Log In Sign Up

Women with children Damaged goods?


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 26th, 2007, 11:48 AM
EmilysMommy04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Horseheads NY
Posts: 1,997
Send a message via AIM to EmilysMommy04
This is a little memo to guys. I was reading upon a forum and alot of men have said women with children, are damaged goods. Let me tell you about damaged goods. Damaged goods are guys who think women are damaged because of there children. These guys will always be boys. Nothing more. I have asked the question what about men with children, They seem to have come up with all kinds of excuses. If you are a boy who thinks like this you are nothing. A morbid poor excuse for a man. You think with the little head between your legs. There is nothing iin this world more beautiful then a mother and her children. Mothers are very special indeed. There children come above all . There love for there children is what makes them strong and beautiful. For those who think damaged goods you are sorely mistaken. For you are the damaged goods. You are so superficial you seem to think you are all that matters. You are not gods gift to women, but you are the misfortunes upon this earth. A person who thinks the world revolves around them. Well again you are sorely mistaken you can't see past your very own flaws to see the beautiful love of a women with children. For a mothers love is more powerful then any love on this earth. You are not a man but a simple myth of low self esteem. You want it all about you you you. Guess what cupcakes it is not about you. You are not worthy of the love from this mother or her children.Welcome to the real world this is what seperates the men from the boys. Just wondering what everyone thinks of people like this.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 26th, 2007, 11:52 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,780
There are a lot of stupid people in this world.

I know some guys who will NOT date a woman with kids. They don't want the responsibility. They also don't want the kid getting attached to them, and then what happens if the two break up?

If someone is not ready for kids, they are not going to want to date anyone that has kids. Fine, that's your choice. To go further than that and say that a single mom is "damaged goods" well that is just idiotic.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 26th, 2007, 11:54 AM
EmilysMommy04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Horseheads NY
Posts: 1,997
Send a message via AIM to EmilysMommy04
Quote:
There are a lot of stupid people in this world.

I know some guys who will NOT date a woman with kids. They don't want the responsibility. They also don't want the kid getting attached to them, and then what happens if the two break up?

If someone is not ready for kids, they are not going to want to date anyone that has kids. Fine, that's your choice. To go further than that and say that a single mom is "damaged goods" well that is just idiotic.[/b]

ITA It is idiotic. They wonder why they wont really see what love is because they cant see beyond themselves.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 26th, 2007, 11:59 AM
lschultz's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 341
Well guess that means he's the left over crap then because if it werent for women carrying the pregnancy men wouldnt exist. Guess his mama is damaged goods too?
__________________
mama to


Kayden Alaina Brian
Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 26th, 2007, 12:01 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
I was reading upon a forum and alot of men have said women with children, are damaged goods. Just wondering what everyone thinks of people like this.[/b]
I found this article you might found interesting. Here's a piece of it:

"Why is it acceptable for men to sleep around but not women?"
"Well," I said, "that's easy. It's because women make it acceptable. We perpetuate the problem. If we rejected men based on their sexual promiscuity, believe me, either men wouldn't be mutts, or they would lie about how many people they've slept with to maintain a committed relationship. Nevertheless, if we want men to feel that it's unacceptable to bed a bevy of beauties, then we must develop a disgust for it."

As all the women nodded their heads in unison and we continued discussing the D.G. topic, I realized something else: There are indeed many women who view guys as damaged goods, just in different ways. Most guys are simple in their summary of a woman: If she has slept around, she's loose and not worthy of long-term commitment.


Then for fun, an article: Can Men Be Considered Damaged Goods?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No matter what, this issue is about respect and the lack of it to the people who are labelled damaged.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 26th, 2007, 12:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,780
Where is this "debate"? I'm sure many moms would have a thing or two to add to it.

Quote:
Quote:
I was reading upon a forum and alot of men have said women with children, are damaged goods. Just wondering what everyone thinks of people like this.[/b]
I found this article you might found interesting. Here's a piece of it:

"Why is it acceptable for men to sleep around but not women?"
"Well," I said, "that's easy. It's because women make it acceptable. We perpetuate the problem. If we rejected men based on their sexual promiscuity, believe me, either men wouldn't be mutts, or they would lie about how many people they've slept with to maintain a committed relationship. Nevertheless, if we want men to feel that it's unacceptable to bed a bevy of beauties, then we must develop a disgust for it."

As all the women nodded their heads in unison and we continued discussing the D.G. topic, I realized something else: There are indeed many women who view guys as damaged goods, just in different ways. Most guys are simple in their summary of a woman: If she has slept around, she's loose and not worthy of long-term commitment.


Then for fun, an article: Can Men Be Considered Damaged Goods?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No matter what, this issue is about respect and the lack of it to the people who are labelled damaged.
[/b]
I don't think it's about the fact that a woman with a child has (obviously) slept with someone else. Most people are not virgins these days.

I think it has more to do with the fact that some men don't want to help take care of someone else's kid. Or even their own, in some cases. But someone else's, even less.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 26th, 2007, 12:12 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Where is this "debate"? I'm sure many moms would have a thing or two to add to it.

