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  #1  
May 6th, 2007, 04:15 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Location: New Jersey
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Maybe it's just me but it seems that a lot of people in our society are always looking for someone to blame for their actions.

I've seen it in all sorts of ways. Think about a lot of the criminals that are being prosecuted they are almost always looking for someone else to blame.

You hear people who commit crimes, do drugs or drink excessively blame the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents. Well at what point do you have to become an adult and be responsible for your own actions and say "well such and such happened to me but I don't have to let it control the rest of my life."

Parents blame society for the way that their children act or dress. I don't think it's societies fault. Why didn't you (general) as a parent teach your child that those things aren't ok?

So many want to blame their parents, society, the government, or whomever else they can think of but yet very few take that look in the mirror and say..."hmm...maybe I screwed up my own life."

Yes, I believe society, culture, the way you were raised all play a vital role in who you are but at some point you have to take responsibility for yourself.

The black and white debate made me think about some of this. Several people mentioned that it is hard for people who live in poverty to find a way out of it because others are holding them down. While that may be true in some sense they also have to be willing to help themselves.

My husband grew up in an incredibly abusive and poor family. His family mostly lived off of what the government provided. The area in which he grew up was riddled with drugs and crime. He was beaten regularly by his stepfather and I mean beaten to the point where several times he had to be hospitalized. He rarely ate more than one meal a day. Education was never important to his family, his parents couldn't have cared less if he went to school. He was finally kicked out of his home when he was barely 17 because his mother chose his stepfather over him.

He lived with a friend and worked until he finished high school. He then took on 2 full time jobs and worked that way for several years. He saved enough money to buy a place to live and earn his own way. Everything he has in his life is because he worked his behind off for it. He knew no one else was going to help him or hand him anything. Even though things were rough for him he considers himself a better person for it because it made him value hard work.

So honestly it is hard for me to take poverty as an excuse for turning to a life of crime and dealing drugs. Sometimes you can't be afraid of a little hard work.

When in life do we have to take responsibility for our actions and stop blaming everyone else?
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  #2  
May 6th, 2007, 04:19 PM
Pure Innocence
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Quote:
Maybe it's just me but it seems that a lot of people in our society are always looking for someone to blame for their actions.

I've seen it in all sorts of ways. Think about a lot of the criminals that are being prosecuted they are almost always looking for someone else to blame.

You hear people who commit crimes, do drugs or drink excessively blame the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents. Well at what point do you have to become an adult and be responsible for your own actions and say "well such and such happened to me but I don't have to let it control the rest of my life."

Parents blame society for the way that their children act or dress. I don't think it's societies fault. Why didn't you (general) as a parent teach your child that those things aren't ok?

So many want to blame their parents, society, the government, or whomever else they can think of but yet very few take that look in the mirror and say..."hmm...maybe I screwed up my own life."

Yes, I believe society, culture, the way you were raised all play a vital role in who you are but at some point you have to take responsibility for yourself.

The black and white debate made me think about some of this. Several people mentioned that it is hard for people who live in poverty to find a way out of it because others are holding them down. While that may be true in some sense they also have to be willing to help themselves.

My husband grew up in an incredibly abusive and poor family. His family mostly lived off of what the government provided. The area in which he grew up was riddled with drugs and crime. He was beaten regularly by his stepfather and I mean beaten to the point where several times he had to be hospitalized. He rarely ate more than one meal a day. Education was never important to his family, his parents couldn't have cared less if he went to school. He was finally kicked out of his home when he was barely 17 because his mother chose his stepfather over him.

He lived with a friend and worked until he finished high school. He then took on 2 full time jobs and worked that way for several years. He saved enough money to buy a place to live and earn his own way. Everything he has in his life is because he worked his behind off for it. He knew no one else was going to help him or hand him anything. Even though things were rough for him he considers himself a better person for it because it made him value hard work.

So honestly it is hard for me to take poverty as an excuse for turning to a life of crime and dealing drugs. Sometimes you can't be afraid of a little hard work.

When in life do we have to take responsibility for our actions and stop blaming everyone else?[/b]
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  #3  
May 6th, 2007, 04:24 PM
rdhdtrue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I find it hard to believe that the way you are brought up sets your life. I am one of 7 and you could not find a more different group of individuals. My parents did not raise us differently (at least not the first five) so to me that means you come into the world with different "genes" (lack of a better word at the moment) and your upbringing is not going to alter that too far off course.

