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Fears and Intense Feelings?


Forum: Gifted and Talented Children

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  #1  
June 14th, 2011, 08:34 AM
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Hi ladies, this is my first time posting here, I think. My son will be 5 next month and I know that he understands and picks things up quickly. We homeschool so I'm not too concerned about placing in school and such. He absolutely loves science and seems to be picking math up really quickly, also. I just follow his lead in each area, but I'm looking for some support and advice in another area.

He's always been sensitive to loud noises, bur recently he's shown fears about lots of little things. He over-analyzes things to the point that he becomes afraid. For example, what if the paint comes off his toys and rubs on hm and goes inside him and makes him sick? Or what if the smell from the 'poison' household cleaners go inside his mouth? Or, he'll randomly come out and say he doesn't want to grow old and die, etc.....He's started washing his hands a lot because he's afraid germs will make him sick (not overboard, but his motive is clear as to why he's doing it).

Have you moms dealt with this? Do you have any tips? We definitely down play a lot of this when we talk to him so we can keep him calm, and we're careful with how we word things so that we don't frighten him, but at the same time we don't lie about things. We are clear with the truth about things but we don't show fear ourselves so I'm not sure how to help him with this.

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  #2  
June 14th, 2011, 05:36 PM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Mia went through something like this about the same age, she was worried about the children starving in Africa, and if we would get cancer and die and all kinds of stuff. I don't know if it's over-sensitivity or just a phase some kids go through as I don't have other kids that age to compare to. We did the same thing, reassured, downplayed etc and as she got older she became more reasonable. She's still very sensitive and a worrier but it's more rational now. Maybe when they're bright, they can understand things earlier before they are emotionally ready to handle them? Dunno. Hope someone else chimes in here...
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  #3  
June 14th, 2011, 07:23 PM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't know- we haven't experienced any of that.

I work with elementary school children and we have referred out for mental health assessments at that age since it is possible to have an anxiety disorder. Not saying your child has that- do not get me wrong- but it is something I would monitor in case anything else emerges- panic, obsessing, etc. I am sure you would know if it got to a point to be concerned.

However I do think it's normal for kids to be curious about the "what ifs" and causes of things, and concepts like death, illness, justice, etc... can be troubling even for an adult, much less a child just beginning to come to terms with them.
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  #4  
June 15th, 2011, 03:59 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I haven't dealt with any of that. It doesn't sound too obsessive yet, but it looks like something that could turn obsessive. I would keep my eye on that.

I do think that being bright does cause them to think about other things that they may not normally worry. Hopefully, this is just a phase.
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  #5  
June 15th, 2011, 05:53 AM
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Thanks ladies. It started to get intense about 3 months ago so I'm thinking its a phase but he just thinks and thinks and takes things to the extreme. Its definitely hard to balance talking logic with him vs. talking in a level that is emotionally accurate for his age. He understands quite a bit but his emotional level is still at 4 years old. Isn't there a term for that? How have you ladies balanced that?
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  #6  
June 15th, 2011, 11:24 AM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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Absolutely!! Ben has been like that from the moment he was born! Some kids are just more sensitive than others. (Thankfully, Daniel's not like that very much.) When he was younger, it was a major headache, but now that I've learned what his triggers and weaknesses are, I can either prepare him for a "scary" situation, or I can try to avoid situations altogether. Sometimes, there's nothing you can do. If we hear the "beeeeeeeep" on TV telling us there's a small thunderstorm 3 counties away, he freaks out and runs to the closet thinking a tornado is on top of us. (Loud noises are by FAR his biggest trigger, and marry that with all the tornado footage in the media... um... yeah. )

He goes through phases, yes, but it's still pretty constant. I've noticed he's most sensitive when tired or hungry. He takes time to warm up to new situations, too.

If you haven't already, google "Dabrowski's Over-excitabilites". That'll be very insightful, I'm sure.
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  #7  
June 15th, 2011, 01:14 PM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The term you were looking for is anachronous development, I believe... where some abilities are at a much higher age level than their actual chronological age.

Good luck... probably he is just a sensitive, caring person!
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  #8  
June 15th, 2011, 02:24 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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Asynchronous = not in sync

It means some skills are normal and others are way off base (either high or low).
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  #9  
June 15th, 2011, 06:06 PM
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Thank you Chrystal! And yes, asynchronous development was what I was wondering about. Loud noises definitely trigger him. DH and I took the boys to Main Event arcade as part of our vacation and when DH played the game where you hit the hammer and make the light go all the way to the top, it FREAKED Ethan out and he started crying right away. Also, smells seem to trigger some of it. DH was using this nasty glue to make Ethan a sling shot today and Ethan started crying and saying that he thought he felt his lungs getting hurt because of the smell

I'll definitely google what you mentioned, Chrystal.

He seems to do ok socially with his friends but it never fails that he always ends up running to me crying about something very trivial. Definitely dramatic!
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  #10  
June 15th, 2011, 06:21 PM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BensMom View Post
Asynchronous = not in sync

It means some skills are normal and others are way off base (either high or low).
Thank you, you knew what I meant!
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