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Leaving the baby with a sitter


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  #1  
May 1st, 2007, 03:24 PM
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How old was your baby before you felt ok leaving them with a sitter just so you could do something fun like go to a movie or whatever for a couple of hours? What about an overnight/weekend trip away?

Obviously this is a personal decision and there is no "right" answer, but I am curious.
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  #2  
May 1st, 2007, 03:28 PM
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My oldest was 3 months when he stayed away from home for a night. He stayed with my parents. He started daycare at 10 months, my other 2 started daycare at about 6 weeks. They all spent their first night away from home (with my parents) at between 3-4 months. We don't have sitters per se; the boys stay at daycare during the day while DH and I work and if we go out, they stay with grandparents or their aunt.
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  #3  
May 1st, 2007, 03:28 PM
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With DD, she was 3 before I left her with a non family sitter. DS is 16 months old and he has only stayed with family (my parents and my sister).
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  #4  
May 1st, 2007, 03:47 PM
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DD started staying with my mom while I was at school when she was a month old. We rarely leave her for fun stuff but I think the first time we did was around the same time so we could go to dinner for our anniersary. She has never stayed overnight at anyone's house and she's never been with a non-family sitter, only my parents or the ILs. She's 9.5 months old. I can't bear the thought of being without my baby for a whole night, but I'm sure we'll do it at some point
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  #5  
May 1st, 2007, 04:19 PM
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I have a 10, 8, and 17 month old and still have not. The main reason I do not trust strangers and the second reason is dh lost his virginity at 12 with a babysitter.
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  #6  
May 1st, 2007, 04:42 PM
Mia&Mattea'sMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've never let her with a sitter meaning outside of the family. My Mom and Sister take her about once a week overnight. The first time I left her she was 6 weeks old overnight at my Moms. I personally don't feel comfortable leaving her with someone I don't know. I'm going to wait until she is really talking well and able to care for her self a somewhat and then I think about it.
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  #8  
May 1st, 2007, 05:16 PM
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We haven't let Jules sleep overnight anywhere yet (she's 19 months) and we don't anticipate letting her do it anytime soon. I'm just not comfortable with it, and there's really no need.

The first time we left her with a sitter (a close friend, no family around b/c we were living on the other side of the country) was when she was 12 or 13 months old, I think. We didn't leave her until she weaned from breastfeeding.

Now, it's generally about once/month that DH and I leave her with a family member - either they drive up to MD for a few days and watch her one night, or we'll drive down to NJ, leave her with a family member, and go out.
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  #9  
May 1st, 2007, 06:39 PM
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Brinlee has NEVER spent the night away from myself and DH. She will be two in a week, and I can not imagine not putting her to bed or getting her up in the morning. We are not ready to leave her with someone over night yet, and honestly I don't see us doing it anytime soon. We will probably TTC again this fall, and when our second child is born I've already told DH that he is to come home and stay with Brinlee at night, instead of in the hospital with me.

As far as babysitters go, my mom and dad, and my two sisters are the only people who I will let watch Brinlee. I don't need someone to watch Brinlee very often, but when I do it is usually my mom. Brinlee might be in my moms care a couple hours per week while I'm in class, if DH happens to be at work at that time. Never longer than a couple hours though, and only once (maybe twice) per week during the semester. Classes are now over, so I don't see needing my parents or sisters to watch her until school starts back up in the fall (August).

We really enjoy spending time as a family, so there isn't anything that we do without her. If we go to dinner, she goes with us. I don't enjoy movie theaters, so we don't waste the money to go... especially when we can save money and watch them in the comfort of our own home. We consider our family time as our "fun time" and don't feel like we want to, or need to, send her to a sitter to have time alone. She goes to bed at 7:30pm, so we definitely get our alone time. We love having special dinners by ourselves once she goes to bed, watching a movie, playing some games, talking, etc.

I can not even imagine leaving her with a hired sitter. I know for a fact that it will not happen for a very, very long time... if ever.

Each family situation is different, this is just what works best for us
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  #10  
May 1st, 2007, 06:52 PM
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I used to leave the older two with family, and they were very young when they would spend a night or weekend with Grandma. I breastfed the next three, and none of them ever stayed with anybody overnight. For one thing, we moved away from family. But mostly I was just reluctant to leave them.

