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  #1  
April 30th, 2007, 03:16 PM
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I guess I misunderstood what this board was about - I thought it was to voice both sides of an opinion - I didn't realize so many people wore their feelings on their sleeves. It sure was nice to see everyone's opinions until it started to get ugly.
I guess we should rename the board to debate unless this will offend you or hurt your feelings, then just sling ugly words, but that might be too long of a title.
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  #3  
April 30th, 2007, 03:21 PM
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I think I missed something.
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  #4  
April 30th, 2007, 03:30 PM
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What happened??
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  #6  
April 30th, 2007, 03:37 PM
mrobinson
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((off to read it now))
  #7  
April 30th, 2007, 03:39 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
What happened??[/b]

I think something in the Government Assistance thread has upset her, but I thought it was a good debate. I don't know what was objectionable about it. She commented in that thread that some people were "nasty" but I don't see it.


I don't know for certain.
[/b]
so I should not take personally that someone wishes bad things to happen to me so that I can truly understand her position? I think it was that kind of nasty crap that she is referring to.

E
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  #8  
April 30th, 2007, 03:41 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
I should not take personally that someone wishes bad things to happen to me so that I can truly understand her position? I think it was that kind of nasty crap that she is referring to.

E[/b]
  #10  
April 30th, 2007, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(samu2 @ Apr 30 2007, 05:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
<div class='quotemain'>
What happened??[/b]

I think something in the Government Assistance thread has upset her, but I thought it was a good debate. I don't know what was objectionable about it. She commented in that thread that some people were "nasty" but I don't see it.


I don't know for certain.
[/b]
so I should not take personally that someone wishes bad things to happen to me so that I can truly understand her position? I think it was that kind of nasty crap that she is referring to.

E
[/b][/quote]

I just re-read those comments and referencing Karma and saying that they hope you're never in that position where you'd have to beg for help isn't saying, "Gee E, I hope you have terrible things happen to you so you can understand poverty!" So, yeah, I don't think you should take it so personally.

What I understood of your position I know that you and I are on opposite sides of the debate, but I don't take it personally - I don't think you should either unless you've had a direct insult to you. I didn't see that, but I'll go back and read it again.
[/b][/quote]

I am supposed to be studying so I will just add a to this
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  #11  
April 30th, 2007, 03:53 PM
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That is a really hard subject to debate without it getting personal. I see the point of both sides. I think when the debate includes the subject of a sick child etc.... things can get ugly and people stop listening to each other,they are angry.
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  #12  
April 30th, 2007, 04:07 PM
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Maybe I read more into it but it just felt like people were taking personal stabs - things like this...

Did you post this topic because you wanted your pat on the back for doing things "the right way"? well here you go. *pat pat pat* Good job... do you feel better now????

I think that's just rude

- Maybe I shouldn't take it so personal - I know it's a touchy subject
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  #14  
April 30th, 2007, 04:16 PM
Mom2DavidandAaron's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I guess I misunderstood what this board was about - I thought it was to voice both sides of an opinion - I didn't realize so many people wore their feelings on their sleeves. It sure was nice to see everyone's opinions until it started to get ugly.
I guess we should rename the board to debate unless this will offend you or hurt your feelings, then just sling ugly words, but that might be too long of a title.[/b]
Well, it IS a debate. Sometimes opposing views will be expressed in a harsh way. I honestly don't think anyone was actually wishing something bad happening to you, but I can understand how you took it that way. I was a newbie once before and boy did I get offended by the tiniest thing. I don't know if it's good or bad, but after a while you start being less sensitive to opposing comments.
That doesn't mean that sometimes some people don't go way over the line. It happens. We're women, many of us are hormonal, some are going through PMS, some are pregnant, and some are sleep deprived. Tempers are bound to heat up once in a while And that's when the sarcasm comes out.
My suggestion is when you feel uncomfortable, back of for a while. There's this wrong idea that the one with the last word "wins". Honestly, most of the time no one wins and no one looses in these debates, it's a simple exchange of opinions and refusing to go on doesn't mean you don't have a valid point or a right idea or that you gave up. We all know our peace and quiet after a storm.
And sometimes it's healthy to agree to disagree.

Sharon
  #15  
April 30th, 2007, 04:32 PM
ahixon
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I am sorry you feel that way, but if you bring a topic like that to a debate board there is going to be two sides, and it may not alway's be nice and sweet. I hope that I didn't offend you, but honestly if you say that peoples kids are mistakes because they didn't have insurance for them when they were born then someone is bound to get mad. I love my kids very much so, I knew when I had them that we would have to get state funded insurance for them, would I change it if I could, not a chance in he!!. I hope that one day we have work funded insurance but until then my kids will continue to recieve Arkids, and I will not feel guilty about it.
  #16  
April 30th, 2007, 04:43 PM
Carly's Mama's Avatar formerly JackieGerhardt!
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Quote:
Maybe I read more into it but it just felt like people were taking personal stabs - things like this...