Quote:
Quote:
I was reading upon a forum and alot of men have said women with children, are damaged goods. Just wondering what everyone thinks of people like this.[/b]
I found this article you might found interesting. Here's a piece of it:

"Why is it acceptable for men to sleep around but not women?"
"Well," I said, "that's easy. It's because women make it acceptable. We perpetuate the problem. If we rejected men based on their sexual promiscuity, believe me, either men wouldn't be mutts, or they would lie about how many people they've slept with to maintain a committed relationship. Nevertheless, if we want men to feel that it's unacceptable to bed a bevy of beauties, then we must develop a disgust for it."

As all the women nodded their heads in unison and we continued discussing the D.G. topic, I realized something else: There are indeed many women who view guys as damaged goods, just in different ways. Most guys are simple in their summary of a woman: If she has slept around, she's loose and not worthy of long-term commitment.


Then for fun, an article: Can Men Be Considered Damaged Goods?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No matter what, this issue is about respect and the lack of it to the people who are labelled damaged.
[/b]
I don't think it's about the fact that a woman with a child has (obviously) slept with someone else. Most people are not virgins these days.

I think it has more to do with the fact that some men don't want to help take care of someone else's kid. Or even their own, in some cases. But someone else's, even less.
[/b]
Ok.. then you don't have read the article. I'm just posting it for interest sake. And I don't think it takes away from my point this issue is about respect and the lack of it to the people who are labelled damaged.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
April 26th, 2007, 12:32 PM
eash's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,969
I would never say that women with children are damaged goods but I can fully understand why a man would not want to date and marry a woman with a child that is not his. The responsibility of raising someone elses child is immense and some men would rather not do that - that is their perogative. Would you really want a man to be involved with you that isn't 100% invested in the well being of your child?
Reply With Quote
  #9  
April 26th, 2007, 01:26 PM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mallorca (Spain)
Posts: 8,652
My son is from a previous relationship and he was 14 months old when I started dating DH.His sperm doner has nothing to do with him (never has),so my husband was instantly "daddy" and I totally admire that because at the time,my husband was only 21..so he could have decided that he didnt want all that at just 21 years old,yet he stayed with me and loved my son from the start.
His mom did say I was "damaged goods" though,she tried her best to convince him to leave me because I obviosly wasnt a virgin and she didnt want him having to support a child that wasnt his at such a young age..she also worried about what would happen if the relationship didnt work out etc
I can actually see why his mother didnt accept me at first..I dont blame her.Her son was young and should have been having fun,and if he did decide to have a serious relationship,she wanted it to be a traditional one where first comes loves,then comes marriage etc.She didnt want him to start off a relationship with a kid and a girl who had already lived with someone else...
As a mother,I can understand her.
But,when men refer to women who have children as damaged goods,it makes my blood boil.To me they cant be reffered to as men,they are big boys who fear responsability and competition (its not about being someones first,its about being someones best!) .Infact,they dont have to reject a woman who has a child, because a woman like that has no interest in an imature ***** like that anyway
I knew a couple of guys (a few years back) that claimed that would never date a woman who has a kid/s because her vagina would be to loose and stretched and her boobs would be saggy They said they prefered a good tight girl with everything in its place...
I pity those guys,and they make me sick at the same time This post would be deleted if I said all I want to say on the subject..so lets just say that guys like that should be hung by their privates
__________________


Thank you SO much for my new siggy Julia (Julka)!




Reply With Quote
  #10  
April 26th, 2007, 01:34 PM
EmilysMommy04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Horseheads NY
Posts: 1,997
Send a message via AIM to EmilysMommy04
Quote:
My son is from a previous relationship and he was 14 months old when I started dating DH.His sperm doner has nothing to do with him (never has),so my husband was instantly "daddy" and I totally admire that because at the time,my husband was only 21..so he could have decided that he didnt want all that at just 21 years old,yet he stayed with me and loved my son from the start.
His mom did say I was "damaged goods" though,she tried her best to convince him to leave me because I obviosly wasnt a virgin and she didnt want him having to support a child that wasnt his at such a young age..she also worried about what would happen if the relationship didnt work out etc
I can actually see why his mother didnt accept me at first..I dont blame her.Her son was young and should have been having fun,and if he did decide to have a serious relationship,she wanted it to be a traditional one where first comes loves,then comes marriage etc.She didnt want him to start off a relationship with a kid and a girl who had already lived with someone else...
As a mother,I can understand her.
But,when men refer to women who have children as damaged goods,it makes my blood boil.To me they cant be reffered to as men,they are big boys who fear responsability and competition (its not about being someones first,its about being someones best!) .Infact,they dont have to reject a woman who has a child, because a woman like that has no interest in an imature ***** like that anyway
I knew a couple of guys (a few years back) that claimed that would never date a woman who has a kid/s because her vagina would be to loose and stretched and her boobs would be saggy They said they prefered a good tight girl with everything in its place...
I pity those guys,and they make me sick at the same time This post would be deleted if I said all I want to say on the subject..so lets just say that guys like that should be hung by their privates [/b]
All I can say Is lol. You are so right. As for the tightness they seek and perkiness to.. that will go away with age. Funny thing is Im not sagging nor stretched. I have had a child. Its kinda funny how men think stupid things like that. They are missing out. Moms do it best lol.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 26th, 2007, 01:34 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,780
Before I had a child, I would NOT have gotten involved with someone who had a child (that lived with them).

