Log In Sign Up

Potty Training


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

View Poll Results: Who should decide when it's time?
Parents 5 25.00%
Child 6 30.00%
Other (please explain) 9 45.00%
Voters: 20. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
May 8th, 2007, 01:15 PM
Pure Innocence
Guest
Posts: n/a
<div align="center"> Potty Training </div>

Is it up to the parent when to potty train or is it up to the child to decide when to potty train?

If you leave it up to the child to decide when to potty train, do you think it's fair to expect ppl who may watch your child to change them if theyC are uncomfortable doing so? Do you think it's wrong of family members to refuse to change your child (if you ask them because you are like doing the dishes or something..I don't know lol) if they are uncomfortable doing so?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
May 8th, 2007, 01:20 PM
donomama
Guest
Posts: n/a
I voted other. I think it's up to both. The parent ultimately decides, but they need to follow their child's cues and start when the child is ready. I know a family that has decided to let their child decide when she wants to be potty trained. Well, she is nearly 4, still in diapers, and absolutely has no interest. She goes to the same preschool as my daughter and they told her mom that she won't be allowed in the 4 year old class next year if she's still not potty trained. I think most kids, unless they have a delay or something, should be at least started by the time they are 3.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
May 8th, 2007, 01:24 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: *queen city* of North Carolina
Posts: 9,497
I voted other. Its a joint effort. If a child isn't ready the child isn't ready. And the parent pushing can be more harm then good. Some kids need the parents "push" to start potty training.

DD is 10 months old and we'll probably start potty training soon after she turns one because she already shows an interest in the potty and how it works, and stuff.
__________________
Proud Mommy To My Princess (5)
Watching over us -- August 2005, March 2010, October 2010, July 2011
Reply With Quote
  #4  
May 8th, 2007, 01:24 PM
Tofu Bacon
Guest
Posts: n/a
I picked other because it needs to be a joint effort. Deciding that "its time" because your toddler is showing most of the signs is okay...but we also need to be prepared to back off if they resist becuase they are smart enough to know that ultimately no one can "make" them go. My 26 month old shows all of the signs and will even bring me a dry diaper and let me know he is wet/dirty. He wants to use the potty and I've been working with him, but he just isn't able to grasp that he needs to either go to the potty or let me know when he needs to go. He's still young yet so I am letting him lead, but I think once they get past 3 or 3.5 the parent needs to push more than they would with a 2 year old.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
May 8th, 2007, 01:29 PM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Annapolis, MD
Posts: 3,759
Send a message via AIM to lotus86 Send a message via Yahoo to lotus86
I voted other. It should be parent-led but the parent should respect when the child is ready or isn't ready, because pushing the issue will just make it harder in the long run. Pure Innocence can I add a question to this or do you want me to do a spinoff? I have another question that has to do with potty training and rewards.
__________________
<div align="center"><div align='center'></div><div align="center"></div></div>
Reply With Quote
  #6  
May 8th, 2007, 01:32 PM
Pure Innocence
Guest
Posts: n/a
Go ahead add w/e!!! I really thought this would be much more controversial than what it is.....everyone is agreeing, I'm not used to that! LOL!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
May 8th, 2007, 02:03 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Offutt AFB, NE
Posts: 19,799
Send a message via AIM to frgsonmysox Send a message via MSN to frgsonmysox Send a message via Yahoo to frgsonmysox
I said child. But I'm of the camp that believes in a lot of child led stuff. I've talked to anthony about the potty. He knows its there and what its for, but I don't press the issue. He's not ready yet. And when he's ready we'll go. Most kids will potty train themselves around their 3rd birthday if the issue isn't pressed. A lot of kids rebel when forced to potty train.
__________________
~Beth~ Wife to my Airman Chris, and mommy to: Anthony Nathaniel (8/31/04), Anastasia Fae (8/01/06), Baby C (lost on 10/12/07), David Cillian (7/31/08), Charles George (4/29/10), and Alan Christopher (2/22/12)





My BLOG - A Day In The Life of a Freg (it's a little bit of everything!)
Reply With Quote
  #8  
May 8th, 2007, 02:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lafayette, Indiana
Posts: 4,213
I say both. I'm not really educated about potty training but I can't imagine letting it be totally child-led as some kids might choose to stay in diapers forever. But, I definately think that parents need to ease the child into the transition from diaper to potty by following their cues and making it a fun thing vs. a "goal"
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #9  
May 8th, 2007, 02:43 PM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mallorca (Spain)
Posts: 8,652
I voted other because unfortunately,we dont have much of a choice here.
Kids here have to start school by 3 years old (by law) and depending on what month they were born in,some will only be 32 months old,and our schools dont allow children to be in their diapers.They have to be 100% potty trained before they start.(This is proper school,not kindergarden:they have books and have to carry their own school bags etc,and they have to hold their peepee during class ).
They also have to know how to dress alone (doing up buttons,zippers etc) and how to eat alone (knife and fork).That seems alot for a 3 year old to have to do..but try telling the schools that
My son was a difficult case because he really didnt want to use the toilet (he was affraid of it) so I had to start potty training him when he was just a year and a half old so that he´d be totally potty trained by 3 years old..it was VERY hard and he fought against it for months.
With my daughter it was easier..she wanted to use the toilet and wanted to be a big girl..so by the age of 20 months,she was out of her diapers for good.
If I had had a choice,I would have potty trained my son in a calmer manner and just ket him realise for himself that the toilet wasnt going to swallow him up lol.
__________________


Thank you SO much for my new siggy Julia (Julka)!




