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Santa: fact or fiction?


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  #1  
November 28th, 2012, 02:10 AM
Frozenoj's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When telling your kids about Santa is he a real person who actually brings their presents or do you approach him as a make-believe fairy tale? Or do you think to kids they're kind of the same thing?
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  #2  
November 28th, 2012, 02:18 AM
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I was raised with the belief that Santa is a myth. A wonderful, glorious story that makes people smile. We still got presents that said "from Santa" and we loved the myth behind those, but we knew that a man didn't actually come into our house and leave them for us.
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  #3  
November 28th, 2012, 03:19 AM
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Is that what you're planning on doing for your bean next year?
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  #4  
November 28th, 2012, 05:54 AM
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I don't really talk about it. Whatever they believe is what they have picked up. I am not sure what that is frankly. DS#2 is so little he seems rather oblivious. Ds#1 acts like he believes but recently told me that it makes no sense. He actually started with telling me the Easter Bunny makes no sense & progressed to the tooth fairy & Santa. I asked why he thought that, etc. I have not so far been asked my opinion & therefore have not given it. I asked what eh though t& he said said he though ti twas "magical make believe". He also told me earlier this summer that he thought Santas you visit at Christmas time are not real & there are just there to spread Christmas happiness.

So we discuss neither way - I just put gifts out in the morning on Dec 25th & they believe what they believe about it. I haven't felt a need to discuss it really.
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  #5  
November 28th, 2012, 11:29 AM
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I was raised to believe that Santa was not real, that it's our parents who give us the gifts and that Santa is a bit of fun.
It did make it difficult, because my cousins were raised to believe in Santa, and we had to be careful around them to not say he wasn't real.
I plan on being truthful, that Santa isn't real, but that he is fun to believe in. I don't see a point in what is essentially lying to your kids. If they choose to believe that he's real, that's fine, but I'm not going to make Christmas all about Santa. I really believe that Christmas should be more about Jesus and the spirit of Giving and kindness to each other.
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  #6  
November 28th, 2012, 07:53 PM
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I was raised that Santa was a real person, who brought real presents. We were poor, so my mom scrimped all year to save for big presents from Santa, things they would never buy for us other wise because she feared we would ask for big stuff all the time. Even when I stopped telling her what I wanted, and mailing my letter myself, I still got what I wanted.. so I assumed he was real. She managed to trick us for a very very long time.

Santa is real in this house too. I'm surprised Reme hasn't figured it out yet because the tradition changed after the divorce. He no longer gets everything from Santa and instead gets a set number of presents from Santa, the rest from us. DH's family was so poor everything came from Santa, but they never got a lot anyway, but his parents saved and saved to ensure that the fat man had something good for them Christmas morning. But of course, "Good" in the 70's and 80's was a $20 present, where Good these days costs your arm, leg and first born.

When Reme stops believing in Santa, he'll stop getting presents from Santa. He'll just get a bigger gift from us instead.
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  #7  
November 28th, 2012, 10:05 PM
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Santa was a real person who brought presents for us. I also grew up poor but my parents saved and went out in the Black Friday craziness and utilized layaway to get us great presents for Christmas. I think I would have actually been more grateful for them if I knew they came from my parents and not Santa.

I have decided to do it differently when we have kids. I want Santa to be a fairy tale that's fun to hear stories about rather than a real person. If my kids believe anyway I won't harp on the fact he's not real but they won't get that idea from me. I'm going to ask the other adults to keep my wishes in mind and not act like he's real but I know that's a point of contention with my mom. For some reason she thinks me doing something differently than she did makes her a bad mom.
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  #8  
November 28th, 2012, 11:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frozenoj View Post
Is that what you're planning on doing for your bean next year?
Yeah, it will be tricky, I know our niece thinks he is very much real, so I guess we will also have to work on "not spoiling it for the other kids".
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  #9  
November 29th, 2012, 03:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frozenoj View Post
Santa was a real person who brought presents for us. I also grew up poor but my parents saved and went out in the Black Friday craziness and utilized layaway to get us great presents for Christmas. I think I would have actually been more grateful for them if I knew they came from my parents and not Santa.

I have decided to do it differently when we have kids. I want Santa to be a fairy tale that's fun to hear stories about rather than a real person. If my kids believe anyway I won't harp on the fact he's not real but they won't get that idea from me. I'm going to ask the other adults to keep my wishes in mind and not act like he's real but I know that's a point of contention with my mom. For some reason she thinks me doing something differently than she did makes her a bad mom.
It was exactly the same at my house growing up, he was real. Actually to this very day, my parents will not admit that Santa is not real (I'm 30) and there are still some presents that are "from Santa" with his special red pen and different wrapping paper. Seriously.

