Log In Sign Up

What would you do?


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 28th, 2007, 07:04 PM
CJMOM209
Guest
Posts: n/a
What would you do if you found another woman's phone number on your phone bill (from one night) and your DH claimed that her husband was the one who called-1 phone call and 4 text messages-all in one evening . And then you started hearing rumors that your DH was cheating?

This is my nightmare as of now!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 28th, 2007, 07:17 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,373
(((HUGS)))
If it were me, I would call her. You know its a lie if the stories don't match up! OMG! I am so sorry!

Oh yeah, I would also punch DH in the junk.
__________________
Wife, Mother of 4, Homeschooling, and wine drinking.


Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 28th, 2007, 07:20 PM
Sugar+Spicex3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,010
First, I want to say I know what you're going through and ((((HUGS)))).

Second, if this is the only evidence you have, its not enough to prove infidelity. It very well could have been her husband contacting your's. Don't make a big deal about it to your husband (hard, I know). It will just cause unnecessary problems and arguments at this point. I don't suggest confronting the possible 'other woman' right now. If there's nothing going on, it will just make you look like a paranoid wife.

I guess the main question is... Do you trust your husband and believe what he says? You don't have to answer publicly, just to yourself. Has he changed recently? Again, you can just answer to yourself. There are several behavior changes a man does when he has someone on the side.

I hope that the contact is innocent. Infidelity hurts deep and it takes years & a whole lot of hard work for a marriage to recover.
__________________
<div align="center">

</div>
Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 28th, 2007, 07:21 PM
CJMOM209
Guest
Posts: n/a
I don't really know her, but I know of her considering what a small town this is. I'm just so torn because I don't want to accuse him if it's not true, but I don't want to be an idiot either and ignore everything. The funny thing the phone call was two months ago, but of course the phone bill just arrived recently. However, I just hear the rumor today! Makes for a sucky weekend....and of course my DH is defensive saying that I don't trust him and saying it was her husband that called her, not him!!! Ahhhh!!!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 28th, 2007, 07:22 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,657
I'd call the husband and see If he knew your DH. Then If they where out on that night. If not he knows she's cheating too.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 28th, 2007, 07:24 PM
CJMOM209
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
First, I want to say I know what you're going through and ((((HUGS)))).

Second, if this is the only evidence you have, its not enough to prove infidelity. It very well could have been her husband contacting your's. Don't make a big deal about it to your husband (hard, I know). It will just cause unnecessary problems and arguments at this point. I don't suggest confronting the possible 'other woman' either. If there's nothing going on, it will just make you look like a paranoid wife.

I guess the main question is... Do you trust your husband and believe what he says? You don't have to answer publicly, just to yourself. Has he changed recently? Again, you can just answer to yourself. There are several behavior changes a man does when he has someone on the side.

I hope that the contact is innocent. Infidelity hurts deep and it takes years & a whole lot of hard work for a marriage to recover.[/b]

To be honest our marriage is rocky right now and I sometimes feel like I don't make him happy which adds to this whole issue. She is in the business field (like he is) and I'm "just a teacher" to my DH.

Quote:
I'd call the husband and see If he knew your DH. Then If they where out on that night. If not he knows she's cheating too.[/b]
Hmm...good idea...actually I might see the husband at a Chamber of Commerce event on Weds. night. It's just so hard not to confront DH about this....which I have about the phone call, but not the rumor that I heard.
I should have added this also: The night of the phone calls, my husband went to a business event (where she and her husband supposedly were), well he lied about leaving that event and then going to the bar afterwards...he said that the husband called to see if he wanted to go to the bar. I know they went to the bar around 8 because I found the receipt (which is also how I found out about him going there in the first place), but the phone calls were around 9:30 according to the bill. See why I am suspicious? And my DH just says I'm being pycho...what if the situation were reversed? But the rest of the phone bill didn't reveal any more calls from her number the entire rest of the month....ahhh this is so confusing!!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 28th, 2007, 07:33 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,373
In my experience of being cheated on, one thing I learned was to TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!! If you are sensing something is wrong, then it probably is. For me, everytime that little voice in my head was saying "these things are not adding up", I was right. Second, if the man is being over defensive and deflecting the blame onto you, that is a red flag as well. I would call the husband and ask if they had gone out that night and if he had called and text messaged, in my experience, men are not really big on text messaging one another. I would get to the bottom of it ASAP. Otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy.
__________________
Wife, Mother of 4, Homeschooling, and wine drinking.


