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An Apology


Forum: Heated Debates

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  #1  
May 1st, 2007, 07:13 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Instead of trying to send a PM to everyone (which would take forever) I want to put this out there for all to read.

I wanted to offer an apology to anyone who may have been offended by my stance in the government assistance debate. It has been brought to my attention that someone who participated in the debate may leave JM and I am not sure if that is the reason.

The debate became very heated at times and obviously we don't all agree (which is the point of a debate). I don't want anyone to think that I was personally attacking anyone here. That was never my intent. I was expressing my opinion.

One person accused me of calling others here scumbags. I just want everyone to know that I never said that nor would I ever say that. I don't want anyone to be hurt especially by something that I never even said.

I always do my best to respect everyone's opinions. I think this is a wonderful board and I have learned a lot in the time that I have been coming here. I love to hear other people's points of view and opinions.

I know we won't always agree but I hope that we can all remain respectful of each other. I have to admit that it really hurts to have had someone twist my words like that.

So to anyone who was hurt by anything that I said I truly am sorry.

Susan
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  #2  
May 1st, 2007, 07:35 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
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I didn't see anything you said that was malicious. You shouldn't have to apologize because someone misread and/or twisted your words and intent. This is going to get really bad around here, if someone is going to threaten to leave or people start feeling they have to post apologies everytime there is a difference of opinion. That is the point of this board. The whole point here is to disagree, to share our differing viewpoints, we can't issue a public apology everytime someone gets their feelings hurt because they are taking it personally.
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  #3  
May 1st, 2007, 07:37 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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I just reread the last several pages, and I didn't see anything you posted that was offensive. It just seems like another welfare debate gone wrong...
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  #4  
May 1st, 2007, 07:43 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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I know that we can't all apologize whenever someone gets their feelings hurt. My main reason for posting this was because someone said that I called others scumbags. I didn't want anyone who was just skimming through posts to see that and not realize that I hadn't really said it. KWIM?
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  #6  
May 1st, 2007, 07:51 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
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Quote:
I know that we can't all apologize whenever someone gets their feelings hurt. My main reason for posting this was because someone said that I called others scumbags. I didn't want anyone who was just skimming through posts to see that and not realize that I hadn't really said it. KWIM?[/b]
Certainly, you don't owe an apology to anyone for something that you never said.
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  #7  
May 1st, 2007, 07:51 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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I am apologizing for anything else that I said that did hurt someone's feelings because that was never my intent.

The thing about the scumbags was just to clear the air. I didn't want someone to just see her post and think it was truly what I said because I doubt many people would reread 19 pages to see if it was true.
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  #8  
May 1st, 2007, 07:54 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think it was you. I think it was someone else. You mentioned several times that you have zero problems with people getting state medical assistance.
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  #9  
May 1st, 2007, 08:08 PM
ahixon
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I don't know who said they were leaving, but that makes no sense to me. It is a debate board, you see things the way you see them, and I see them the way I do. At the end of the day it doesn't matter. I don't think you were rude, and even if you were rude, you were not even almost as rude as I have seen other people be. I would not apoligize, if someone wants to leave, then let them.
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  #10  
May 1st, 2007, 08:17 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
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Quote:
I don't think it was you. I think it was someone else. You mentioned several times that you have zero problems with people getting state medical assistance.[/b]
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  #11  
May 1st, 2007, 08:21 PM
CBMS
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Quote:
I don't know who said they were leaving, but that makes no sense to me. It is a debate board, you see things the way you see them, and I see them the way I do. At the end of the day it doesn't matter. I don't think you were rude, and even if you were rude, you were not even almost as rude as I have seen other people be. I would not apoligize, if someone wants to leave, then let them.[/b]

Meet MADELINE, the child who hasn't earned her right to get her next life-saving open heart surgery that she will need in the next 16-34 months. She will always be uninsured because the only insurance available to her is not only unreasonably priced, but they won't cover her condition anyway. It's listed as one of the "permanent exclusions" through the insurer.

So, when she begins to outgrow her "new" artificial valve and her pulmonary artery (that is made out of her own collateral veins, since she was born without a pulmonary artery) becomes too narrow to allow blood flow to the lungs, she'll go back into congestive heart failure, and I will have to watch her slowly die because we can't get Medicaid.

I'd take being called a lowlife for getting what my child hasn't rightfully EARNED yet in order for her to live....

but there are people on here that think that she doesn't deserve to live. If someone said anything like that to you, I'm sure you'd take it pretty personally too.
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  #12  
May 1st, 2007, 08:29 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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For some reason you think that I said that and I did not. I said over and over again that I didn't have a problem with anyone receiving health care. I really don't appreciate having words put in my mouth.

I have offered an apology on here and to you by PM about anything I said that you may have found offensive. However, I am NOT apologizing for things that I did not say.
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  #13  
May 1st, 2007, 08:34 PM
CBMS
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Quote:
For some reason you think that I said that and I did not. I said over and over again that I didn't have a problem with anyone receiving health care. I really don't appreciate having words put in my mouth.

I have offered an apology on here and to you by PM about anything I said that you may have found offensive. However, I am NOT apologizing for things that I did not say.[/b]

That response wasn't to you. I quoted someone else entirely. You aren't the only one that was in that thread, and more than one person said that health care is is a privilege that's earned, and yes, I was offended.