Last summer we had one child hospitalized overnight, and the other four had to stay with some close friends. Other than that, we haven't left anybody with a babysitter in probably four years.
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  #11  
May 1st, 2007, 07:15 PM
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We've left her in the church nursery - but I work in there every other sunday. SO I don't really count that. When SIL's were visiting here [5 months old] she stayed with them for a few hours. DH trusts nobody, although I'm fine with leaving her with a close mommy friend for a few hours. I'd love to go out on a "date night", right about now.
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  #12  
May 1st, 2007, 08:16 PM
babiesrus
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Wow . . . apparently I am the only one here who has no family to rely on to take care of my kids for me.

I have left my youngest at 2 months of age along with my 3 others with a sitter from across the way. She is a very responsible girl. I trust her implicitly with my children.

I had a brother-in-law we trusted, he was close family, but no more. So even if it is family, one just never knows . . . it is sad.
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  #13  
May 1st, 2007, 08:39 PM
mommyKathyX3
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My mother I've trusted her with all three of them when they were pretty young. Under 3 months but not sure the EXACT age. Not overnight though. Other than when I had the other kids (Chloe with Julia and both of the girls with Cade) they've never spent the night with anyone as a babysitter. I'm overly paranoid, and other than my mom, and Joey's mom, nobody else has ever watched the kids.

Oh, I guess Julia did go to a birthday party without me just 2 months ago. Her first by herself.
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  #14  
May 1st, 2007, 08:40 PM
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Quote:
Wow . . . apparently I am the only one here who has no family to rely on to take care of my kids for me. [/b]
No, you aren't. We live 1200 miles away from our family, and have since before our third was born. We now don't have anybody we can call for babysitting, family or otherwise.
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  #15  
May 2nd, 2007, 08:09 AM
rose198172's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My daughter was a few weeks old... but it was with my mom. I think to leave my daughter with an actual babysitter who isn't family.... hmmm... I'm still not ready to do that.
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  #16  
May 2nd, 2007, 08:18 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
Wow . . . apparently I am the only one here who has no family to rely on to take care of my kids for me. [/b]
No, you aren't. We live 1200 miles away from our family, and have since before our third was born. We now don't have anybody we can call for babysitting, family or otherwise.
[/b]
We're the same way - we're in NC, and with family in CA, NM, NY, FL, and puerto rico. So the "family only" as sitter is quite unrealistic for us -- which is why we've had such a hard time with finding a sitter that both of us trust.

I was actually going to make a spin off question: If you your family members that babysit where to suddenly not be there [relocation, or whatever reason], would you find somebody else, or not?
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  #17  
May 2nd, 2007, 08:23 AM
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I'm still not comfortable leaving Em with a sitter other than my DH or my mom. So, I don't have an answer for this right now....I guess I'll feel comfortable when the time comes and who knows when that will be!! I hate leaving her, my baby comes with me pretty much everywhere I go. I miss her too much when I'm away from her. Apparently, I have separation issues!
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  #18  
May 2nd, 2007, 08:25 AM
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Overall we have no problems leaving our kids with a sitter, and never have. DH and I love being around our kids, but we also know that we need that time alone together to be a couple - the people we were originally and still are. It's really helped us to keep our marriage strong, I think. None of our family lives locally either, so we rely on out-of-family sitters whenever we want to go to out alone - which winds up being every couple of months or so.

We'd never choose a babysitter on a whim, though. Our first sitter (and still our favorite) is a girl we've known since she was 10 years old (she's 21 now). She was 14 when my son was born and babysat him when he was probably just a few months old. We knew her and her family well and she had experience, so we felt comfortable with it. To this day we use her regularly - she babysat for DS and DD when my daughter was just a couple months old, and we had no qualms whatsoever.

Now we have a couple of other sitters we've found and grown to trust. They work in my daughter's daycare center so background checks have been done and my kids are familiar with them.

The first overnight away from the kids - when DS was about two months old, my parents came to stay with him while DH and I flew to NY for my class reunion. It was one of the best things we ever did - it was only for one or two nights, and DS was fine (I'd pumped enough milk for him to be fed EBM the entire time, plus we had backup formula for an emergency). But DH and I really benefitted from the mental break after several weeks of chaos. And we totally missed him when we got back, couldn't wait to get our hands on him again!

My folks also watched him when he was about 22 months old and we took a trip to Key West - DS stayed at their house. And two years ago, my mom watched both of the kids while DH and I took a weekend at Universal.
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