Forum: Learning Disabilities and Special Education
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You do you handle behavior problems at home? How are they handled at school?[/b]
Behavior problems at home are dependant on the actual problem. I tend to have to seperate first, is it a meltdown because is is feeling out of control or anxious or overwhelmed or a tantrum because he isn't getting his own way.
If it is a meltdown I remove glasses first and foremost we have lost many pairs during meltdowns, then I look to make sure the cause isn't a sound or something that is driving him crazy I will obviously get rid of the cause if I can, then usually do some tight hugs or crashing to help calm him, once he is calm enough to talk to, I go over feelings.
How did he feel (he differentiates angry and sad now). If he was frusterated by trying to do something I will tell him he did a good try and is a hero. And will hand over hand guide him to help him try to do what he was trying. And try to talk about asking for help before he gets sad and angry.
if it is not frusteration but rather being upset about something out of his control like bedtime or time to put toys away or time to get on the school bus, I will tell him that it is ok to be sad about it, but he still has to follow the rules, or it is still time to get ready for bed. would it be easier if we took a toy for bed. Or we can take a toy to the bus, but you can't take it to school. I find giving him a choice makes him feel more in control like, do you want to take a toy or a snack to the bus stop.
If the behavior problem is unwanted behavior like banging his head, or biting his hands or breaking his glasses (all three are his big ones) I will try to figure out what started it and adress that. And I will try to give him alternate options. like rather than biting himself now he will climb under a heavy pile of pillows and blankets. he does well with heavy crashing type things. also i feed him the words he should be saying instead of losing it. We don't bang our heads, we say I am ANGRY. or You make me angry. I try to keep it simple, he still has a serious speech delay.
hmmm, other than that i am sure every one of us has learned the best way to handle them is prevention!!! I work so very hard to make sure we don't get to those points. We have strict routines we follow, Alex has the biggest issues with transitions, and when he knows what to expect he does better. I use his visual timer a lot, when the red is gone it will be bedtime. and if when the red is gone he seems still a bit troubled I will set it for 5 more minutes making sure he knows only 5 more minutes. That little giving in makes him feel a bit more in control and he tends to go no problem the second time. Very rarely i have had to do a second 5 more minutes. it is hard to get into the mindset that it is ok to give in. it doesn't spoil him, it isn't letting go of your authority it is just understanding that for some reason he needs that little bit more time to prepare himself for a transition. He genuinely wants to please and listen but he has a hard time handling things normal kids do.
There are also times he is just being a brat like any other kid, and during those times I give him firm directions like i would the other kids. and he does have consequences. But it certainly is a bit harder to make him understand those consequences. And the biggest thing is to remember he isn't 5 he is a 3 year old in a six year old body, so I don't fall into the trap of expecting him to do what an older kid could do. like any other toddler some things you just have to deal with and redirect and distract him.
Look I wrote a book!!! Aren't special needs fun! I actually had a fun time going through this too, what a great question.
Now does anyone have an advice on how to handle Alex's newest thing.... "I hate you"
Hmm i didn't even go into how school does, it is very similar to how we do at home, I work closely with his teacher. Alex gets a lot of one on one attention, for the first year he had his own one on one aide, but now the teachers aide gives him one on one for a few hours a day.