I also think the more you push your beliefs off on your kids the more rebellion plays a part. You can guide them but you can not make them think the way you want them to. They are individuals from day one and you have to accept that and learn to love them for the person they are.
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  #4  
May 6th, 2007, 04:27 PM
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  #5  
May 6th, 2007, 04:45 PM
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I agree with you 100%, in that it's frustrating to watch people continually not take responsibility for their actions.

I'm torn on the poverty debate. My mother grew up in extreme poverty; she lived in a primarily black neighborhood and got beat up just about everyday because she was white. The school system she was in was awful, but regardless, she struggled hard and got a good job, moved out, made something of her life without resorting to selling drugs or something similarly illegal. On the other hand, low-income neighborhoods simply don't have the same opportunities, or dedication from teachers/parents/other role models to help guide those kids out of the situations they're in. 99% of a parent's job is to teach their child how to gage what they should or shouldn't do...if a child doesn't have that guidance from their parents, they generally get it from their teachers...if not their teachers, then the after-school program counselors...but what if there's nothing there? Kids are called kids because they can't be left to their own devices to make good life choices.

Anyway. I'm guilty of blaming others as well, but part of my religious practice now is to be mindful, and that includes of all things (not just of happiness, but of anger and jealousy, etc). I think you have to find the balance; some things are legitimate things to blame on someone or something, and some simply aren't. On one end of the scale you take too much on yourself that maybe you can't handle; at the other end you don't take on enough. But, society today doesn't do so well with moderation.
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  #6  
May 6th, 2007, 04:54 PM
Pure Innocence
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Quote:
I agree with you 100%, in that it's frustrating to watch people continually not take responsibility for their actions.

I'm torn on the poverty debate. My mother grew up in extreme poverty; she lived in a primarily black neighborhood and got beat up just about everyday because she was white. The school system she was in was awful, but regardless, she struggled hard and got a good job, moved out, made something of her life without resorting to selling drugs or something similarly illegal. On the other hand, low-income neighborhoods simply don't have the same opportunities, or dedication from teachers/parents/other role models to help guide those kids out of the situations they're in. 99% of a parent's job is to teach their child how to gage what they should or shouldn't do...if a child doesn't have that guidance from their parents, they generally get it from their teachers...if not their teachers, then the after-school program counselors...but what if there's nothing there? Kids are called kids because they can't be left to their own devices to make good life choices.

Anyway. I'm guilty of blaming others as well, but part of my religious practice now is to be mindful, and that includes of all things (not just of happiness, but of anger and jealousy, etc). I think you have to find the balance; some things are legitimate things to blame on someone or something, and some simply aren't. On one end of the scale you take too much on yourself that maybe you can't handle; at the other end you don't take on enough. But, society today doesn't do so well with moderation.[/b]
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  #7  
May 6th, 2007, 05:04 PM
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I think it all depends on the individual. So many people have proven time and time again that it is possible to rise up from adversity in life, but there will always be people who are lazy and don't have good attitudes about life, and they will just never get anywhere.
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  #8  
May 6th, 2007, 05:07 PM
Ms.Michelle
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I think everyone has personal responsiblity. I just don't miminalize why a person gets from point a to point b.
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  #9  
May 6th, 2007, 05:10 PM
Caeden&#39;sMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Maybe it's just me but it seems that a lot of people in our society are always looking for someone to blame for their actions.

I've seen it in all sorts of ways. Think about a lot of the criminals that are being prosecuted they are almost always looking for someone else to blame.

You hear people who commit crimes, do drugs or drink excessively blame the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents. Well at what point do you have to become an adult and be responsible for your own actions and say "well such and such happened to me but I don't have to let it control the rest of my life."

Parents blame society for the way that their children act or dress. I don't think it's societies fault. Why didn't you (general) as a parent teach your child that those things aren't ok?

So many want to blame their parents, society, the government, or whomever else they can think of but yet very few take that look in the mirror and say..."hmm...maybe I screwed up my own life."

Yes, I believe society, culture, the way you were raised all play a vital role in who you are but at some point you have to take responsibility for yourself.

The black and white debate made me think about some of this. Several people mentioned that it is hard for people who live in poverty to find a way out of it because others are holding them down. While that may be true in some sense they also have to be willing to help themselves.

