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  #1  
May 8th, 2007, 09:42 AM
*Leslie*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I haven't seen anything like this before in the time that I have been around and I was thinking about this the other day....

What does it mean to love someone?
Do you have to be willing to do ANYTHING for them, if no short of what?
Does true love really never die?
Do you believe in one soulmate for each person, or many people right for you at different times in your life?
Does love mean giving up things for that person even if they are huge things like going against your family?
If you don't give up those things, can you still say you love that person?
If you love someone do you not have to question it?

I have about a million things running through my head, so I'm really interested to see what you all have to say!
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  #2  
May 8th, 2007, 10:47 AM
Aeterna's Avatar Super Speshil
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How do you debate love? It can mean something different to everybody.

What does it mean to love someone? I believe in that whole "love is a verb" thing. Love is choices, love is action.

I also don't buy into the "I fell in love" concept. If you can fall in, you can fall out. That's all Phileo love, which often doesn't make for a strong or lasting marriage. I didn't fall into anything. I made a choice, and I continue to make that choice. The core of love shouldn't be, "I love you because..." I think having certain qualities help a couple to grow together and mature in their relationship.

Saying I fell into something implies I didn't have a choice.



Do you have to be willing to do ANYTHING for them, if no short of what? Willingness or compromise is one thing, but "anything" is too broad. If it goes against my core beliefs, no.

Does true love really never die? It may slip into a coma every now and then. Nah, I'm playing. If my husband were to pass, I will always love him. He was the one God chose for me. The love we shared surely wouldn't die. There would be a special place in my heart for him. Not sure if that answers your question.

Do you believe in one soulmate for each person, or many people right for you at different times in your life? Yes, I think there is more than one "right" person for me. Of course, the "right" man is all in God's choosing.

Does love mean giving up things for that person even if they are huge things like going against your family? Depends on what I'd be going against. I feel it as a choice, nonetheless. The choices I make represent my love for the person. Sure, it's also feelings of emotion, but emotion isn't what guides me to make all of my choices. There are many ways you can show you love someone, I guess taking sides on a particular matter is one way.

If you don't give up those things, can you still say you love that person? Yes, though there are so many different scenarios that my answer would slightly differ with each.

If you love someone do you not have to question it? I don't pose the "do I still love them" or "should I continue loving him" questions; however, I do ask myself, more of a reassurance, "why do I love him." And I'll give him my answers. It's a reminder of why I made the choice when we first married and why I continue to.
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  #3  
May 8th, 2007, 11:43 AM
*Leslie*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
How do you debate love? It can mean something different to everybody.

What does it mean to love someone? I believe in that whole "love is a verb" thing. Love is choices, love is action.

I also don't buy into the "I fell in love" concept. If you can fall in, you can fall out. That's all Phileo love, which often doesn't make for a strong or lasting marriage. I didn't fall into anything. I made a choice, and I continue to make that choice. The core of love shouldn't be, "I love you because..." I think having certain qualities help a couple to grow together and mature in their relationship.

Saying I fell into something implies I didn't have a choice.



Do you have to be willing to do ANYTHING for them, if no short of what? Willingness or compromise is one thing, but "anything" is too broad. If it goes against my core beliefs, no.

Does true love really never die? It may slip into a coma every now and then. Nah, I'm playing. If my husband were to pass, I will always love him. He was the one God chose for me. The love we shared surely wouldn't die. There would be a special place in my heart for him. Not sure if that answers your question.

Do you believe in one soulmate for each person, or many people right for you at different times in your life? Yes, I think there is more than one "right" person for me. Of course, the "right" man is all in God's choosing.

Does love mean giving up things for that person even if they are huge things like going against your family? Depends on what I'd be going against. I feel it as a choice, nonetheless. The choices I make represent my love for the person. Sure, it's also feelings of emotion, but emotion isn't what guides me to make all of my choices. There are many ways you can show you love someone, I guess taking sides on a particular matter is one way.

If you don't give up those things, can you still say you love that person? Yes, though there are so many different scenarios that my answer would slightly differ with each.

If you love someone do you not have to question it? I don't pose the "do I still love them" or "should I continue loving him" questions; however, I do ask myself, more of a reassurance, "why do I love him." And I'll give him my answers. It's a reminder of why I made the choice when we first married and why I continue to.[/b]
Great well thought out answers..... I feel the same way about a lot of what you said.....
and I guess debating love is just like debating anything else to me.... Murder means something different to everyone, spanking is differentiated from abbuse by everyone in different ways, etc.....
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  #4  
May 8th, 2007, 12:01 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Quote:
I haven't seen anything like this before in the time that I have been around and I was thinking about this the other day....

What does it mean to love someone? I think it means different things to different people. For me it is knowing that that person is the one I want beside me through everything in life. I want to share all of my happy and sad times with him.

Do you have to be willing to do ANYTHING for them, if no short of what? No, I don't think you have to be willing to do anything. I don't think that person should expect you to completely change who you are to make them happy. You love should love someone for who they already are, not for what you want them to become. I wouldn't murder someone if my husband said I had to to prove that I love him.

Does true love really never die? I really don't know but I hope it doesn't.

