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  #1  
May 8th, 2007, 08:18 PM
Pure Innocence
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Why is it that when someone gets pregnant and they say "I'm going to try unmedicated" that other women (not all, but a LOT) automatically say "Oh, yea right...you don't know what kind of pain it's going to be like. You are going to be screaing for that epidural"
I am? Really? You know me THAT well? You know what I can and can't handle? Why do women look at you like you are stupid when you say you want to go unmedicated? Maybe this is directed towards first time mothers...like me.

I want to go umedicated.
Response: You don't know what it's going to feel like. You will probably want the epidural. This is your first kid you can't handle it, you don't know what it's going to be like. Don't say you aren't getting meds, say you are going to "try" without meds.

I want a vaginal, I really want to avoid a csection.
Response: Oh, but you know with everything that goes wrong it's possible you'll have a csection right? You won't DENY one right? I mean what if you NEED one?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY is everyone so quick to jump the gun on telling me how "screwed up" my birth can go??? I'm not an idiot, I know it's going to hurt, I know it's going to be hard work, I knowthere is a possiblity of something going wrong and me needing a csecition, but it's NOT likely. Why can't ppl just support women and their decisions?????????

Analogy: I'm going to the gas station real quick.
My response: Oh *smile* not unless you get in a car wreck before hand!! You know there is that possibilty ya know?

DUH. Of COURSE I know I could have issues during pregnancy...but WHY is there always this need to bring up all the bad negative stuff when someone says they are pregnant?? I don't tell you of the "possible dangers" every time you step out of your house or car or subway or w/e...

lol, my thoughts are so scatter brained on this because it makes me mad lol....so sorry if this is hard to understand!!!!

But why is there this need to always discourage other women of what they want?!?!?!?[/b]
Here debate this again. This was me, I have a new account.
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  #2  
May 8th, 2007, 08:21 PM
donomama
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Sooooo.... Did you go natural?
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  #3  
May 8th, 2007, 08:22 PM
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  #4  
May 8th, 2007, 08:24 PM
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I've seen a few disparaging comments similar to this in my DDC (not directed at me). I can't really debate it because I just don't get it.
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  #5  
May 8th, 2007, 08:31 PM
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I am absolutely sure about people having different pain tolerances then others. Just because I have no issues with needles and others do. This is a personal choice and I would never knock that.

My only issue, which I posted before, is with my first baby the woman in the other room was having a natural childbirth (I do not even know if it was by choice). But I will tell you this she scared the **** out of me with her screaming, and I am sure everyone else in labor on the floor. I did not need any other stress on top of my first baby not coming the way he should. I also do not know what you can do about it because I am sure the hospitals will not pay for sound proof rooms

Edited to add: With C-Sections vs Reg ... I have had all three types and have no issues with any of them. Again this is why I only debate experiences I know. I can not see debating something that you have not experienced yourself in some regard.
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  #6  
May 8th, 2007, 08:31 PM
rose198172's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hate responses like that. I even once got a roll of the eyes from my OB for that -- yup, quickly switched doctors after that!!
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  #7  
May 9th, 2007, 09:19 AM
Ms.Michelle
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It's like our cultures want us to fail with these attitudes.
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  #8  
May 9th, 2007, 09:23 AM
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Yeah, I don't see why someone would want to burst someone's bubble like that! It might due to insecurity or wanting to feel better about their medicated/c-section delivery (and I am in no way saying people who choose a medicated birth or end up having a c-section are insecure, but some might be). Other people are just out to burst bubbles and there is nothing you can do about their negativity other than to ignore it.

For the record: I was medicated, it was planned from the start. Am I insecure with my decision? Mostly not, but sometimes I wished I had given the natural a go.
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  #9  
May 9th, 2007, 09:25 AM
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I am totally supportive of whatever birth method a woman decides to use. It is her body, who better to know and understand her own pain tolerance. I hate it when women are so judgmental.
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  #10  
May 9th, 2007, 09:32 AM
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I personally don't care how people do it, but it can be irritating when those who 'wish' to go natural get a 'better than you' attitude and act as if you've poisoned your child by having a medicated birth.

My labor was induced, I had an epidural for part of my labor because the contractions came on so fast due to the induction, but for delivery--I had no drugs. It is incredibly, incredibly painful. More power to you if you want to go natural.

But sooo many people want to go natural, and do not. So they have no room to talk about those who use medicine, because there's a good chance they will themselves.
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  #11  
May 9th, 2007, 09:37 AM
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  #12  
May 9th, 2007, 09:39 AM
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I think they are just trying to be realistic, not trying to set anyone up to fail. Odds are that even if you want to go natural, you are probably not going to make it for one reason or another, or you'll change your mind.

That's just reality.
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  #13  
May 9th, 2007, 10:08 AM
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Quote:
I personally don't care how people do it, but it can be irritating when those who 'wish' to go natural get a 'better than you' attitude and act as if you've poisoned your child by having a medicated birth.

