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  #1  
May 2nd, 2007, 05:58 AM
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What are your thoughts? Why make assumptions and stereotypes?



I was just out walking my dogs, and some women [a neighbor] decided to tell me there is no way MY DAUGHTER is mine, because I'm so young. So I'm just a bit angry [need a angry faced smilie with steam ].


Why is it that people say such things? I try to give the benefit of the doubt most people look at a photo and think i'm a few years younger then what I am...but still, who gives her the right to tell me my daughter can't be mine b/c of my age?! On top of that, I LIVE ON THE SAME STREET AS HER, has she not SEEN my husband and I before with her?! She's home enough to have seen me with her numerous times outside, and such. She's always with DH and I. Plus my neighbors are super nosey, and watch cars going in and out - have you ever seen somebody drop her off or pick her up or visversa ---- UMMMM NO! And she is one of the big people who keeps track of who should and should not be here.

Let's see, it just about 9am, I've been up since 730am, and I'm already in a foul mood.


[EDIT: Spelling error]
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  #2  
May 2nd, 2007, 06:06 AM
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OHHHH I so know how you feel. I did a paper on this for a women's studies class about discrimination of young mothers. Would anyone in their right mind ask a mother who appears to be 35 how old she is, or relate her age to her ability to parent her child?! I think not. I routinely field questions about my age and I think it is tactless to ask a woman her age no matter how old she appears to be. My favorite comment was from an elderly woman who lives in my neighborhood. She asked me if our parents lived by, and I said yes and asked why she would ask that. She replied "Well, you can't be doing it all yourself (as in raising my DD), you look like a couple of kids." We are doing it by ourselves obviously, we made her, I carried her, I birthed her, and we raise her. NO ONE else raises my child. People are such #$%holes sometimes. Ok, rant over
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  #3  
May 2nd, 2007, 06:06 AM
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Quote:
Let's see, it just about 9am, I've been up since 730am, and I'm already in a fowl mood. [/b]
So, you feel like a bird?

Haha sorry I couldn't resist

No but seriously...I think people assume because your a young mom you are uneducated and irresponsible. It's such a ridiculous stereotype. Bad mothers come in all ages!
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  #4  
May 2nd, 2007, 06:09 AM
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I know how you feel unfortunately. Just be the bigger person and make them look like the fools for even questioning you.

On the flip side---what about children being too mouthy?? HOLY MOLY!! Yesterday, Eliz and I went to Chuckie Cheese for the first time. This little girl, probably 6-8 y/o came up and asked me WAY personal questions:

Do you have a kid?
Is that your kid?
What's her name?
What's your name?
Is she adopted !?!?!?!?! What the..
She asked wayyyyy too many questions.
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  #5  
May 2nd, 2007, 06:14 AM
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Quote:
I know how you feel unfortunately. Just be the bigger person and make them look like the fools for even questioning you.

On the flip side---what about children being too mouthy?? HOLY MOLY!! Yesterday, Eliz and I went to Chuckie Cheese for the first time. This little girl, probably 6-8 y/o came up and asked me WAY personal questions:

Do you have a kid?
Is that your kid?
What's her name?
What's your name?
Is she adopted !?!?!?!?! What the..
She asked wayyyyy too many questions.[/b]
This little girl at the hair salon came up to me and was asking me all sorts of questions (and trying to poke Mattea )

How old are you?
What is the babies name?
Are you married? (no)
Where is her daddy?
How did you have a baby if your not married?

I told her that was something that she had to ask her mommy to explain
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  #6  
May 2nd, 2007, 06:19 AM
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Quote:
Quote:

Let's see, it just about 9am, I've been up since 730am, and I'm already in a fowl mood. [/b]
So, you feel like a bird?

Haha sorry I couldn't resist
[/b]

Ok - now I'm laughing. When I typed it, firefox didn't show a spelling error, but it still didn't look right...but I can't think of the right spelling....this is going to drive me crazy, i know it but it just wont come out

Kids are great for asking questions - I generally don't mind if its kids asking questions, because its generally out of pure innocence and curiosity. The only question I've ever had to tell a child to ask his/her parent was "where do babies come from".
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  #7  
May 2nd, 2007, 06:20 AM
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(foul)


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  #8  
May 2nd, 2007, 06:23 AM
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fixed
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  #9  
May 2nd, 2007, 06:41 AM
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I've been down this road for 13 years now. We married at 19 and had our first child right away and one after the other since then. My husband and I both look fairly young and I have had some doozey remarks over the years! I get asked often if they are all mine, then, if they all have the same father!
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  #10  
May 2nd, 2007, 07:10 AM
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Just to interject a little humor-I would love someone to say that to me! I'm not that old (35) or at least I don't feel like it) but it makes me feel good to feel young. To me it would be a compliment-but that is because I'm 35 not 20 and people mean it to be a compliment at my age. I agree with you that many people say ti to younger people nto as a compliment. I think when you are real young many people think you are dumb and inexperienced and they mean it just like you took it. Ignore people who say dumb things like that. They are jealous! I think some people get older and get into the "I'm old now and know everything and young kids don't know anything" mode and we all know that is so untrue. I just roll my eyes at those people. A young mother is the best-she remembers how to have fun, be silly and not take herself so seriously. A lot of older people need to stop passing judgement on younger people and be openminded.

