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  #1  
April 26th, 2007, 06:18 PM
Caeden'sMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Okay, so here's something i've been thinking about today. I've always assumed that when you divorce, you go back to your maiden name. But i was talking to my mom, and she pointed out a person she knows who just kept her married name when she divorced, and pointed out that you DO have the choice. That got me thinking... with having children, that might actually make more sense, so you don't have two last names in your one family.

So, what do you guys think? Would it be odd to just keep your ex husband's name after divorcing? Or does it actually make sense?
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  #2  
April 26th, 2007, 06:21 PM
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Judges look better on you if you keep the last name your children have. It is always not about your choice but the best interest of the children.
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  #3  
April 26th, 2007, 06:22 PM
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I would keep his last name I actually think it goes better with my first. I don't see any problem with it and it really would be easier for my DD.
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  #4  
April 26th, 2007, 06:23 PM
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I would keep dh's name. I want the same last name as my kids. If I remarried tho, I would take my new dh's name.
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  #5  
April 26th, 2007, 06:27 PM
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I dont' think it matters. And I really don't think it's better or worse for the kids whether you have the same last name or not. It's a name. My mom kept my dad's last name and then changed after she remarried. I'd probably keep my dh's last name because I'd like to have the same name as my kids, but it's not a big deal to me.

Use w/e name you want.
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  #6  
April 26th, 2007, 06:31 PM
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Quote:
Judges look better on you if you keep the last name your children have. It is always not about your choice but the best interest of the children.[/b]
That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard today. Why would changing your name have any bearing on custody procedings? Pleeeeenty of women, in fact MOST women, go back to their maiden name when they divorce.

And to answer the OP, I'd change it back, but leave my daughter's alone.
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  #7  
April 26th, 2007, 06:38 PM
irishxrose
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Well... my mom's been married three times, and she kept going back to her maiden name. With this last marriage, she finally decided to go back into our family history and pick a last name from there instead of taking on my step-dad's name. It's a very unique last name, and honestly if I ever divorced Jason, I would not go back to my maiden name but instead go with the name my mom chose.

But anyway... I think it's fine whatever name the woman chooses. I just know for ME, that I wouldn't want to continue sharing a name with a man I just divorced. Wouldn't seem right to me.
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  #8  
April 26th, 2007, 06:56 PM
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To save confusion in schools, etc I would keep DHs name. I always hated explaining why my mom had a different last name than me to friends etc.
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  #9  
April 26th, 2007, 07:02 PM
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I honestly don't see how it is such a big deal and how it would affect a custody dispute I'm not sure what I would do as I have never been in that situation, but I think there are many factors that are more important in a divorce than if you choose to go back to your maiden name.
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  #10  
April 26th, 2007, 07:27 PM
Caeden&#39;sMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I honestly don't see how it is such a big deal and how it would affect a custody dispute I'm not sure what I would do as I have never been in that situation, but I think there are many factors that are more important in a divorce than if you choose to go back to your maiden name.[/b]
Lol... Well obviously! I'm not saying this is my ONLY or BIGGEST concern!

Was just curious people's opinions, since i'd never thought of keeping the husband's name in the event of a divorce. But after thinking about it, it's actually making more sense to me, since i have our son who will have my husband's name obviously. Also, doesn't help that i HATE my maiden name, but love my married name... lol. But i didn't know if it would seem weird or whatever.

So yeah... thanks everyone for your opinions!
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  #11  
April 26th, 2007, 07:35 PM
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I would probably keep my DH's name. Oh heck, I just might not use his or my maiden name and make up a new one! Just kidding!
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  #12  
April 26th, 2007, 07:41 PM
donomama
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Since I have kids, I would keep my DH's name. If it happened before kids, I would go back to my maiden. If I remarried, I don't know what I would do, because I wouldn't want my kids to feel like they didn't fit in.
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  #13  
April 26th, 2007, 07:42 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Judges look better on you if you keep the last name your children have. It is always not about your choice but the best interest of the children.[/b]
That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard today. Why would changing your name have any bearing on custody procedings? Pleeeeenty of women, in fact MOST women, go back to their maiden name when they divorce.

And to answer the OP, I'd change it back, but leave my daughter's alone.
[/b]
It happened to my sister .... personally wanted to keep the same last name as my sons. And was really torn when I remarried whether to take his name or keep my son's last name.
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  #14  
April 26th, 2007, 07:44 PM
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Everyone I know keeps their husbands name. Why? When I changed my last name to his I wasn't borrowing it. I was legally changing my name to his. It's my last name now. I'm not going to change it back just because we got divorce. I'm known as Bethany M. now not Bethany E.
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  #15  
April 27th, 2007, 06:38 AM
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When I got divorced, we had no kids...I kept his name. That was my name, I didn't feel I needed to go through the hassle of changing it back. Especially since I figured I'd get married again anyway and would be changing it eventually. So, why do it more often than necessary. Really though...it had more to do with hassle than anything else. Everyone knew me by that name and I guess I just didn't see it as a big deal.
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  #16  
April 27th, 2007, 07:17 AM
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Personally, id change my name back. I mean I am no longer married to the person, I wouldnt really want his last name as he probably wouldnt want me having his last name. A friend of mine is getting divorced and his ex is keeping his last name. He is livid about this. She had many affairs etc and doesnt think its really right for her to have a family name when she ruined that family.

Also, if I decide to get remarried I wouldnt want to have my ex's last name.
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  #17  
April 27th, 2007, 07:31 AM
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Quote:
Personally, id change my name back. I mean I am no longer married to the person, I wouldnt really want his last name as he probably wouldnt want me having his last name. A friend of mine is getting divorced and his ex is keeping his last name. He is livid about this. She had many affairs etc and doesnt think its really right for her to have a family name when she ruined that family.

Also, if I decide to get remarried I wouldnt want to have my ex's last name.[/b]

This what irks me. I didn't borrow Chris's name. I legally changed my name to another last name. It is no longer just his last name. It is my last name too.
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  #18  
April 27th, 2007, 07:43 AM
::er!ca::'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would go back to my maiden name. I took my DH's name when we got married because we were united together as one. If we get a divorce, there would no longer be that union. What is the point of me having a man's last name, if he is not my husband?

Obviously Brinlee would keep her last name, that would be so silly to change a kids last name because I divorced her father.

If I were to get divorced, and re-married.... it would be so weird to have Erica B _x-DH's lastname_ on the invitation. KWIM?

I would definitely go back to my maiden name.

**I didn't borrow DH's name, I definitely don't feel that way. I just don't feel like I should have his family name, when we are no longer united in marriage.

It has nothing to do with "borrowing" a name.
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  #19  
April 27th, 2007, 11:44 AM
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When my parents were divorcing my little brother (who was about 6) asked what her last name would be. She asked him why and he said "Cause if it is different than mine we wont be family any more." So she decided that it would be best to keep her married name for her childrens sake.
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