My husband grew up in an incredibly abusive and poor family. His family mostly lived off of what the government provided. The area in which he grew up was riddled with drugs and crime. He was beaten regularly by his stepfather and I mean beaten to the point where several times he had to be hospitalized. He rarely ate more than one meal a day. Education was never important to his family, his parents couldn't have cared less if he went to school. He was finally kicked out of his home when he was barely 17 because his mother chose his stepfather over him.

He lived with a friend and worked until he finished high school. He then took on 2 full time jobs and worked that way for several years. He saved enough money to buy a place to live and earn his own way. Everything he has in his life is because he worked his behind off for it. He knew no one else was going to help him or hand him anything. Even though things were rough for him he considers himself a better person for it because it made him value hard work.

So honestly it is hard for me to take poverty as an excuse for turning to a life of crime and dealing drugs. Sometimes you can't be afraid of a little hard work.

When in life do we have to take responsibility for our actions and stop blaming everyone else?[/b]

Quote:
I agree with you 100%, in that it's frustrating to watch people continually not take responsibility for their actions.

I'm torn on the poverty debate. My mother grew up in extreme poverty; she lived in a primarily black neighborhood and got beat up just about everyday because she was white. The school system she was in was awful, but regardless, she struggled hard and got a good job, moved out, made something of her life without resorting to selling drugs or something similarly illegal. On the other hand, low-income neighborhoods simply don't have the same opportunities, or dedication from teachers/parents/other role models to help guide those kids out of the situations they're in. 99% of a parent's job is to teach their child how to gage what they should or shouldn't do...if a child doesn't have that guidance from their parents, they generally get it from their teachers...if not their teachers, then the after-school program counselors...but what if there's nothing there? Kids are called kids because they can't be left to their own devices to make good life choices.

Anyway. I'm guilty of blaming others as well, but part of my religious practice now is to be mindful, and that includes of all things (not just of happiness, but of anger and jealousy, etc). I think you have to find the balance; some things are legitimate things to blame on someone or something, and some simply aren't. On one end of the scale you take too much on yourself that maybe you can't handle; at the other end you don't take on enough. But, society today doesn't do so well with moderation.[/b]
to both these posts... i couldn't agree more!
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  #10  
May 6th, 2007, 05:49 PM
MJ27
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I agree that everyone has personal responsibility but I do not agree with your assesment that laziness is what always holds a person back in life. There are other issues to consider like depression and the power of perspective. And do not underestimate the significance of what your parents teach you. You can be taught that there are options and you can be taught, actively taught, that there are none. I don't see how it is any different from the person who is taught they are ugly and worthless and then struggle to achieve a high self esteem, or someone who is taught that another race is inferior and then attempts to rectify their racist attitude. There are, I am sure, many things that I could roll my eyes about regarding your lack of understanding on a situation or concept, that doesn't make you lazy or unintelligent, it just shows how different your perspective on things is. People use their circumstances as an excuse in every aspect of life and I think we all do it to an extent, but that doesn't categorically mean every person who uses drugs or makes bad choices is just lazy or full of excuses. That is a really narrow minded view of life. Also, for every anecdote that you can share about how so and so overcame their terrible upbringing and lack of options to achieve greatness you can bring up 100s more that have had a bleak and depressing future. It is hard to overcome upbringing, just as hard as it is for some one to lose weight or for others to leave abusive relationships. So give your DH credit where credit is due because it is hard to overcome obstacles like that, and in my opinion it takes unique qualities to do it easily, though it most certainly can be done. Maybe the real question is why do we waste our time judging others when we can take more positive and active roles of support and encouragement within our communities?
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  #11  
May 6th, 2007, 06:01 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Location: New Jersey
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Quote:
I agree that everyone has personal responsibility but I do not agree with your assesment that laziness is what always holds a person back in life. There are other issues to consider like depression and the power of perspective. And do not underestimate the significance of what your parents teach you. You can be taught that there are options and you can be taught, actively taught, that there are none. I don't see how it is any different from the person who is taught they are ugly and worthless and then struggle to achieve a high self esteem, or someone who is taught that another race is inferior and then attempts to rectify their racist attitude. There are, I am sure, many things that I could roll my eyes about regarding your lack of understanding on a situation or concept, that doesn't make you lazy or unintelligent, it just shows how different your perspective on things is. People use their circumstances as an excuse in every aspect of life and I think we all do it to an extent, but that doesn't categorically mean every person who uses drugs or makes bad choices is just lazy or full of excuses. That is a really narrow minded view of life. Also, for every anecdote that you can share about how so and so overcame their terrible upbringing and lack of options to achieve greatness you can bring up 100s more that have had a bleak and depressing future. It is hard to overcome upbringing, just as hard as it is for some one to lose weight or for others to leave abusive relationships. So give your DH credit where credit is due because it is hard to overcome obstacles like that, and in my opinion it takes unique qualities to do it easily, though it most certainly can be done. Maybe the real question is why do we waste our time judging others when we can take more positive and active roles of support and encouragement within our communities?[/b]