Quote:
I've been down this road for 13 years now. We married at 19 and had our first child right away and one after the other since then. My husband and I both look fairly young and I have had some doozey remarks over the years! I get asked often if they are all mine, then, if they all have the same father![/b]
That just shows what a responsible, great mom you are!!!! You should be really proud! Some people have no tact so ignore them. Some people can be very rude.


PS. I type with two fingers,have since college so my typing will never improve! Also, when I get going I may misspell things and not correct it because I am lazy lol
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  #11  
May 2nd, 2007, 07:39 AM
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I can TOTALLY relate and almost nothing bugs me more. I am kind of young (21), but what makes it worse is that I look much younger. (I was just assisting a teacher in a middle school for a month. My first day there, several people thought I was a new 7th grader. )

The worst instance that sticks out for me was in Staples one day. I had gone to make some copies and this elderly lady came in and didn't know how to use the copier. So I helped her. Then after her copies were done, she asked "She's not yours, is she?" Then when I said yes, got an absolutely disgusted look on her face and said "Don't you think you're a little young?" GRRRR. I calmly asked her to mind her own business and left to pay for my copies. But I think I probably get a comment like that at least every other week. It gets old.
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  #12  
May 2nd, 2007, 07:42 AM
irishxrose
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As a teen mom, I've had MANY comments and dirty looks directed towards me and my son. It bugs me, but I usually just ignore it.
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  #13  
May 2nd, 2007, 07:46 AM
rose198172's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I can relate to this. Sure, I may be 26, but most people assume I'm either in my late teens or very early 20's (less than 22 years old). I get stares and stupid comments all the time, especially now that I'm pregnant with #2 and Emilee is just 10 months old.

The thing that bothers me the most is that a lot of older people here give me nasty looks and make judgmental comments.

This one lady at the store said something about "irresponsible teen moms" and I retorted back that I was 26, married, and told her it really wasn't any of her business if I wanted 15 kids! She turned so red!!

Ok, I know I probably got way off topic, but I understand what you're saying.

ETA: Fallen2Love, I just realized that Hailey and Emilee are exactly the same age. How cool is that?
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  #14  
May 2nd, 2007, 07:48 AM
mommyKathyX3
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People are too judgmental. I was a young mom with my first, and sometimes people look at me now with a almost 7 yr old, and 4 yr old and baby, and kinda like I can just see thier minds working. Yes, many (but not ALL) young moms are not in optimal situations, but it doesnt make them bad mothers. People should mind thier own darn buisiness and focus on themselves.
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  #15  
May 2nd, 2007, 08:25 AM
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Quote:
ETA: Fallen2Love, I just realized that Hailey and Emilee are exactly the same age. How cool is that?[/b]
Thats so cool - I can't believe its already almost JUNE -where as the last year went?!


I have the same problem, I'm almost 21, but people think I look MAYBE 17.
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  #16  
May 2nd, 2007, 08:46 AM
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Ladies, unless you get addicted to Meth, it's not likely to improve. I'll be 35 this year, my oldest is 13. When I say I have 4 children from 13 yo to 20 mo, you would not believe the looks I get!!!!

First there's the whole, WOW! 4 kids (they're thinking, She's insane) Then when the ages are discussed People get kinda quiet and I know they are doing the Math on the assumption I'm about 28. Oh what a wonderful feeling that is!!!!

E
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  #17  
May 2nd, 2007, 09:42 AM
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I get it all the time. ALL the time. It pisses me off. Just because I'm young (21) does not mean I'm an idiot. Don't talk to me like I am one.

One time in Sams Club (Chris was deployed at the time) I was loading my groceries on the conveyor thing. The guy in front of me was helping me out (nice, right?!). Well he starts talking to me about the kids, asking ages and stuff. And then he looks at me and goes, "Their both yours?" Yes. "Wow, how old are you?" 21. "Wow, so a baby raising babies... thats good though, you guys can grow up together." Also I wasn't wearing my wedding ring that day because my finger had been rubbed raw so I was letting it heal. Well he looks at my hand and goes, "Are you married." Yes. "Well you aren't wearing a wedding ring." I had to take it off to let my finger heal. "Riiiiight....". What an #####.
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  #18  
May 2nd, 2007, 09:49 AM
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I am almost 27 and just now having my first child. I got married when I was 20 though and people always felt the need to say something about that. I can't tell you how many people said "oh it will never work because you're too young." Well almost 7 years later we are still happily married so to those people.

Now, I get asked all of the time "why did you wait so long to have kids?" Well I usually launch into my infertility story and that typically shuts them up and makes them feel bad!
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  #19  
May 2nd, 2007, 10:14 AM
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I get it all the time too.

Had my first child two days before I turned 18

Had my second child at 20

3rd child at 22

4th child at 25

I also still look pretty young too. I get a lot of looks too but I love it when someone comments now, I just give them a proud look and say yes they are all mine, yes I had them young.

I think we have a bad name because reality is a lot of teen mothers are not educated etc etc the stats prove that.
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  #20  
May 2nd, 2007, 10:17 AM
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ok this is hijacking, but does anyone feel that they look totally different as they get older? a year ago I felt like I totally didnt look my age, but I swear my facial structure has changed, in one year! and I wonder when I have kids if they will think I look young or right on..
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