I pose this question, in general, to the people who also believe that way:

What did my child do to earn the privilege of being told that she is going to die because insurance isn't available?
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  #14  
May 1st, 2007, 08:35 PM
ahixon
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Listen, i am sorry about your daughter. I am one of the ones on the debate that is abusing the system because I have three kids on a state funded insurance program. It hurts my feelings to that people think my kids are mistakes, because we aren't offered insurance through work, and can't afford private, but what people on this board think has no meaning in my life, it is their opinon, not everyone feels the same way. I would venture to say that the majority of people in this world don't have a problem with kids recieving medical insurance that is paid for with tax payers money. At least once a week someone says something that I disagree with, but I go on, and the next day the same person may say something I totally agree with. As far as I know there isn't anyone on this board that honestly thinks I am trash because I recieve health coverage for my kids, I could be wrong. If I was you I would get every last dime I could for my child, no matter what I had to do to get it, and if someone else had a problem with it then they could kiss my butt. I did not mean to offend you, I was just saying it is a debate board, not everyone is going to agree. Sorry, if I upset you. April
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  #15  
May 1st, 2007, 08:42 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Quote:
Quote:
For some reason you think that I said that and I did not. I said over and over again that I didn't have a problem with anyone receiving health care. I really don't appreciate having words put in my mouth.

I have offered an apology on here and to you by PM about anything I said that you may have found offensive. However, I am NOT apologizing for things that I did not say.[/b]

That response wasn't to you. I quoted someone else entirely. You aren't the only one that was in that thread, and more than one person said that health care is is a privilege that's earned, and yes, I was offended.

I pose this question, in general, to the people who also believe that way:

What did my child do to earn the privilege of being told that she is going to die because insurance isn't available?
[/b]

However, I was the person you accused of calling you and others scumbags. I never said that.

I am not going to speak for anyone else and their beliefs.
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  #16  
May 1st, 2007, 08:42 PM
Carly's Mama's Avatar formerly JackieGerhardt!
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That thread just turned into a P*ssing match. I was hurt by things said on it too, but I just had to walk away and try so very hard not to take things personally. It's so easy to spout off when you are staring at words on a screen, and not the person you are spouting off about. No one shouldleave JM because of a topic that went bad and should have ended before it started.


FWIW, I was on BCP and used condoms and managed to get knocked up at 22 in my senior year of college. I had to drop out, go on all kinds of assistance, the whole 9 yards. LOTS of the things people had to say about people in my situation, really made me mad... and I had to walk away, but I won't leave the debates because of it.

Whoever is planning to leave, please don't. Whoever is offended, please stay and try to look past the hurt feelings - although I don't agree with a lot of the opinions here, I give EVERYONE kudos, as we all have the balls to speak our minds here, and ALL of us have dealt with backlash from others for our opinions.



now please, hugs and hand-pounds all around!!
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  #17  
May 1st, 2007, 09:53 PM
KBeans's Avatar Believe in your body
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we even debate apologies around here?
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  #18  
May 2nd, 2007, 04:38 AM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think it is very big of you to step up and apoogize, but I don't think you should have to. That topic derailed through no fault of your own. It shouldn't have even been a debate about those recieving Medicaid or the like, because most people said they had no problen with that, and it was originally about Welfare! Sometimes on these boards people will take what you say and run with it, until it becomes something totally different. I don't see how anyone could think they were being called scumbags, when it was clear you were discussing something else. At the end of the day, we all take things too personally at times and that leads to a much messier situation than the debate board should be. I think it's great that you have the b@lls to come forward.
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  #19  
May 2nd, 2007, 05:19 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,780
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I don't know who said they were leaving, but that makes no sense to me. It is a debate board, you see things the way you see them, and I see them the way I do. At the end of the day it doesn't matter. I don't think you were rude, and even if you were rude, you were not even almost as rude as I have seen other people be. I would not apoligize, if someone wants to leave, then let them.[/b]

Meet MADELINE, the child who hasn't earned her right to get her next life-saving open heart surgery that she will need in the next 16-34 months. She will always be uninsured because the only insurance available to her is not only unreasonably priced, but they won't cover her condition anyway. It's listed as one of the "permanent exclusions" through the insurer.

So, when she begins to outgrow her "new" artificial valve and her pulmonary artery (that is made out of her own collateral veins, since she was born without a pulmonary artery) becomes too narrow to allow blood flow to the lungs, she'll go back into congestive heart failure, and I will have to watch her slowly die because we can't get Medicaid.
I'd take being called a lowlife for getting what my child hasn't rightfully EARNED yet in order for her to live....

but there are people on here that think that she doesn't deserve to live. If someone said anything like that to you, I'm sure you'd take it pretty personally too.
[/b][/quote]

I don't understand. Why can't she get medicaid?

Or were you speaking hypothetically, like "if you all got your way she wouldn't get medicaid and she would not make it".
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  #20  
May 2nd, 2007, 05:56 AM
paganempath
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Why is there still a fight about this? Things went badly; can we let it rest already? Debating the hypothetical is one thing but just remember that every hypothetical situation IS someone's reality. And it doesn't matter what was said or not said. There will be inferences and hurt feelings when it's connected to the life of a child. Regardless of what was meant, it felt like a personal attack on an innocent child. And who isn't going to get upset about that? If the author of this thread felt like her child was being discounted and undervalued, she'd be pissed as well. Justified or not-- that's just the way it is.
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