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  #21  
October 22nd, 2008, 05:40 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yay, your link works & we can see your chart! The temps while AF is here are sometimes up & down, so don't stress over those. Once AF leaves, they "should" settle down more and once you O you'll see that upward shift in temps. FF has a lot of good info on checking your CM & CP as well which is very helpful in figuring out things too.

And I know what you mean about the comments from our mothers. My Mom had her last child when she was 29, and most of my friends my age had their children ages ago. I really only have one person IRL that I'm close to (my cousin) who is having children now too. That's what is so great about you ladies here, we can go thru this together!!!
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  #22  
October 22nd, 2008, 02:52 PM
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BethAnn. I know how you feel about seeing babies and pg women and just crying. I have to stay away from the maternity and baby departments as much as possible.......at certain times I'll start crying and others I'll get angry and wonder why I haven't been able to make DH a daddy. I have to have Faith! I don't have anybody giving me a bad time about the whole ttc process, but all of my friends already have their kids and most of them are almost all grown up. I just hope I didn't wait too long, then again, I'm glad I didn't have any with my ex so I guess that's the up side to being late in the game. So, I don't have anybody to talk to about all of this except my wonderful JM girls

So glad we can see your chart! Like Becky said, your temps will probably go up and down with AF but should level out to some degree. FF is great to work with and has tons of information. But, if you don't want to search for answers I'm sure someone on our wonderful board will have some advice for you. If you would like us to stalk you in the Chart Stalking Room, make sure you put a post in there so I can add your link.
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  #23  
October 23rd, 2008, 08:48 PM
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Well, today started pretty well. I am about to give TMI so you have been warned. We did the temperature, some delightful BDing, then I logged it all into fertility friend. I told DH that it was too soon for me to have ovulated but he said it wasn't about the TTC, it was just that he wanted some intimacy with his wonderful, beautiful wife. (He must be looking through the eyes of love because when I look in the mirror, I don't see it.)
The day went somewhat down hill after that, but I am not going to use this space to vent, (at least not today I won't) I will do my mini rant in a posting for everyone to read. lol
I am going to keep charting, keep praying and maybe this month we will get our blessing.
Lots of Baby Dust to All
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  #24  
October 27th, 2008, 09:04 AM
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The past few days have been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs for me emotionally. I missed my oldest goddaughter's sweet sixteen on Saturday because I am in IN and everyone else is in NC, so when I called everyone took a turn getting on the telephone and telling me how much they missed me and how the party was not the same without me. I am supposed to go there for Christmas, but if Wal Mart does not approve my time off (without pay I might add) I don't know what I will do. I will have been six months away from my family at that point and I really want to see them.
Miss Eden is doing well (considering she is two weeks old and healing from the arm injury) and Miss Matilda (born last Thursday) is at home and thriving. I am anticipating seeing them both. Their mommies are old friends of mine so while it is wonderful that they got their miracles, I am somewhat envious because they are mommies and I am not. If I was in NC and got the BFP I would anticipate a daughter since it seems that is the current trend in births there. Well, I will test on the 16th of November (unless AF rears her ugly head) and either start shopping for baby things or just wipe away the tears and start trying for an August baby.
Since I work at Wal Mart (outdoor living and seasonal) I have seen an amazing amount of children this weekend. They have been playing with the masks and costumes in Halloween and staring with wonder at the trees (all lit and decorated) in the Christmas Shoppe. It is rough at times because I want a baby and I see all these children everywhere I turn.
Oh well, time to get ready for work.
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  #25  
October 29th, 2008, 08:06 PM
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My temps have been going up and down and even though we have gotten some BD in, I just don't know if I even ovulate or if there is something wrong with me that will require intervention. DH says that God is teaching me patience and that conception will happen in God's time not in Beth's time. I know that he is right, but it is so hard. I have been extremely emotional (dealing with BMV has not made me any less weepy either) but on the positive side, I managed to get through the Mary Kay facial party (I hosted for a friend who is starting in the business) without melting down. I still have one more hoop to jump through before Indiana will say that I have all the t's crossed and i's dotted regarding transferring the license, title and tag from NC to IN.