Do you believe in one soulmate for each person, or many people right for you at different times in your life? I think different people are right for you at different times in your life. I think that you can find someone who is right for the rest of your life though.

Does love mean giving up things for that person even if they are huge things like going against your family? It can mean that but hopefully it doesn't have too. If my parents decided tomorrow that they no longer liked my DH and said they'd kick me out of the family for staying with them then I think I'd have to say good bye to my family.

If you don't give up those things, can you still say you love that person? I think it really depends on the situation. There are too many scenarios for me to answer this one definitely.

If you love someone do you not have to question it? I don't ever question my love for my DH but they may not be true for everyone. I think past experiences can truly effect this.

I have about a million things running through my head, so I'm really interested to see what you all have to say![/b]
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  #5  
May 8th, 2007, 03:18 PM
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Posts: 9,497
Quote:
How do you debate love? It can mean something different to everybody.

What does it mean to love someone? I believe in that whole "love is a verb" thing. Love is choices, love is action.

I also don't buy into the "I fell in love" concept. If you can fall in, you can fall out. That's all Phileo love, which often doesn't make for a strong or lasting marriage. I didn't fall into anything. I made a choice, and I continue to make that choice. The core of love shouldn't be, "I love you because..." I think having certain qualities help a couple to grow together and mature in their relationship.

Saying I fell into something implies I didn't have a choice.



Do you have to be willing to do ANYTHING for them, if no short of what? Willingness or compromise is one thing, but "anything" is too broad. If it goes against my core beliefs, no.

Does true love really never die? It may slip into a coma every now and then. Nah, I'm playing. If my husband were to pass, I will always love him. He was the one God chose for me. The love we shared surely wouldn't die. There would be a special place in my heart for him. Not sure if that answers your question.

Do you believe in one soulmate for each person, or many people right for you at different times in your life? Yes, I think there is more than one "right" person for me. Of course, the "right" man is all in God's choosing.

Does love mean giving up things for that person even if they are huge things like going against your family? Depends on what I'd be going against. I feel it as a choice, nonetheless. The choices I make represent my love for the person. Sure, it's also feelings of emotion, but emotion isn't what guides me to make all of my choices. There are many ways you can show you love someone, I guess taking sides on a particular matter is one way.

If you don't give up those things, can you still say you love that person? Yes, though there are so many different scenarios that my answer would slightly differ with each.

If you love someone do you not have to question it? I don't pose the "do I still love them" or "should I continue loving him" questions; however, I do ask myself, more of a reassurance, "why do I love him." And I'll give him my answers. It's a reminder of why I made the choice when we first married and why I continue to.[/b]
Yupp...
The only thing I can add is, I don't think relationships survive on love alone, there are other emotions involved the help to hold a relationship together. Like a commitment to the relationship, caring for the other person, and stuff like that. I think marriage founded soley on love and nothing else, are more likely to be ask risk for marriage problems.
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  #6  
May 8th, 2007, 04:45 PM
donomama
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What does it mean to love someone? I agree that love is an action. I don't think you can *be in love* with someone, but you can *love* someone.


Do you have to be willing to do ANYTHING for them, if no short of what? I would never sacrifice who I am for love or harm my children for love.


Does true love really never die? I don't know... My husband and I have been talking about this a lot lately because of a situation in his family. I don't think that if you are both actively involved and committed to your relationship that true love can die.


Do you believe in one soulmate for each person, or many people right for you at different times in your life? I don't believe in soulmates, but I also don't believe in many soul mates. I believe that you choose who you want to be with, and through hard work and dedicating yourself to that person, you can become soulmates, in a sense. I dont' believe that everyone on this earth has one person that they are destined to find. If two people work at it, and have the same goals in common, I think they could make a relationship work.


Does love mean giving up things for that person even if they are huge things like going against your family?
If you don't give up those things, can you still say you love that person?
If you love someone do you not have to question it?
It depends. I think if you have a healthy family relationship and they are totally against the person you are with, that is a red flag. However, I don't think a family always knows what is best for the individual, especially if the relationship is strained at all.
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  #7  
May 8th, 2007, 04:59 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,925
Do you have to be willing to do ANYTHING for them, if no short of what?

No, that is not love, that is more co-dependency.


Does true love really never die?

There is no such thing as true love all love is true, love is love is love, there are just different degrees. Like everything, even love can end.

Do you believe in one soulmate for each person, or many people right for you at different times in your life?

Soul mates is a dangerous concept. If you think there is one person out there that can totally fulfill you you may end up in danger. Only YOU can make you happy, expecting another person to totally fulfill you is just wrong, it doesn't happen that way.

Everyone has different definitions of soul mates though.


Does love mean giving up things for that person even if they are huge things like going against your family?

I can't answer that, I would take that on a case to case basis, I can not make a blanket statement either way.

If you don't give up those things, can you still say you love that person?

Yes.


If you love someone do you not have to question it?
I think it is healthy to question most things. I think most people will question their love for their spouse at one point or another. If it is a passing question it most likely means nothing, if it is something you are questioning a lot then steps need to be taken to make the relationship better.


It is so hard to answer these questions.
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