[*M* and *N's* Mommy]

My youngest son(Nov 25 2008) was born w a cleft palette and micronathia(small jaw and it was pushed back.) The micronathia caused the cleft palette when I was pregnant w him. He has had surgery for the palette when he was 9months old. It was super heart breaking. However, the doctors told us that he would be delayed growing up. But they obviously didnt know how delayed. I notice things that he is delayed with, such as speech, he also seems to be more like a baby than an almost 3 year old, hes not like a helpless baby, but its very hard to explain. At this point it seems like I can not do much for my son, since my husband had kicked me out of the house two years ago, but I am very concerned for my child and that he is not getting the care that he needs. It is extremely difficult for me to do anything because I only get them every other weekend Fri to sun, and heaven forbid I try to tell my husband any of this he REFUSES to admit he has a special needs child. Even when my son was just born, with all the special feedings and heart monitor and him being in the NCCC he still refused to admit he was special needs. My husband wants normal healthy children. I'm just so confused, I don't know what I can do for my son. He only speaks a couple of words, and he can only say about two words at a time. He doesn't have sentences at all. He might say 3 word here and there. I don't know what to do! I'm sorry I know this is kind of random, I'm just getting more confused as my son gets older, and we are about to lose our Military insurance! So I know when its gone my children will be completely lost.

[Jennmarie]

I'm just lurking, so I hope its ok if I answer..but I know in GA both parents have equal rights to medical records, so maybe you should request an appointment to have a look at his charts with his pediatrician, without the child, and just talk to the doctor about your concerns-go with a list of questions etc. Also, if through talking to the doc and your gut; if you have concerns that he has needs that aren't being met, you probably need to consider challenging his right to custody. I can relate to your situation in that I have 2 delayed sons, and my DH did NOT want to admit that for a longg long time...and still has trouble with it occassionally, but has gotten more supportive. But I know if we were seperated, I would expect him to be giving them all of the care and support they need regardless of his feelings. Good luck hon, sounds like a tough situation.

[*M* and *N's* Mommy]

The hardest part is I dont know who is pediatrician is because he doesnt share much info w me. And I live 2 hours away from him, I would go down there if I knew who he the ped was but, I cant... I pay over half of what I make in a month to child support, and I barely have anything left over to be able to drive that far.. Im just so confused.

[hoping_for_rainbow]

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through :-( I have a 7-year-old pre-adoptive son with Asperger's, so I am just getting used to the special needs options available myself. It sounds like you and the children have the same (military) insurance? I would imagine you can call your provider and ask for information on the claims that have been submitted for your child..or, just find another pediatrician (covered by your insurance) to take your child to on one of your weekends. It will probably be a lot easier getting what you need once you have a professional backing you.

Good luck!!