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Giftedness and siblings


Forum: Gifted and Talented Children

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  #1  
May 25th, 2011, 06:53 PM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So Edward seems absolutely normal to me. I know I should just be grateful and thankful. I have a close friend who has a son with some pretty severe delays, so I should just be happy. But for some reason, I'm a little disappointed. I keep checking Mia's baby book, an she was quite a bit ahead of him in many areas, especially verbal, at the same age. But even other things like doing simple puzzles, pointing at stuff when asked, going to get something when I ask for it, Mia was miles ahead of where Edward is now. I'm not worried about him, he is hitting his milestones right about on average. But like I said, I'm kind of bummed about it. I guess I figured that since they are siblings that they would show similar levels of giftedness. Wow, I hope it's not just me?
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  #2  
May 25th, 2011, 07:59 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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As a general rule, girls hit milestones much earlier than boys, especially in the first 2-3 years. You also have to consider things like personalities and strengths/weaknesses. Their IQ's are probably very close, but they're probably very different otherwise. I know my boys are very different.
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  #3  
May 26th, 2011, 04:37 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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In general, giftedness runs in families and kids tend to be similar. Of course there are always total anomalies that are a single random gifted child, but that's the exception, not the rule. What a child does in infancy or toddlerhood is also not always a sign of giftedness. My one child who has been actually tested and is gifted is my one who *no one* would guess, even today, that he is gifted. He did not speak a single word until 2 1/2. He struggles with reading still at 9 1/2. He met physical milestones earlier than any of my others, but was behind the others on everything else. He has dyslexia, dysgraphia, a visual processing disorder, and short term memory problems... and he's gifted. So don't write him off as "normal" at 11 months old just because he's not doing what his sister did at the same age. He could turn out to be more gifted than his sister in the end.
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  #4  
May 26th, 2011, 03:01 PM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It's not just you... DH still comments from time to time that he thinks Sergio is "retarded." I hate hearing that. Sergio is definitely several months behind where Hugo was in several aspects of development... but he is still ahead of general child development and that's why I get upset with DH when he says this. Our pediatrician said he does not diagnose a child as "genius" but he said at Sergio's last visit: "There is NO reason for your husband to worry. He is definitely well ahead for his age." (in regard to vocabulary, cognitive and overall development) But it is hard for DH and it was a bit for me and for my mom, who takes care of them, to see Sergio go at a slower pace. It feels like he's still our baby in some respects when Hugo was already in underwear, having full conversations and in the full on terrible 2's at the age Sergio is right now. Hugo's babyhood and then toddlerhood was over in less than 1.5 years. Sergio is definitely still in the toddler phase and it's taking him longer to put together sentences and conversation, although he has most of the concepts Hugo had- and he's nowhere near potty trained.

BUT... Sergio developed some skills quicker than Hugo and he also has some interests where Hugo couldn't care less. The big ones are sports and art. Sergio is much better coordinated than Hugo and I chalk that and the other differences to individual personalities/talents/interests.

I read that sibling IQs are generally within 15 points (1 standard deviation) apart. I definitely think that could be possible with mine (although I don't know what their "IQ" score is/would be, really don't believe that should define them as people, but know that it's one way to gauge where their strengths are).

I think it's just harder after you've seen one child whiz through everything, to know exactly what to expect. When you have come to expect something that isn't normal it's hard to adjust your perspective of normal... I think that's what is hard for my DH who really knew nothing about general child development before we had kids.
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  #5  
May 26th, 2011, 03:44 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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I hate hearing things like that, too. Dh calls Ben stupid sometimes when he does age-appropriate things. "God, I can't believe you're that stupid!" First, I don't use God's name in that way, and I've been teaching the boys not to, either. Second, it wouldn't matter if he was the dumbest kid on earth... this father shouldn't call him stupid.
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  #6  
May 26th, 2011, 07:02 PM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I knew you guys would put things in perspective! Some members of my family do that too. Mia was the first grandchild, followed by Zoe who at 2 1/2 just blows my mind. That kid is even more advanced then Mia was at the same age. Then the third grandchild is Zoe's brother Ryan. Poor little dude has to live up to these two really bright girls! The little guy is only 1 1/2 and my dad and my sister (who has no kids) keep going on about how there's something "off" about him. I just keep saying that they can't compare him to the older girls. There's absolutely nothing wrong with him!

Good to know that there's a difference between boys and girls too. And that it runs in families. I should take my own advice and stop comparing!!
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  #7  
May 27th, 2011, 12:23 PM
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Yup. Lucy said her 1st word at 6 months, talked in full sentences at 15 months - Noah didn't talk much at all until he turned 3. He's very quiet so sometimes it's hard to tell but I'm coming to realize that there's a whole lot of stuff going on in his head. I'm thinking he might even surpass his big sister although that may be partly because she has vision problems.