Reply With Quote
  #8  
April 28th, 2007, 07:37 PM
CJMOM209
Guest
Posts: n/a
Oh trust me I'm a mess....but I'm just going to have to let it go for tonight to avoid a big fight. It's just funny how tonight I hear this rumor.... I'm sick to my stomache over it, but sometimes these things are hard to prove without making an a** out of yourself. But at the same time, I just really need to know...do you guys understand, I feel like I'm babbling! LOL! I'm just glad my son isn't here while I'm so upset (staying the night with Grandma and Grandpa).
Reply With Quote
  #9  
April 28th, 2007, 07:38 PM
Tanya G's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Quebec
Posts: 3,929
i've gotta agree. if he was innocent he would have more patience and not say you are psycho. That right there makes me supsicious, he wants you to feel YOU are crazy and the one doing somethign wrong. I've never cheated on a man, and if a man I loved came to me and said he thought I had, I would be very reassuring that I would never do such a thing and try and make him feel as loved as I could so he could see that my love for him would never allow me to do such a thing, I would NOT call him psycho. But I dont know your husband.
__________________

Thank you Rawisner for the Siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #10  
April 28th, 2007, 07:38 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 39,051
I agree with Stacey about trusting your instincts. Also try contacting you cell phone company to see if you can get a copy of the text messages. My friend had the same problem with her husband. She was able to get copies of the texts and read them for herself. He was cheating!

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I think you should definitely confront the entire situation or otherwise it will just eat away at you.
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 28th, 2007, 07:41 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,373
Quote:
Oh trust me I'm a mess....but I'm just going to have to let it go for tonight to avoid a big fight. It's just funny how tonight I hear this rumor.... I'm sick to my stomache over it, but sometimes these things are hard to prove without making an a** out of yourself. But at the same time, I just really need to know...do you guys understand, I feel like I'm babbling! LOL! I'm just glad my son isn't here while I'm so upset (staying the night with Grandma and Grandpa).[/b]
Was the rumor from a reliable source? I know rumor and reliable are oxymorons, but you know what I mean. I know that physically ill feeling you are going through, I am familiar. Are the text messages gone?
__________________
Wife, Mother of 4, Homeschooling, and wine drinking.


Reply With Quote
  #12  
April 28th, 2007, 07:45 PM
CJMOM209
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
I agree with Stacey about trusting your instincts. Also try contacting you cell phone company to see if you can get a copy of the text messages. My friend had the same problem with her husband. She was able to get copies of the texts and read them for herself. He was cheating!

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I think you should definitely confront the entire situation or otherwise it will just eat away at you.[/b]
How did she do that? That sounds like a great idea!

Quote:
Quote:
Oh trust me I'm a mess....but I'm just going to have to let it go for tonight to avoid a big fight. It's just funny how tonight I hear this rumor.... I'm sick to my stomache over it, but sometimes these things are hard to prove without making an a** out of yourself. But at the same time, I just really need to know...do you guys understand, I feel like I'm babbling! LOL! I'm just glad my son isn't here while I'm so upset (staying the night with Grandma and Grandpa).[/b]
Was the rumor from a reliable source? I know rumor and reliable are oxymorons, but you know what I mean. I know that physically ill feeling you are going through, I am familiar. Are the text messages gone?
[/b]

His best friend's fiance told me tonight...she said that she had heard it from someone who had heard it from someone else, but this person said that he had said it at a Sox's game and he's never been to a Sox's game...so that's where I just don't know. But she and I are friends and I actually told her about this number on our bill and then she said "I have to tell you something". The actual texts I don't have, but the bill shows the number that was texted or had sent texts.

Quote:
Quote:
Oh trust me I'm a mess....but I'm just going to have to let it go for tonight to avoid a big fight. It's just funny how tonight I hear this rumor.... I'm sick to my stomache over it, but sometimes these things are hard to prove without making an a** out of yourself. But at the same time, I just really need to know...do you guys understand, I feel like I'm babbling! LOL! I'm just glad my son isn't here while I'm so upset (staying the night with Grandma and Grandpa).[/b]
Was the rumor from a reliable source? I know rumor and reliable are oxymorons, but you know what I mean. I know that physically ill feeling you are going through, I am familiar. Are the text messages gone?
[/b]

I've been cheated on before too, but it was just a boyfriend....this will devestate me. I'm kind of a naturally suspicious person too because I've been so screwed over in the past.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
April 28th, 2007, 07:49 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 39,051
Quote:
Quote:
I agree with Stacey about trusting your instincts. Also try contacting you cell phone company to see if you can get a copy of the text messages. My friend had the same problem with her husband. She was able to get copies of the texts and read them for herself. He was cheating!