Did you post this topic because you wanted your pat on the back for doing things "the right way"? well here you go. *pat pat pat* Good job... do you feel better now????

I think that's just rude

- Maybe I shouldn't take it so personal - I know it's a touchy subject[/b]
I'll own it - I said that, and if you have a problem with it, instead of making a big show on a messge board, Pm me and I will be more than happy to discuss it further.

but SINCE you felt the need to call me out... you started a controversial post on an extremely moral high horse. Your tone was extremely condescending and you kept repeating the same story of your life over and over, as if it was some sort of validation that the rest of us are lowly losers. It felt to me like you kept repeating the same thing to get a sort of pat on the back, and I know I'm not the only one who felt so.

If you are going to post about a very controversial, personal topic, be prepared to deal with both sides of the fence. The "facts" you kept posting were not only stereotypical, many of them were plain old inaccurrate. If you are going to make blanketed statements like that, be prepared with research. And I'm sorry, but you weren't exactly hearing the other side either.

Also, if you intend to debate such topics, you have to be able to walk away without taking things so personally. I'm offended very often here by what people have to say, but I don't feel the need to open a new post calling them out. I don't even feel the need to avoid these people... and you will come across the same people over and over here. And let me tell you, you will disagree with them on some topics but totally relate with them on others.

What is that lyrics? "opinions are like A**holes, everybody's got 'em"

ETA: I think you need to step back and look at YOUR responses. Who are you to judge doing things "in order" - what is "in order" for you may not be the same ideal for someone else. You don't know me, my story or any of that. That is the problem many of the posters had with you... you assume and you judge. Then you expect us to sympathize when you are offended.
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  #17  
April 30th, 2007, 04:51 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
That is a really hard subject to debate without it getting personal. I see the point of both sides. I think when the debate includes the subject of a sick child etc.... things can get ugly and people stop listening to each other,they are angry.[/b]

That's true. I also tend to think that gross generalizations or blanket assumptions are just as offensive and likely to make the debate more emotional then calm reasoning.
[/b]
I think you hit the nail on the head..... I've said this a million times.. you don't have to personally tell someone or direct it at them to be referring to them.... I haven't read that thread so I don't know what it says, but I see this happen ALL THE TIME!
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  #18  
April 30th, 2007, 04:54 PM
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Thank you Sharon, that was well said and appreciated - I will just pretend I didn't read the other two comments, as they are the same rude people on the other thread, I'm starting to see a pattern

and yes, the rest of the debate was very interesting
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  #19  
April 30th, 2007, 04:55 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Maybe I read more into it but it just felt like people were taking personal stabs - things like this...

Did you post this topic because you wanted your pat on the back for doing things "the right way"? well here you go. *pat pat pat* Good job... do you feel better now????

I think that's just rude

- Maybe I shouldn't take it so personal - I know it's a touchy subject[/b]
I'll own it - I said that, and if you have a problem with it, instead of making a big show on a messge board, Pm me and I will be more than happy to discuss it further.

but SINCE you felt the need to call me out... you started a controversial post on an extremely moral high horse. Your tone was extremely condescending and you kept repeating the same story of your life over and over, as if it was some sort of validation that the rest of us are lowly losers. It felt to me like you kept repeating the same thing to get a sort of pat on the back, and I know I'm not the only one who felt so.

If you are going to post about a very controversial, personal topic, be prepared to deal with both sides of the fence. The "facts" you kept posting were not only stereotypical, many of them were plain old inaccurrate. If you are going to make blanketed statements like that, be prepared with research. And I'm sorry, but you weren't exactly hearing the other side either.

Also, if you intend to debate such topics, you have to be able to walk away without taking things so personally. I'm offended very often here by what people have to say, but I don't feel the need to open a new post calling them out. I don't even feel the need to avoid these people... and you will come across the same people over and over here. And let me tell you, you will disagree with them on some topics but totally relate with them on others.

What is that lyrics? "opinions are like A**holes, everybody's got 'em"

ETA: I think you need to step back and look at YOUR responses. Who are you to judge doing things "in order" - what is "in order" for you may not be the same ideal for someone else. You don't know me, my story or any of that. That is the problem many of the posters had with you... you assume and you judge. Then you expect us to sympathize when you are offended.
[/b]
I agree with you totally on the general comments regarding this issue... and well I'm not getting into the other stuff that I have no business in.
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  #20  
April 30th, 2007, 04:59 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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why ignore them? either pm them and work it out, or dont start a thread about them and ignore them. either way, make movement to work it out

starting a new thread to air personal laundry and then calling those people rude that do respond to you, just doesnt seem right.
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