I also have told them I wouldn't lie to my kids if they straight up asked me, and they reacted like your mom did. They assume it means they did it wrong, just because I may do it differently. I remember being devastated when I found out Santa wasn't real, and I had asked them point blank over and over and they maintained that he was real.
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  #10  
November 29th, 2012, 07:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MindyRambo View Post
It was exactly the same at my house growing up, he was real. Actually to this very day, my parents will not admit that Santa is not real (I'm 30) and there are still some presents that are "from Santa" with his special red pen and different wrapping paper. Seriously.

I also have told them I wouldn't lie to my kids if they straight up asked me, and they reacted like your mom did. They assume it means they did it wrong, just because I may do it differently. I remember being devastated when I found out Santa wasn't real, and I had asked them point blank over and over and they maintained that he was real.
Oh my gosh we sound like twins lol. I was also devastated when I found out which is why I don't want to lie to my kids about it. I held on to my belief for a while after most kids in my class had figured it out and then felt so embarrassed about it. We still get Santa presents too only in our house they are unwrapped.
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  #11  
November 29th, 2012, 11:02 AM
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My mom reacted the exact opposite. She told me to do it when they're little, but slowly phase it out around 8-10 because it's just too much work.

Should also note, by the time her youngest were turning 8-10 we were no longer poor and she could afford to give us good gifts and not feel like she was taking food off the table. My aunt still does Santa for her oldest.

I doubt Reme will believe much longer, and once he doesn't, well he'll convince everyone Santa's not real because he doesn't have an internal mute button.
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  #12  
December 3rd, 2012, 07:27 PM
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I let my kids believe whatever they want to believe. It's entirely up to them.
My oldest just turned 14. Does she still believe?...Whether or not she believes in Santa, as a person, I can't say for certain. But she most certainly believes in the spirit of Santa. If she doesn't believe in him as an actual entity, she never lets on.

My kids very well know what they get, even if not high ticket items(because they never get high ticket anything), are still things I'd not be able to afford on my own. They're well aware of our financial status and how tight things can and do get around here. So that probably does lend a bit of a boost into the Santa department. At least to some extent.

I see nothing at all wrong with letting them have faith in someone, or some thing, of their choosing. I don't necessarily believe it to be "lying" to them. If I tried to explain why in detail, I'd probably offend people. Suffice it to say that allowing my kids to have faith-a hope, a belief in something(in this case, someone) not seen-is not something I see as a negative.

So, they can believe in whatever they want to believe in. They've only asked me a couple of times if Santa is real. My answer is always "what do you believe?". It's up to them, entirely.
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  #13  
December 4th, 2012, 09:17 AM
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My 5 year old daughter knows he's a fiction character but can be interchangeable to someone who gives something to you whole heartedly.
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  #14  
December 7th, 2012, 08:41 AM
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I was about to say I guess I feel silly because my 11 year old "still believes", and I don't do anything to change that. I don't feel so silly now thanks to Frackle. Maybe he doesn't really believe, but he just keeps his mouth shut.

I want to keep the magic of christmas as long as possible for them. As an adult it just doesn't FEEL the same.
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  #15  
December 7th, 2012, 11:53 AM
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That's basically my thought too. If they want to believe who am I to say no?
Would I want someone dashing all my dreams, hopes and faith? Hell no. So what gives me the right to tell my kid they can't have them? Even if they end up having faith in something I don't. More power to them!

That probably comes across more heated than anything. I've had this discussion with others before, especially about my oldest, and as recent as yesterday. Everyone seems to think it's silly for her to "believe". Personally, I don't think faith is a silly thing at all.
So many people all around the world have faith in things they cannot prove, or disprove, exist. And we're ok with them having that faith. But make it something others deem silly, and, well, you're apparently an idiot, or a liar, or whatever else.
Pfffft.

I'm not about to tell others they NEED to tell their kids Santa, or anything/one else exists, or doesn't exist. I'd prefer others not get to decide for me and mine, either.

Tomorrow we're going to a Christmas party at my mom's MC. All three kids are excited. Even though DD1 is too old to get a gift from Santa(they still make sure she gets one, it's just not wrapped), she's still excited. I think it's pretty awesome. She gets excited when the other two do. She loves watching my nieces and nephew get excited. She loves the magic of the holidays in general. She loves the spirit people get into this time of year, and why they get into it. She really gets into helping others and spreading the joy and happiness as best she can(we do holiday things for the local children's hospital since we spent more than one Christmas there ourselves) Personally, I'm pretty happy that she likes these things. She's 14, she's not little anymore. There may come a day when the "magic" is gone for her. Why on earth would I want to spoil it now?
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  #16  
December 7th, 2012, 04:11 PM
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I was 16 when my boyfriend's family was discussing what they did to help some of the little kids in the family keep believing in Santa. My ex turned around a look of horror on his face... because at that second, they'd ruined everything my mom worked so hard to continue. I was so upset, that was my least favorite Christmas.

After that I got to be "in" on it at home. I was totally Santa's elf, and I loved it. It helped keep Santa alive for me.

I don't know why my middle brother stopped believing, but he made it to 16 as well.

Baby brother was sitting at table with family when one of my aunts started talking about how she hates being Santa. He was really sad too and he was 17.