I never said that laziness was the reason for people being held back in life. I'm saying that too many people want to blame others for their problems. Yes, people will try to hold you down, discourage you, teach you things that aren't right, but at some point you have to begin to figure things out on your own. It is important to learn to form your own opinions, decide what you want and don't want in your own life, and take responsibility for the choices you make.

You're right that people do use their circumstances as excuses in all aspects of life but that doesn't mean that they should. How are people ever going to overcome anything if they don't wake up and say "my current situation is not what I want for my future and it does not define who I am."

Yes, we can take on a more positive and active roles in society which is why I decided to become an elementary school teacher. However, it is nearly impossible to help someone who does not want to be helped or who does not feel that they need any help.
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  #12  
May 6th, 2007, 06:05 PM
Wolfmama09's Avatar " He's a marshmallow!"
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i agree that people take on teh whole"woe is me" mentality and want to balme others for why they fail to not succeed in certain things. I agree with all posts thus far!
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  #13  
May 6th, 2007, 08:33 PM
Mom2DavidandAaron's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Maybe it's just me but it seems that a lot of people in our society are always looking for someone to blame for their actions.

I've seen it in all sorts of ways. Think about a lot of the criminals that are being prosecuted they are almost always looking for someone else to blame.

You hear people who commit crimes, do drugs or drink excessively blame the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents. Well at what point do you have to become an adult and be responsible for your own actions and say "well such and such happened to me but I don't have to let it control the rest of my life."

Parents blame society for the way that their children act or dress. I don't think it's societies fault. Why didn't you (general) as a parent teach your child that those things aren't ok?

So many want to blame their parents, society, the government, or whomever else they can think of but yet very few take that look in the mirror and say..."hmm...maybe I screwed up my own life."

Yes, I believe society, culture, the way you were raised all play a vital role in who you are but at some point you have to take responsibility for yourself.

The black and white debate made me think about some of this. Several people mentioned that it is hard for people who live in poverty to find a way out of it because others are holding them down. While that may be true in some sense they also have to be willing to help themselves.

My husband grew up in an incredibly abusive and poor family. His family mostly lived off of what the government provided. The area in which he grew up was riddled with drugs and crime. He was beaten regularly by his stepfather and I mean beaten to the point where several times he had to be hospitalized. He rarely ate more than one meal a day. Education was never important to his family, his parents couldn't have cared less if he went to school. He was finally kicked out of his home when he was barely 17 because his mother chose his stepfather over him.

He lived with a friend and worked until he finished high school. He then took on 2 full time jobs and worked that way for several years. He saved enough money to buy a place to live and earn his own way. Everything he has in his life is because he worked his behind off for it. He knew no one else was going to help him or hand him anything. Even though things were rough for him he considers himself a better person for it because it made him value hard work.

So honestly it is hard for me to take poverty as an excuse for turning to a life of crime and dealing drugs. Sometimes you can't be afraid of a little hard work.

When in life do we have to take responsibility for our actions and stop blaming everyone else?[/b]
Very well said!!
I'm a strong advocate for personal responsibility. it's always so much easier to blame someone else or blame the circumstances than to take responsibility and control of our lives. Sure, bad things happen, but how we react to those things and how we use them as experiences is entirely up to us.

