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Is it ethical to leave your child's father off the birth certificate?


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  #1  
February 27th, 2013, 06:33 AM
MindyRambo's Avatar Super Mommy
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If so is it always unethical? Do the variables matter?

I can see someone wanting to leave their child's father off the birth certificate if he's abusive, but isn't this a slippery slope?

So that basically anyone can get mad and decide to leave him off the bc?

Do you feel fathers get the short end of the stick a lot of the time? What about the kids who have no choice in the matter?
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  #2  
February 27th, 2013, 11:24 AM
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Whether's he's on or off the birth certificate doesn't really matter. The fact that he's left off doesn't keep him from excerting his parental rights. All he needs to do is prove paternity.
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  #3  
March 5th, 2013, 06:15 AM
MindyRambo's Avatar Super Mommy
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I realize he still has rights... The question is whether or not it's ethical to leave him off.
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  #4  
March 6th, 2013, 12:23 PM
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Once again I said it doesn't matter.... So it's neither ethical or unethical in my opinion - since it makes no difference & changes nothing.
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  #5  
March 25th, 2013, 08:37 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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I don't see it as an ethical issue. To be honest, a majority of the time it isn't the mother's choice anyway. My son's father is not on the birth certificat, not because I left him off but because he refused to sign. I realize that is a different issue entirely, but I wanted to make the point that the father being on the birth certificate is not entirely the mother's choice.

If a father is left off the birth certificate, he always, in every state, has the full capability to petition to be added. It often can require a paternity test, but in many states, any father not married to the child's mother either needs a paternity test or an affidavit of parentage before his name can be put on a birth certificate any way. It isn't as if the mother can not put the father's name on the birth certificate and then he has no possible way of being added. He just needs to take the initiative to put himself on it. And if he doesn't go through the fairly simple process, well then I honestly would assume it isn't that big of a deal to him anyway.
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  #6  
April 13th, 2013, 12:25 PM
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I don't think it's unethical. If he's not in the picture and isn't there to sign it, that's his problem, not mine. Usually if you get paternity done and a court order later, that's part of the agreement, to add his name.
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  #7  
April 13th, 2013, 04:05 PM
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I don't think this one is really about ethical or unethical. It really more of matter of what is going on. I left my daughter's father off because I knew in my heart (and right mind) he was never coming to us. I wanted the man who was going to love me and keep me to be able to adopt my daughter when we were ready.

Its more of what is needed for the family at the time.
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  #8  
April 13th, 2013, 04:05 PM
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I don't think this one is really about ethical or unethical. It really more of matter of what is going on. I left my daughter's father off because I knew in my heart (and right mind) he was never coming to us. I wanted the man who was going to love me and keep me to be able to adopt my daughter when we were ready.

Its more of what is needed for the family at the time.
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  #9  
April 17th, 2013, 09:06 AM
MindyRambo's Avatar Super Mommy
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Ok let me rephrase the OP, since I realize there are too many variables, so I will give a more specifics but still a hypothetical situation.

Mom and Dad plan a baby... 2 months before baby is born, they break up. No one is *really* at fault, it didn't work out (they probably shouldn't have planned the baby, but there you have it)

Dad continues to call mom to see if she needs anything throughout the remainder of pregnancy, and comes to the hospital for the birth. Mom let's him see baby for a few minutes, but doesn't want him to sign the birth certificate and makes him leave...

Is this unethical?
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  #10  
April 17th, 2013, 12:51 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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In the situation you describe, yes it is unethical. Breaking up does not mean the man is no longer the father.
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  #11  
April 23rd, 2013, 04:31 PM
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I only WISH I kept my ******* of an ex off the BC... and he wasn't that bad until after she was born.I wish I kept him off, that's for **** sure!
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