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I think you should definitely confront the entire situation or otherwise it will just eat away at you.[/b]
How did she do that? That sounds like a great idea!

Quote:
<div class='quotemain'>
Oh trust me I'm a mess....but I'm just going to have to let it go for tonight to avoid a big fight. It's just funny how tonight I hear this rumor.... I'm sick to my stomache over it, but sometimes these things are hard to prove without making an a** out of yourself. But at the same time, I just really need to know...do you guys understand, I feel like I'm babbling! LOL! I'm just glad my son isn't here while I'm so upset (staying the night with Grandma and Grandpa).[/b]
Was the rumor from a reliable source? I know rumor and reliable are oxymorons, but you know what I mean. I know that physically ill feeling you are going through, I am familiar. Are the text messages gone?
[/b]

His best friend's fiance told me tonight...she said that she had heard it from someone who had heard it from someone else, but this person said that he had said it at a Sox's game and he's never been to a Sox's game...so that's where I just don't know. But she and I are friends and I actually told her about this number on our bill and then she said "I have to tell you something". The actual texts I don't have, but the bill shows the number that was texted or had sent texts.

Quote:
Quote:
Oh trust me I'm a mess....but I'm just going to have to let it go for tonight to avoid a big fight. It's just funny how tonight I hear this rumor.... I'm sick to my stomache over it, but sometimes these things are hard to prove without making an a** out of yourself. But at the same time, I just really need to know...do you guys understand, I feel like I'm babbling! LOL! I'm just glad my son isn't here while I'm so upset (staying the night with Grandma and Grandpa).[/b]
Was the rumor from a reliable source? I know rumor and reliable are oxymorons, but you know what I mean. I know that physically ill feeling you are going through, I am familiar. Are the text messages gone?
[/b]

I've been cheated on before too, but it was just a boyfriend....this will devestate me. I'm kind of a naturally suspicious person too because I've been so screwed over in the past.
[/b][/quote]


She just called the company and said she needed copies of the text messages. I don't know if they will give you the info if your name isn't on the bill though. I hope you can figure out something.
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #14  
April 28th, 2007, 07:49 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,373
That is a great idea about the texts. Do you have an online account with your provider, you can sometimes go and look at the text messages on line. I have been able to access mine online before.
__________________
Wife, Mother of 4, Homeschooling, and wine drinking.


Reply With Quote
  #15  
April 28th, 2007, 08:17 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
I hope it's nothing.

I say trust your instincts. You know him best--when you brought it up, did he act figity or anything odd?

I wouldn't say either way based on what you know, but I think calling the husband is a good bet.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
April 28th, 2007, 08:22 PM
CJMOM209
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
That is a great idea about the texts. Do you have an online account with your provider, you can sometimes go and look at the text messages on line. I have been able to access mine online before.[/b]

Tried the online account...I got the numbers, but I'm not sure if I can access the actual messages from there.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
April 28th, 2007, 08:59 PM
ahixon
Guest
Posts: n/a
I am so sorry for you, but trust me if he is acting different then there is a good chance something is up. I will pray for your sake that there isn't though.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
April 29th, 2007, 05:33 AM
aik0aik0's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Transplanted to NC from NY
Posts: 705
Send a message via AIM to aik0aik0 Send a message via MSN to aik0aik0 Send a message via Yahoo to aik0aik0
Trust your instincts! Wondering will drive you crazy and make u question everything and be paranoid. His best friend's fiance is a pretty good source but if he isn't admitting it then it puts you in such a hard spot. I feel for you btdt!
__________________

Born 1/26/07 6lbs 2oz 20 inches long!!
One month appointment 8lbs 4oz and 21 inches long!!
Two Month appointment 10lbs 10.5 oz! 221/2 inches long!!
Four Month appointment 14lbs 11oz. 24 1/2 inches long!!
Sixth Month appointment 16lbs 11 oz 27 inches long!!
Nine Month appointment 18lbs 5 1/2 oz 28 1/4 inches long!!!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
April 29th, 2007, 05:47 AM
::er!ca::'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 36,283
I am definitely the type of person who will call back a phone number on the caller-ID or phone bill (though we don't get detailed billing anymore) if I don't know who it is. So, that is what I would do.
I hope you can get some answers soon,


And I think getting copies of the text messages would be a GREAT idea
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:58 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0