Sharon
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  #14  
May 6th, 2007, 08:49 PM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I agree that everyone has personal responsibility but I do not agree with your assesment that laziness is what always holds a person back in life. There are other issues to consider like depression and the power of perspective. And do not underestimate the significance of what your parents teach you. You can be taught that there are options and you can be taught, actively taught, that there are none. I don't see how it is any different from the person who is taught they are ugly and worthless and then struggle to achieve a high self esteem, or someone who is taught that another race is inferior and then attempts to rectify their racist attitude. There are, I am sure, many things that I could roll my eyes about regarding your lack of understanding on a situation or concept, that doesn't make you lazy or unintelligent, it just shows how different your perspective on things is. People use their circumstances as an excuse in every aspect of life and I think we all do it to an extent, but that doesn't categorically mean every person who uses drugs or makes bad choices is just lazy or full of excuses. That is a really narrow minded view of life. Also, for every anecdote that you can share about how so and so overcame their terrible upbringing and lack of options to achieve greatness you can bring up 100s more that have had a bleak and depressing future. It is hard to overcome upbringing, just as hard as it is for some one to lose weight or for others to leave abusive relationships. So give your DH credit where credit is due because it is hard to overcome obstacles like that, and in my opinion it takes unique qualities to do it easily, though it most certainly can be done. Maybe the real question is why do we waste our time judging others when we can take more positive and active roles of support and encouragement within our communities?[/b]
I agree 100% Great post!
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  #15  
May 7th, 2007, 09:45 AM
lschultz's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
I find it hard to believe that the way you are brought up sets your life[/b]
It does not determine the rest of your life but, it can complicate it and make it ALOT more difficult to come out of and start fresh. It takes resources, a very determined and strong person.

For instance if education was never made a big deal growing up for you to come back and try to regain that is extremely hard. If as a teenager you work but all your money goes to your parents how can you ever get out on your own? If all you have ever been told is your a pathetic loser you begin to believe that and live it and it takes help that you may not have access to, to get it. I dont believe a person can rise above without help. Some people never get help. Their are plenty of enablers out their but, rarely does someone intervene to help. If someone is being offered help they have no excuse.
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  #16  
May 7th, 2007, 12:49 PM
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I do agree, we [general population] fault others for problems. While some things I do agree, can be overcome, there is also individual diferences in experiences, personalities, and more that can affect how one views and deals with a situation.

Quote:
You hear people who commit crimes, do drugs or drink excessively blame the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents. Well at what point do you have to become an adult and be responsible for your own actions and say "well such and such happened to me but I don't have to let it control the rest of my life."[/b]
I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way. When you say, "don't have to let it control the rest of my life", it sounds like your saying that the person should just "forget" what happened. I think, everybody at one point or another has stood at the crossroad and choosen to deal with what ever happened or is happening in a positive or negative manner. And some things you can just relinquish control, because you are still in the situation, or are constantly reminded of the situation. Also, the quote, "Monkey see, Monkey do", if all you have known your entire life is drinking and drugs or whatnot, you wouldn't know any other more positive way to cope with "what happened". Just one person, giving a child in proverty hope to one day have a better life, or a child who is brought down time and time again, that they are smart, or they are pretty, or they are capable can make all the difference in the world.

So, there thats my ramble
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  #17  
May 7th, 2007, 01:13 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Quote:
I do agree, we [general population] fault others for problems. While some things I do agree, can be overcome, there is also individual diferences in experiences, personalities, and more that can affect how one views and deals with a situation.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
You hear people who commit crimes, do drugs or drink excessively blame the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents. Well at what point do you have to become an adult and be responsible for your own actions and say "well such and such happened to me but I don't have to let it control the rest of my life."[/b]
I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way. When you say, "don't have to let it control the rest of my life", it sounds like your saying that the person should just "forget" what happened. I think, everybody at one point or another has stood at the crossroad and choosen to deal with what ever happened or is happening in a positive or negative manner. And some things you can just relinquish control, because you are still in the situation, or are constantly reminded of the situation. Also, the quote, "Monkey see, Monkey do", if all you have known your entire life is drinking and drugs or whatnot, you wouldn't know any other more positive way to cope with "what happened". Just one person, giving a child in proverty hope to one day have a better life, or a child who is brought down time and time again, that they are smart, or they are pretty, or they are capable can make all the difference in the world.

So, there thats my ramble
[/b][/quote]


That is not at all what I am saying! I am saying that at some point you have to realize that you can't let all of that control the rest of your life. You can't always use it as an excuse. If we all let the bad things that happen to us keep us down no one would ever accomplish anything. We shouldn't forget what has happened to us but at some point we have to move past it.

