 5 year olds, for example.
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  #25  
August 21st, 2012, 08:58 PM
Tuatha's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lash View Post
But that's the exact point I was making, SOMEONE legally stated that they would take care of the child. In all of those scenarios, someone legally took over parenting. Abandoning a child by putting them on a plane is NOT the same. Russia did not agree to take over parenting responsibilities. She simply put him on a plane and drove home.
I wasn't talking about this case specifically. Just to what I quoted about parents giving up parental rights in general. Depending on the state, its really not that hard to do in a lot of cases.

Quote:
So I looked up some laws in the US and most say for volunatry termaniation of parental rights a Judge still needs to decide on it.

The safe haven laws apply to babies, not 5 year olds, for example.
They do, but that doesn't mean the people even have to go to court. Again, I was only speaking in general and across the board about parents giving up their rights, not about this specific case. In this womans case she went about it all wrong, there were/are proper channels to go through and people to go to. But for whatever reason she decided not to.
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  #26  
August 22nd, 2012, 07:57 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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^ They said a hearing, which is normally going to court.
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  #27  
August 22nd, 2012, 09:03 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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As I was one of the posters discussing voluntarily terminating parental rights, I never meant to imply that it was easy, nor should it be. And yes, in some cases, it does come down to abandonment but not in the same manner as the woman in the OP, but by being charged with it for refusing to allow the child back into the home due to legitimate safety concerns. Example below:

Calling the Cops on Your Child - NYTimes.com
Quote:
Kay and Jim have fostered about 20 children over the years, and have adopted
seven of them, including Thomas. The boy had spent the first several months of
his life abandoned in a hospital and has had attachment issues ever since,
according to his parents, who describe Thomas as setting fires, hurting the
family pet and stoning to death a baby bird who had fallen from a nest.

He has also threatened his mother, and on a morning late last month Kay awoke
from a nap to find the boy holding a knife to her throat. It was a steak knife,
because the family had gotten rid of all the larger kitchen knives long ago.

Like Wendy, Kay called the police (though much more frantically, I would
assume), who took Thomas away for a while. After a short hospitalization the
couple was told to bring him back home. If not, Davich writes, Kay, who was the
one who officially asked that the boy not return, “would be charged with child
neglect or abandonment. And she would also be placed on a registry of child
abusers, officially branding her a bad mother.”

So far the couple has refused, and has attended two hearings on the
abandonment charges. They have another child living in their home, an
11-year-old girl, and Thomas has threatened her, too.
adding that it doesn't even sound like the parents were trying to terminate their parental rights in this story. They just didn't want him in the house as his behaviors were not under control and no one would be safe. But they were still charged.
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Last edited by Tammyjh; August 22nd, 2012 at 09:07 AM.
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  #28  
August 22nd, 2012, 10:19 AM
Tuatha's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHippy View Post
^ They said a hearing, which is normally going to court.
I understand what a hearing is, but in many cases if everyone has everything worked out with lawyers ahead of time and paperwork is signed and agree'd upon, then they don't have to go to court or a hearing. The paperwork will go to a judge, and there will probably even be a hearing with the lawyers as per standard, but if everything is all worked out then the parents/whoever doesn't have to go to court. Obviously there is always the possibility of there being other factors involved that could make things more difficult, (such as the case of the OP, or a case were the parents just don't let the kid come home, etc etc) like with anything else, but if there are no other issues then its a pretty cut and dry thing in some states.
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  #29  
August 22nd, 2012, 06:30 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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^ You normally do mediation, which is still going to the court house and getting that stuff in writing with both lawyers present and then the mediator. The only difference is you won't see a Judge face to face. It is not normally easy to just terminate your parental rights, and it still needs to be judged on no matter if you see the Judge or use a mediator with signed papers. In the end it's normally still a Judge who gets to decide based on the reasons why the parents want to terminate rights, etc. And even in the case where the parents are not together and a man wants to terminate his rights, even if mom is ok with it, it can still be a huge hassle that takes a long time.
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