The magic didn't die for us though, my aunt has kids much younger than we are (9 and 2) so part of the thrill was making it good for them. Now I've got Reme, so he makes it worth it for me.

I personally hope there's always at least one little one in my life at the holidays, because Children ARE the magic of Christmas in my life
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  #17  
December 7th, 2012, 06:32 PM
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A little bit ago ds(he's 9) and I were watching this Santa's Official Reindeer Live Feed |*ReindeerCam

I can't even describe the smile on his face when Santa came on camera to feed the reindeer
Now he's all excited he gets to tell Santa tomorrow that he saw him on camera tonight. He couldn't possibly have gone to bed with a bigger grin on his face.
Priceless I tell ya, priceless. I'll happily take whatever label someone wants to throw at me for letting him believe that was really Santa, really his reindeer and really the North Pole. That smile, and that joy is so very much worth it

I blab too much, but, I wanted to add something, lol.

For us the holidays are not religious, so that very well may play a huge part in at least some of our beliefs. Of course we're not a religious family to begin with and on a more personal note I have a lot of doubts in that entire area. So for us to have people telling me I should be making the holidays about Jesus, God, or whatever else they deem more appropriate than Santa, is a bit of a slap in the face. I'm not about to tell others they can't, or rather shouldn't, make the holidays all about whatever they want. Because I think people should be free to celebrate, or not, the holidays for whatever reasons they think appropriate.
Christmas isn't about commercialism for us anymore than it is for someone who takes a more religious approach, either. Though I don't see anything wrong with those who do make it so. Believing in Santa, being excited about gifts-both giving and receiving, are not bad things, to me. They don't demean any other person's choices in ANY way. They're simply different choices we choose to make. That's how I look at the whole thing. Some families celebrate for religious reasons, some celebrate in a more commercial aspect, some celebrate the spirit of giving, some don't celebrate at all, and there are probably a thousand other ways if not more. No one way is "right" and no one way is "wrong". I have a hard time understanding why people can't accept that. Maybe I just think too much on the topic, and I certainly babble on too much about it, but, yeah. I don't get it, lol.

I understand the desire to debate aspect, we debate everything, as humans, lol. But on some topics I'm not so sure there's anything to debate. How can one prove which way is right, and which is wrong? More importantly how can we prove why?
Lots can, and have, given evidence as to why they believe celebrating Jesus' birth at this time of year makes absolutely no sense, or even total sense. Lots can, and have, given evidence as to why they believe celebrating Santa-or even the spirit of such, makes absolutely no sense, or total sense. But, it's all belief, opinion even. In the end it all really comes down to faith...a belief in something you can neither prove nor disprove because you cannot see it, hear it, or feel it.

I like faith in happiness. In this day and age if you can find your happy, you're doing a **** good job because there is an awful lot out there in this world ready to tear that happy right out from under you. If it takes a certain season, or holiday, to help some people find that happy, I am ALL for it. Everyone needs a little bit of Happy

This topic intrigues me....a lot.
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  #18  
December 8th, 2012, 08:50 PM
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I'm not going to tell anyone that they are wrong for lying to their kids. But people will tell me I'm doing it wrong for not playing Santa. That we are ruining the spirit and magic of Christmas. Their childhood is not going to be any fun. People will try to talk us out of it. I've never tried to talk anyone out of doing Santa as that is their choice even if I don't agree with it. I'm sure we are going to have a bunch of problems with them telling other kids he doesn't exist and then WE are the bad guys. But their kids, teachers, cashiers, random strangers, family, practically anyone can pretend he does exist and talk about him being real to our kids and we can't say anything about it. They can get mad for our kids not following their traditions, but we can't get mad for their kids not following our traditions because that makes us spoil sports. I know everyone talks about all these good reasons they do Santa like it being magical and fun and whatever, but in the end it is lying. You can't deny that. You are telling your kids something is true when you do not believe so, in fact you know the exact opposite is true. That's basically the definition of lying. This is what makes it different from other types of faith in my eyes. I don't think parents should tell their kids Jesus exists or whatever if they don't believe either. Other types of faith are also not so easily proved or disproved as Santa. Unless he does exist but he doesn't deliver presents?

But I personally am not a fan of faith in general. That's a topic for a different day.
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  #19  
December 9th, 2012, 12:33 AM
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I don't believe allowing my children to have hope in something not tangible, as lying.
But if it makes people feel better to call others liars, simply because they choose another belief system, by all means, have at it. To each their own, I say

You can call it whatever you want. But a hope for something you cannot see, touch, feel or hear, IS faith. Everyone has hope...everyone.
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  #20  
December 9th, 2012, 10:18 AM
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Brand me with a big fat "L" because I'm a liar. We do Santa and the tooth fairy and have had a blast.

If you don't do the Santa thing, its none of my business. If I do the Santa thing, its none of yours. And if it makes people feel better to call parents who play along with Santa "liars", its a big "whatever" in my book.
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