It is hard to do the right thing when all you have even seen is the wrong thing. I just think that at some point you can't keep blaming everyone else for the way you live your life.
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  #18  
May 7th, 2007, 01:20 PM
Ms.Michelle
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Quote:
Quote:
I do agree, we [general population] fault others for problems. While some things I do agree, can be overcome, there is also individual diferences in experiences, personalities, and more that can affect how one views and deals with a situation.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
<div class='quotemain'>
You hear people who commit crimes, do drugs or drink excessively blame the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents. Well at what point do you have to become an adult and be responsible for your own actions and say "well such and such happened to me but I don't have to let it control the rest of my life."[/b]
I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way. When you say, "don't have to let it control the rest of my life", it sounds like your saying that the person should just "forget" what happened. I think, everybody at one point or another has stood at the crossroad and choosen to deal with what ever happened or is happening in a positive or negative manner. And some things you can just relinquish control, because you are still in the situation, or are constantly reminded of the situation. Also, the quote, "Monkey see, Monkey do", if all you have known your entire life is drinking and drugs or whatnot, you wouldn't know any other more positive way to cope with "what happened". Just one person, giving a child in proverty hope to one day have a better life, or a child who is brought down time and time again, that they are smart, or they are pretty, or they are capable can make all the difference in the world.

So, there thats my ramble
[/b][/quote]


That is not at all what I am saying! I am saying that at some point you have to realize that you can't let all of that control the rest of your life. You can't always use it as an excuse. If we all let the bad things that happen to us keep us down no one would ever accomplish anything. We shouldn't forget what has happened to us but at some point we have to move past it.

It is hard to do the right thing when all you have even seen is the wrong thing. I just think that at some point you can't keep blaming everyone else for the way you live your life.
[/b][/quote]
It requires maturity to take responsibility. People who don't weren't taught how to be responsible. They need tools from somewhere. That's why jails needs to provide help so these people don't reoffend.

(BTW: I always get a kick out of your posts because you play both sides.)
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  #19  
May 7th, 2007, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
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I do agree, we [general population] fault others for problems. While some things I do agree, can be overcome, there is also individual diferences in experiences, personalities, and more that can affect how one views and deals with a situation.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
<div class='quotemain'>
You hear people who commit crimes, do drugs or drink excessively blame the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents. Well at what point do you have to become an adult and be responsible for your own actions and say "well such and such happened to me but I don't have to let it control the rest of my life."[/b]
I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way. When you say, "don't have to let it control the rest of my life", it sounds like your saying that the person should just "forget" what happened. I think, everybody at one point or another has stood at the crossroad and choosen to deal with what ever happened or is happening in a positive or negative manner. And some things you can just relinquish control, because you are still in the situation, or are constantly reminded of the situation. Also, the quote, "Monkey see, Monkey do", if all you have known your entire life is drinking and drugs or whatnot, you wouldn't know any other more positive way to cope with "what happened". Just one person, giving a child in proverty hope to one day have a better life, or a child who is brought down time and time again, that they are smart, or they are pretty, or they are capable can make all the difference in the world.

So, there thats my ramble
[/b]

That is not at all what I am saying! I am saying that at some point you have to realize that you can't let all of that control the rest of your life. You can't always use it as an excuse. If we all let the bad things that happen to us keep us down no one would ever accomplish anything. We shouldn't forget what has happened to us but at some point we have to move past it.

It is hard to do the right thing when all you have even seen is the wrong thing. I just think that at some point you can't keep blaming everyone else for the way you live your life.
[/b][/quote]
It requires maturity to take responsibility. People who don't weren't taught how to be responsible. They need tools from somewhere. That's why jails needs to provide help so these people don't reoffend.

(BTW: I always get a kick out of your posts because you play both sides.)
[/b][/quote]


LOL! I am just one of those people who very rarely sees things in black and white. I think almost everything in life has so many shades of gray that it is hard for me to ever say this is definitely right and this is definitely wrong.

Like in this thread I completely do understand how difficult it can be to overcome obstacles in life. It can take a tremendous amount of courage and responsibility. I just think that people have to stop waiting around for a leg up in life or for someone to come point them in the right direction. Is it easy to change your life..of course not...can it be done...of course it can!
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  #20  
May 8th, 2007, 07:31 AM
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Ok, I get what your saying

I think part of moving past something, may involve blaming others - before they realize that its up to the individual.

[My DH is a huge - our problems are because of Joe, Bill, and Susan *random names*. It drives me absoultly crazy. So, to me, until he realizes that its not Joe, Bill and Susan's fault we have problems, we're going to keep going in the same circle. -- I'll leave it at that before I go totally off topic ]

[[Perhaps we should have another debate about teaching children to be responsible for actions...can't think the best way to word it though...and I gotta go run errands ]
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