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  #1  
May 1st, 2007, 07:18 AM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,371
<div align="center">Fall Classes for Men
at the ADULT LEARNING CENTER


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, Oct 30, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM!


Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies
Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.</div>
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  #2  
May 1st, 2007, 07:20 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 542
LMBO...........my dh would say I need most of those classes not him!

E
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  #3  
May 1st, 2007, 07:25 AM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Near Washington, DC
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Quote:
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.[/b]
LMFAO - That's DH! He's totally notorious for waking me up at 530AM with the house in shambles bellowing "Where're my BDU SOCKS?!", and the only place he DIDN'T look was his sock drawer
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I predict a riot.
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  #4  
May 1st, 2007, 07:31 AM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 3,531
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.........DH would SO be signing up for those classes!! hahaha. Tooooo funny! And tooooo true!


Casey
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  #5  
May 1st, 2007, 07:54 AM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,371
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.[/b]
LMFAO - That's DH! He's totally notorious for waking me up at 530AM with the house in shambles bellowing "Where're my BDU SOCKS?!", and the only place he DIDN'T look was his sock drawer
[/b][/quote]
LOL! My DH too! He starts cursing and huffing around rearranging the whole house! Why do men think that women have a radar on lost thing?
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  #7  
May 1st, 2007, 08:21 AM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,371
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
<div class='quotemain'>Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.[/b]
LMFAO - That's DH! He's totally notorious for waking me up at 530AM with the house in shambles bellowing "Where're my BDU SOCKS?!", and the only place he DIDN'T look was his sock drawer
[/b]
LOL! My DH too! He starts cursing and huffing around rearranging the whole house! Why do men think that women have a radar on lost thing?
[/b][/quote]

Add me to the "Honey, can you help me look for this" list. {That really translates to, "Honey, can you find this for me while I sit here"} DH wakes me up all the time to look for his wallet!
[/b][/quote]
My DH asks me "Babe, where did I put my socks?" When I say "I don't know where YOU put YOUR socks, but I will help you look", he plops down and starts doing whatever else while I end up looking for them. After a minute or two, I throw in the towel too! My uterus is not a tracking device!
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  #8  
May 1st, 2007, 09:10 AM
mommyKathyX3
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
<div class='quotemain'>Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.[/b]
LMFAO - That's DH! He's totally notorious for waking me up at 530AM with the house in shambles bellowing "Where're my BDU SOCKS?!", and the only place he DIDN'T look was his sock drawer
[/b]
LOL! My DH too! He starts cursing and huffing around rearranging the whole house! Why do men think that women have a radar on lost thing?
[/b][/quote]

Add me to the "Honey, can you help me look for this" list. {That really translates to, "Honey, can you find this for me while I sit here"} DH wakes me up all the time to look for his wallet!
[/b][/quote]


4 and 10 are the ones i'll sign Joey up for!

oh, and when he says "where's X" I'll say, "lets see the last time I used YOUR wallet. . . " Why do they think we automatically know where EVERYTHING is even when THEY are the one who lost it? LOL
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  #9  
May 1st, 2007, 09:15 AM
::er!ca::'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 36,283


That was good!
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  #10  
May 1st, 2007, 09:41 AM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Texas
Posts: 17,541
I think I need some of these classes!
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  #11  
May 1st, 2007, 09:43 AM
mrobinson
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.[/b]
Why do I picture a group of men turning that class into "who can pee the highest?"
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  #12  
May 1st, 2007, 09:51 AM
ahixon
Guest
Posts: n/a
My husband always blames the kids for losing his stuff, then we will find it somewhere that kids kids could have not possibly have put it, like in his best friends truck...LOL
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