He is also gifted in different ways. While she is very artistic & thinks out of the box, he is more like me logical & into numbers. He is also very physically gifted. Way ahead of other kids his age with his athletic ability.
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  #8  
May 27th, 2011, 08:04 PM
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I'm noticing now that Mia is having a big intellectual growth phase at the moment, and Aiden is chugging along at the moment. And in 6 months they might switch! They are both very bright, but in different ways. Mia's more like me (art, literacy) and Aiden is more like hubby (science, construction).
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  #9  
May 28th, 2011, 11:51 AM
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I have a 6 year old boy and a 4 year old girl who are both gifted. Then I have a 2 year old(today) son who is lazy lol. We have seen him at different times do things well beyond his age but its when he wants to. He finally started trying to talk about a month ago and is still in diapers. The older two were potty trained before they were two(my daughter at 16 months) and were talking in complete sentences by this age.
i wouldnt say i get disappointed that he's not showing signs of giftedness but we do get worried because since our first two are gifted,we compare him to them. Plus, we dont want him to feel bad when he's older that the other two are "smarter" then him. I think more then gifted,he'll be talented. He LOVES music! If he hears a song on a radio from one of his movies,even if its sung different he recognizes it. It's really cute
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  #10  
May 30th, 2011, 12:26 PM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by israelsofiaplusone View Post
I have a 6 year old boy and a 4 year old girl who are both gifted. Then I have a 2 year old(today) son who is lazy lol. We have seen him at different times do things well beyond his age but its when he wants to. He finally started trying to talk about a month ago and is still in diapers. The older two were potty trained before they were two(my daughter at 16 months) and were talking in complete sentences by this age.
i wouldnt say i get disappointed that he's not showing signs of giftedness but we do get worried because since our first two are gifted,we compare him to them. Plus, we dont want him to feel bad when he's older that the other two are "smarter" then him. I think more then gifted,he'll be talented. He LOVES music! If he hears a song on a radio from one of his movies,even if its sung different he recognizes it. It's really cute
Wow, I can't believe yours are 6, 4 and 2!! Already?
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  #11  
June 2nd, 2011, 02:22 PM
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i know! and #4 is on the way
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  #12  
June 2nd, 2011, 04:14 PM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Whaaaat??? Well you need to change your user name then!

Congrats!
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  #13  
June 2nd, 2011, 07:32 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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WHAT?! Congrats! When are you due?
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  #14  
June 17th, 2011, 03:59 PM
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thanks ladies I'm due November 17th and an early ultrasound says girl-we confirm on june 30th i dont even know how to change my username
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  #15  
June 17th, 2011, 09:30 PM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yay! New baby! Have her a day early, then she'll be born on my birthday! Hope you are feeling well and that everything goes perfectly!
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  #16  
June 17th, 2011, 10:03 PM
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thanks so much This pregnancy has been my easiest except for my hips.They hurt SOOO bad.I'm hoping to go begining of November because I cant imagine going full term. Of course baby being healthy is what I want most; just in alot of pain today. I would LOVE to have her the day before because that was also my uncles birthday(he died in 2008 of cancer)
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  #17  
June 18th, 2011, 09:10 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I knew about this already!! Congrats again. I spotted her on the large families board a while ago...
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  #18  
June 21st, 2011, 09:13 AM
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I've thought a lot about this and I worry that I spend too much time comparing Saige to Rayne. They are so very different! When Rayne was 20 months she learned how to identify every letter of the alphabet and Saige doesn't seem interested in that at all now that she is 20 months. I do feel they are very close intellectually speaking though, they just have different interests and personality quirks. Rayne loved sitting down and taking the time to learn things like putting a puzzle together, identifying letters and numbers, counting, etc. but with Saige I have found if it's not her idea than she doesn't want to participate lol.
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  #19  
June 21st, 2011, 10:30 AM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shari626 View Post
I knew about this already!! Congrats again. I spotted her on the large families board a while ago...
Not fair!

Mystic Mommy, I was just thinking about you guys and guessing Saige is a lot of fun now. I can't believe they are on their way to 2!! Sergio is also very different than Hugo (as you probably read earlier) and some days I wonder if he's just "above average" and some days I think gifted but in different ways... like he is a natural swimmer, and today our computer blanked out completely and after my brother and I both tried to fix it- Sergio, determined he was going to get to his disneyjunior.com, evidently "fixed" it. (or I would not be online right now!) Here's hoping he has a lucrative career in IT one day...
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  #20  
July 4th, 2011, 09:39 AM
AmAnDaMo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It was obvious early-on that my youngest was gifted.

It wasn't as obvious with my oldest, and I may have thought she wasn't gifted had she come after her little sister.

They're just gifted in different areas, and express those gifts differently. It's very obvious now, at 9, though...and it has been pretty much since she started school.

My youngest is very logical and likes to do things exactly the way they're supposed to be done. My oldest is very creative, and can't stand doing things "by the book." It's interesting how bright they both are, but how very different they are, too. I love that they both have unique strengths and talents. It makes them, "them."
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