Why? Because I wanted to spend my evenings going out and having fun, not at home with SO and his children. I wanted to go out to dance clubs, play pool, etc, not stay home and watch cartoons every night. I wanted to have sex whenever we felt like it, not have to wait for the kids to fall asleep. Etc. I can competely understand why someone would not want to date a person with kids. It does have a lot to do with maturity and what your interests are and how you want to spend your time.

But saying they are damaged goods is rude and insulting.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #13  
April 26th, 2007, 04:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,925
Eh it makes me laugh to be honest.

I fully respect a man who doesn't want to be with a women who has children. I would much rather they admit it then just sleep with a women,get close to her and the child,then just leave when they have had there fun.

If someone was to call me damaged goods I would just let it roll of my back,it says everything about them and nothing about me.
__________________
Mum to Ross, Elliot, Jack, Jasmine and Evie
Reply With Quote
  #14  
April 26th, 2007, 05:24 PM
rdhdtrue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 5,202
Send a message via Yahoo to rdhdtrue
Name calling has never impressed me ... just shows how insecure that person is.
__________________
Miss Dani has Hurler's Syndrome (MPS1) and had a Bone Marrow Transplant 11/09/2006. Check out how she is doing here http://danicaboni.blogspot.com
Reply With Quote
  #15  
April 26th, 2007, 05:39 PM
ReedsMama06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Missouri
Posts: 3,657
Send a message via MSN to ReedsMama06 Send a message via Yahoo to ReedsMama06
well, I respect a man not wanting to date a woman with children. Most guys want to start a family with children on their own terms... and nine months of pregnancy to me is God's "Prep time" he gives to us. Name calling is another story entirely. They are not "damaged Goods" What the HECK??? that is so rude. But unfortunately that is such a common term that men use it without thinking alot of the time.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
April 26th, 2007, 11:46 PM
*kyle*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 5,117
I asked DH this question, and his answer was:

"Women with kids have extra baggage, but they're not damaged."

I think that sums up my feelings on the matter, too!
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #17  
April 27th, 2007, 04:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,204
I just had to laugh at this, not because it's funny to think this way, but because my first thought was "Wow, then I am seriously bad off! LOL!"

I was asked once if something happened to Dh if I would remarry. The thought was almost hysterical to me!!! What man would marry a woman with 9 children trailing behind her, skirts down to her ankles, and strong religious convictions! LOL!
__________________
~Lisa, homebirthing, homeschooling , homesteading mama. Married to my beloved for 19 years, raising a big brood of children on a little farm in Southern Michigan.

Mama to:
Nick, 18
Abby, 16
Gabe, 14
Isaac, 12
Mary-Kate, 11
Sam, 9
Henry, 8
Molly, 7
Mark, 5
Greta, 4
Cecilia,2
Josephine,1
Baby due Jan. 2014
Reply With Quote
  #18  
April 27th, 2007, 05:00 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Quote:
I asked DH this question, and his answer was:

"Women with kids have extra baggage, but they're not damaged."

I think that sums up my feelings on the matter, too![/b]
I don't consider my child to be "baggage"

I know there are men who won't date me because I have children, and it doesn't bother me. Those are not the kind of men who I want to be around my daughter anyways. However this "damaged good" is currently beating away 3 men with a stick so I don't think it's an across the board opinion
__________________
Those who love me know how to reach me...it's been real ladies, peace and love!!
Reply With Quote
  #19  
April 27th, 2007, 05:12 AM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Annapolis, MD
Posts: 3,759
Send a message via AIM to lotus86 Send a message via Yahoo to lotus86
Quote:
Quote:
I asked DH this question, and his answer was:

"Women with kids have extra baggage, but they're not damaged."

I think that sums up my feelings on the matter, too![/b]
I don't consider my child to be "baggage"

I know there are men who won't date me because I have children, and it doesn't bother me. Those are not the kind of men who I want to be around my daughter anyways. However this "damaged good" is currently beating away 3 men with a stick so I don't think it's an across the board opinion
[/b]
Uh oh, sounds like Blondie's getting her groove back
__________________
<div align="center"><div align='center'></div><div align="center"></div></div>
Reply With Quote
  #20  
April 27th, 2007, 05:38 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I asked DH this question, and his answer was:

"Women with kids have extra baggage, but they're not damaged."

I think that sums up my feelings on the matter, too![/b]
I don't consider my child to be "baggage"

I know there are men who won't date me because I have children, and it doesn't bother me. Those are not the kind of men who I want to be around my daughter anyways. However this "damaged good" is currently beating away 3 men with a stick so I don't think it's an across the board opinion
[/b]
Uh oh, sounds like Blondie's getting her groove back
[/b]

Bow Bow chicka bow bow (that was supposed to insinuate porn music )
__________________
Those who love me know how to reach me...it's been real ladies, peace and love!!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:08 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0