Reply With Quote
  #10  
May 8th, 2007, 02:48 PM
ChasingClio's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 611
I said other for the same reasons PP's have said. I think it's a joint venture, both the parent and child have to be ready. My DD pretty much started potty training herself around 20 months and we followed her cues and just encouraged her, so I guess in our case it was mostly child led, but I dunno, I still feel like we played a part. Lol, I can take some credit, right?
__________________
Kim: MA in History finally accomplished May 2010!, Wife to Alan, a Washington DC firefighter, Mommy to Savannah (9-15-04), Felicity (2-17-08), and Samson (1-8-09)
Reply With Quote
  #12  
May 8th, 2007, 03:10 PM
Jacquie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,973
I said parent, but when I chose that, I was thinking that the parent would make the call partially based on signs from the child so I guess other would have been more appropriate.

In all of my infinite wisdom (I've never potty trained a child before ), I do feel that as parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children things like going to the potty. Going in the toilet is not something that will hurt them physically. If it's your 2 year-old child's bedtime, and he/she simply doesn't want to go to sleep, don't you still send them to bed? Everyone is different, so maybe some would let him/her stay up, but certainly not indefinitely. I know plenty of people who put their kids in bed even though they may not sleep right away. What is the difference between that and putting them on the toilet even though they may not pee right away? I don't mean just randomly, I mean at a time when you feel that they may be able to pee.
__________________
TTC #1:
5/20/05:
5/27/05:
5/28/05: miscarriage
08/27/05:
08/30/05: miscarriage
01/15/05: misdiagnosed with PCOS
08/29/06: first appt at fertility clinic (was already pregnant with dd and didn't know it)
08/31/06:
05/16/07: DD was born

TTC #2:
11/13/09: let's try again!
03/10/10: tests with new OB - everything totally normal for DH and I, no indication of pcos; officially diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility"
04/21/10 - 10/13/10: 7 unsuccessful rounds of clomid with OB
11/13/10 - 14/23/11: 3 unsuccessful IUI's with clomid at fertility clinic
07/27/11: ER for IVF - retrieved 27; 17 were mature enough to fertilize; all 17 fertilized; 11 made it to day 3 embryos; 6 made it to day 6 blasts. Transferred 1, froze 5.
08/08/11: positive hpt!
08/13/11 - 08/20/11: positive blood test (186), but cramping and bleeding. 2 days later, blood at 275; 2 days later, blood at 21. Inevitable miscarriage.
10/13/11: start suprefact for first FET
Reply With Quote
  #13  
May 8th, 2007, 03:18 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 39,051
I think it is a joint effort but mostly the parent's decision. Like Gina above mentioned in other countries children have to be potty trained by age 3 so that they can go to school. I doubt those countries are overrun by "messed up" kids who were forced to potty train.

Many years ago most kids were potty trained a whole lot sooner than they are now. I think if it were left up to some kids they'd almost never want to do it.
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #14  
May 8th, 2007, 04:21 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,288
Send a message via Yahoo to jhmomofmany
I used to think it should be up to the child, which is why my first three kids weren't potty trained until almost four. It wasn't "normal" for four-year-olds to wear diapers until Pampers decided to start making 'em that big and hire a doctor for their commercials to convince parents that many kids aren't "ready" until then. I voted that it should be up to the parents, and I think the sooner the better.
__________________
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



Reply With Quote
  #15  
May 8th, 2007, 04:23 PM
Tofu Bacon
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
What is the difference between that and putting them on the toilet even though they may not pee right away? I don't mean just randomly, I mean at a time when you feel that they may be able to pee[/b]
The whole object of the game, especially with a 2 year old, is to *keep* them on the potty; 2 they can be quite contrary. Even if you catch them right when they need to go, if they simply aren't ready to pee/poop on the potty they will most likely hold it in when you park them on the potty, and then run off and pee on the floor as soon as you let them go. My son loves to sit on his potty and even brings it to bed with him at night (I only wish I was kidding), but can't quite grasp what to do and when.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
May 8th, 2007, 04:25 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Texas
Posts: 17,679
We are going to EC, so we will start at a few weeks over the potty, alternating with cloth diapers, and using EC cues. We hope to be out of diapers by about a year, wearing one at night but thats about it
__________________
"I will make it through this because it is for her and for her, I will do anything. I am not brave, I am not strong, I am just Rhiannon’s mom". Our TTC/Adoption/Pregnancy Blog: Jump Over The Rainbow

Reply With Quote
  #17  
May 8th, 2007, 04:27 PM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Annapolis, MD
Posts: 3,759
Send a message via AIM to lotus86 Send a message via Yahoo to lotus86
Ok, here's my question: how do you all feel about the use of rewards for successful trips to the potty? A family I nannied for used the tiny chocolate chips as a reward, along with special stickers, one of each for pee and 2 for poop. Do you think this helps get kids motivated if they see they are doing something good, or do you think it's a bad idea?
Discuss.
__________________
<div align="center"><div align='center'></div><div align="center"></div></div>
Reply With Quote
  #18  
May 8th, 2007, 04:28 PM
Tofu Bacon
Guest
Posts: n/a
^^ If I had it to do all over again, I would have done EC at least part time.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
May 8th, 2007, 04:28 PM
Pure Innocence
Guest
Posts: n/a
I don't see anything wrong with it...but I'll see where I stand after others opinions.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
May 8th, 2007, 04:30 PM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Annapolis, MD
Posts: 3,759
Send a message via AIM to lotus86 Send a message via Yahoo to lotus86
Quote:
I don't see anything wrong with it...but I'll see where I stand after others opinions.[/b]
LOL me too, I have never potty trained a child full-time so I am standing by to see what others have to say! I am not that educated on potty training yet, but I need to get some knowledge under my belt since my baby will be one soon
__________________
<div align="center"><div align='center'></div><div align="center"></div></div>
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:19 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0