My labor was induced, I had an epidural for part of my labor because the contractions came on so fast due to the induction, but for delivery--I had no drugs. It is incredibly, incredibly painful. More power to you if you want to go natural.

But sooo many people want to go natural, and do not. So they have no room to talk about those who use medicine, because there's a good chance they will themselves.[/b]

Well, I agree that if a woman who wants to go naturally tries to make you feel bad for being medicated, it is irritating.

Quote:
I think they are just trying to be realistic, not trying to set anyone up to fail. Odds are that even if you want to go natural, you are probably not going to make it for one reason or another, or you'll change your mind.

That's just reality.[/b]

Yeah, but do we REALLY need to point that out to them. Does it really do any good to tell somone who plans on going natural that it hurts or they probably won't end up doing so??? To me, it sounds rude and condescending. Let their labor progess how it goes; maybe they will go naturally, maybe the won't. How does a person thinks it's their right to "correct" or "educate" other women on their choices to labor?!
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  #14  
May 9th, 2007, 10:37 AM
Pure Innocence
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Quote:
I personally don't care how people do it, but it can be irritating when those who 'wish' to go natural get a 'better than you' attitude and act as if you've poisoned your child by having a medicated birth.

My labor was induced, I had an epidural for part of my labor because the contractions came on so fast due to the induction, but for delivery--I had no drugs. It is incredibly, incredibly painful. More power to you if you want to go natural.

But sooo many people want to go natural, and do not. So they have no room to talk about those who use medicine, because there's a good chance they will themselves.[/b]
Ok.....this wasn't what this debate was about though...

Quote:
I think they are just trying to be realistic, not trying to set anyone up to fail. Odds are that even if you want to go natural, you are probably not going to make it for one reason or another, or you'll change your mind.

That's just reality.[/b]
It's not like women are stupid and don't know about the possibilities of what can happen. Being realistic is knowing these possibilities but also striving for what you plan for. There is NO NEED to knock anothers birth choices or put them down and NOT SUPPORT THEM. You don't know how a women will birth, it's so rude and it shows a persons OWN insecurity of their own birth choices in my opinion.

Quote:
You are watermama??!?!?![/b]
Yea....uh oh now I'm scaraed what? LOL!!
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  #15  
May 9th, 2007, 10:40 AM
mommyKathyX3
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What happened to encouraging one instead of instilling fear and doubt in their choices? I just dont get it.

If someone says they dont want a medicated birth I'll say "good luck!" if they say they want a medicated birth I'll say "good luck" Unless they specifically ASK for my opinion on the matter, I'll keep it to myself. I can relate my experience, but not discourage thier choice. Same way with most of the labor and delievery desisions.

edited cause I didnt make sense
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  #16  
May 9th, 2007, 11:01 AM
Ms.Michelle
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OT: I took a waterbirthing seminar.. I would love to chat if you are scared in anyway.. Go over the natural childbirth area if you want to chat more about it.

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  #17  
May 9th, 2007, 11:10 AM
Pure Innocence
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Quote:
What happened to encouraging one instead of instilling fear and doubt in their choices? I just dont get it.

If someone says they dont want a medicated birth I'll say "good luck!" if they say they want a medicated birth I'll say "good luck" Unless they specifically ASK for my opinion on the matter, I'll keep it to myself. I can relate my experience, but not discourage thier choice. Same way with most of the labor and delievery desisions.

edited cause I didnt make sense[/b]
Exactly!!

Quote:
OT: I took a waterbirthing seminar.. I would love to chat if you are scared in anyway.. Go over the natural childbirth area if you want to chat more about it.

[/b]
Who me? Or just anyone in general?
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  #18  
May 9th, 2007, 11:25 AM
Ms.Michelle
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You, if you'd like, but to anyone interested too ~ I don't discriminate.
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  #19  
May 9th, 2007, 11:56 AM
Pure Innocence
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You, if you'd like, but to anyone interested too ~ I don't discriminate. [/b]
See ya there!
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  #20  
May 9th, 2007, 07:25 PM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was always planning on going natural, but then I had to get induced at 37 weeks because of Pre-E and it was very very painful. I held off until about 6 cm and then the pain just became unbearable, and I got an epi. Unfortunately it wore off when I was about 8 or 9 cm and I could feel every bit of her head slamming down on my cervix. I'm sure the whole floor heard me moaning in pain. They finally gave me more meds that kicked in right before I started pushing (thank God!)
I think next time I will try to go natural again, my midwife said that labor induced with Pitocin is a lot worse so she didn't blame me. Plus my blood pressure was through the freakin roof and it went down once I got the epi.
I did stick to my decision about not getting an episotemy though, they were trying to pressure me into it and I refused. Good thing too because I only had a slight tear.
I think people should really keep their opinion to themselves when it comes to labor choices. I got really annoyed with people while I was pregnant.
One of my friends is having a baby today and the only thing I said to her was not to get induced because it's really painful. She didn't listen to me though.
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