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  #1  
April 26th, 2007, 01:06 PM
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What does fatherhood mean, in your family? What do you think it is a dad's job to do?

Does Dad do his equal amount of childcare (feeding, bathing, help with homework, etc), in your household? Or does mom do most of the childcare and dad spends time with the kids only on weekends?
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  #2  
April 26th, 2007, 01:07 PM
jodi16ss's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My husband and I are equal. While he does tend to always mow the grass, it because he wishes to do so. We are both providers for eachother and our children.. emotionally/financially, etc.
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  #3  
April 26th, 2007, 01:14 PM
bubblesispreggers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We share the childcare responsibilities. When he is home we take turns feeding and diapering the baby. Of course, when he is at work those things fall to me.
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  #4  
April 26th, 2007, 01:14 PM
Pure Innocence
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My dh is just as important to Kailey as I, but I basically raise her on my own. Dh works a lot and goes to school and I'm a SAHM and SAHA, so.....I do everything. He spends about an hour or so a night just hanging out with us. He'd do more, but time and financial reasons do not allow it. Because of this, Kailey is more attatched to me than my husband....and it's REALLY bad!
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  #5  
April 26th, 2007, 01:19 PM
eash's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
My dh is just as important to Kailey as I, but I basically raise her on my own. Dh works a lot and goes to school and I'm a SAHM and SAHA, so.....I do everything. He spends about an hour or so a night just hanging out with us. He'd do more, but time and financial reasons do not allow it. Because of this, Kailey is more attatched to me than my husband....and it's REALLY bad![/b]
Just curious what a SAHA is?
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  #6  
April 26th, 2007, 01:20 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
What does fatherhood mean, in your family? What do you think it is a dad's job to do?

Does Dad do his equal amount of childcare (feeding, bathing, help with homework, etc), in your household? Or does mom do most of the childcare and dad spends time with the kids only on weekends?[/b]
I've been stratching my head at this post.. how do I type out in a few phrases what the role of fatherhood is? I couldn't do it for motherhood either. This is something too long to type out. I read some articles in the hopes of copying parts here and there but it's still not going to do it justice.

Fatherhood (and marriage) is a partnership so deep that is part of influencing a child for the rest of it's life. There are emotional, verbal, financial and physical strengths of both mom and dad with the other helping each other in all areas... Then there is the quality aspect that benefits the child. Just because I've choosen to stay at home while DH works, doesn't mean there will be less of a bond, like any working mom could agree with. A father should be able to do everything a mom can do and a mom should be able to do everything a dad can do..

I'm going to have to come back to this.
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  #7  
April 26th, 2007, 01:21 PM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
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Quote:
My husband and I are equal. While he does tend to always mow the grass, it because he wishes to do so. We are both providers for eachother and our children.. emotionally/financially, etc.[/b]
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  #8  
April 26th, 2007, 01:22 PM
~*Dina*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think when it comes to fatherhood, we're equal. I do think I do more for our youngest Hannah, but thats because she's a baby and I have that mentality that he cant do as good of a job w/her as I can.
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  #9  
April 26th, 2007, 01:28 PM
Pure Innocence
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Quote:
Quote:
My dh is just as important to Kailey as I, but I basically raise her on my own. Dh works a lot and goes to school and I'm a SAHM and SAHA, so.....I do everything. He spends about an hour or so a night just hanging out with us. He'd do more, but time and financial reasons do not allow it. Because of this, Kailey is more attatched to me than my husband....and it's REALLY bad![/b]
Just curious what a SAHA is?
[/b]
Stay At Home Aunt, I don't let my sister put her in daycare...LOL! She just turned one on April 13th
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  #10  
April 26th, 2007, 01:31 PM
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The role of a father is the same as the mother, to provide emotional and financial (in most cases) support. (Some fathers are stay at home dads and don't earn money and that's great too). A father takes part in childcare as much as he can as I know some fathers don't have as much time at home as mom does. A father shows an active interest in his children's lives. A father uses appropriate guidance and discipline strategies to lovingly teach their child right from wrong and about life.

It's hard to sum that up! Like I said though, the role of a father is the same as a mother it just may vary from family to family in how it is played out.
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  #11  
April 26th, 2007, 01:41 PM
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When I think Dad, I think, the "fun" parent. The guy who takes the kids fishing or to a fair. The guy who plays with them when mommy needs a break. The provider. The guy who buys them stuff.

And when I think Mom, I think, the parent who does most of the actual parenting tasks (feed, clothe, comfort, make sure homework is done, etc).
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  #12  
April 26th, 2007, 01:48 PM
irishxrose
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Jason and I are equal when it comes to parenting. My son is both a mama's boy and a daddy's boy. We both do the same amount of work, although lately with finals coming up, I haven't been able to spend the time I want with my son.
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  #13  
April 26th, 2007, 01:50 PM
mommyofdani's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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^SCGirl, that is how I grew up

But in my household, Adam shares everything. One day, I am giving Dani a bath, he is doing dishes, I discipline, and he puts her to bed. The next day, it is completely reversed. In our household, Adam enjoys and realizes the importance of us sharing our roles. Thankfully lol
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  #14  
April 26th, 2007, 01:51 PM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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In our household, parenting our DD is a two-way street. We both created her, and she is just as much his and she is mine. He was involved in all the planning during my pregnancy, and he continues to be now that DD is born (and getting so old so fast ) Even when I was BFing he would wake up in the night with me to rub my neck and try to help me to get her latched and bring me whatever I needed Now that we FF he cleans, makes and feeds bottles anytime I need him to. He changes diapers, he does laundry, etc etc. In the rare occurence we don't see eye to eye, I always discuss that with him privately later on and don't undermine his job as a parent. We are truly equals, because I want Ryleigh to grow up and see that both parents should have equal roles.

Doh! Edited to fix a very redundant sentence
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  #15  
April 26th, 2007, 01:53 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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When Chris is home we do equal amounts of work in both parenting and household chores. When he's gone it all falls on me. He's gone a lot, so naturally I do more with our children. But when he's home you'd never know it.
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  #16  
April 26th, 2007, 02:13 PM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OK, so I thought more about this and I guess at this point we are not 100% equal since I do the parenting during the day (aside from the 2 half days I am at school) while my DF is working to support us. Once I go to work as well, then I am confident we will be more equal in our parenting duties.
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  #18  
April 26th, 2007, 07:06 PM
*kyle*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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To me, a father is like the third point of the triangle - utterly necessary but yet no more nor less than the other points.

I married my hubby in large part because I knew that he would be an awesome father. Here's the thing - he didn't have a father, never even met the guy. His mom had him really young and his sperm donor father just split. But I see the wonderful parenting he received from his mother, grandma, grandpa, aunts and uncles... the guy had like 8 parents! Family is #1 for him. He knows what it was like to have that void in his life and uses that to guide his expectations of himself when he has his own. He is passionate about being a father, and he loves to talk about parenting and what-if situations... (now if only he'd give me the green light to TTC already!! Stupid finances...)

Anyway, to me the ideal father is foundational to a child's life. He supports, encourages, cheers you on, picks you up when you fall, listens, hugs, teaches... when you do something wrong he's not angry, he's disappointed in you, because he just knows you can do so much better... he gives generously of his time and you always know he not only loves you, he also likes who you are.

Keep in mind these are my ideals, not my actual experiences with my own father...
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  #19  
April 27th, 2007, 04:55 AM
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In our home, we share equil dignity, yet very different roles.

My husband is the provider, diciplinarian, and head of our household. He works out in the world.

I am the nurturer, primary educater and caregiver, and heart of our household. I make our home a respite from the world.
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