I want a BFP this month so bad. I am trying to remind myself that if not this month, then there is always next month, but each month it is getting harder to keep the cheery face on. I guess I will just have DH lock the HPTs somewhere until the 16th so I won't be tempted to test until AF does not make an appearance.
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  #26  
November 3rd, 2008, 07:20 PM
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It has been almost a week since I wrote anything in here. It has been pretty much taking temps every morning, getting some BD time in with DH, working between temp taking and BMS. I want to believe that this might be the month, but somehow I can't let myself get too hopeful. I mean I am so early in this journey and DH says that if we can't conceive immediately it might be for a reason (he says God wants me to learn a lesson about patience). Of course, watching Montel this morning (13 and pregnant) did not do anything for my cheery disposition. I actually whirled around in the chair and asked the tv (like it was going to give me an answer) "why does it seem a tween can get knocked up the first time out of the gate and I am struggling to get a baby who will be loved and nurtured and Wanted. . . Planned Even?" DH came into the living room at that point and looked at me like I had lost my grasp on reality, but oh well, I am entitled to be a bit nuts. My temps are up and down like a yo yo and when I have him in the house, I want to jump on him and BD like I am making a porno.
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  #27  
November 7th, 2008, 09:05 AM
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Okay, now I am going to sound a bit nuts now. I have been taking my temperature faithfully at the same time every day, seeing a tiny drop in temperature and wondering if it is a real dip or just some freaky thing that my body is doing to make me totally insane. If this wasn't enough, I have all DH's dreams. Yes, he is doing it again. He informed me this morning that he had another "Pregnant Beth" dream. If I turn out to get a I don't know how he will take it. He is so sure this month, even more so than in the prior months. I mean he is always the one who says "You're pregnant!" and I am the one who says "Nope, not until AF fails to appear." Oh well, we will test sometime between the 16th and the 22nd, provided AF does not appear during that week.
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  #28  
November 11th, 2008, 08:00 PM
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DH just called me on his way home from work and asked if there was anything I needed. I told him I was out of HPTs. He sort of laughed and said "None of those until this weekend. If you have them in the house, then you will test too early." What a meanie! Of course, like I told him earlier today, I don't feel pregnant. . . therefore, I am anticipating the arrival of the witch this weekend (probably Sunday). Oh well, I guess it will be on to cycle 6 (at least I think it is 6) starting Sunday.
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  #29  
November 14th, 2008, 02:31 AM
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Okay, AF is officially here again. This time she woke me up with cramping. I am a bit freaked that my cycle is only 26 days this month, definitely not a good thing. Oh well, perhaps it is just a once off thing. I reviewed my calendar (yes, I am obsessive enough that I have kept a chart since the first of the year) and it happened once before that I was a couple of days early. At least it is a bit comforting to know that when it happens I go back to the normal 28 the next month. A few years ago, I had to go on Depo because my cycles went out of whack and they were less than 21 days long. Now I sort of wonder if using Depo is the reason my body won't let the eggie implant. Somehow I feel like this is my fault.
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  #30  
November 15th, 2008, 07:30 PM
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I have been having up and down emotions the past few days. I am planning to get a doctor's appointment in the next few days, if possible, to see what is going on with me. It has been almost six months of trying and I am starting to wonder if I should not consider other options. I have been talking more openly about adoption with DH and he is considering it.
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  #31  
November 27th, 2008, 07:14 AM
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Ah, Thanksgiving Day. . . only one month until I hopefully get to see my family for the first time in six months. Of course, I won't be able to tell my parents that they are expecting their first grandchild because even if I do get a BFP between now and then, I will be too worried about the what ifs to mention the blessed imminent arrival until after the first trimester is over. I got some BD ing in the past few days and if I can convince DH that we need some more to ensure better chances, I might be able to convince him to do some more.
Actually no chance of BMS this morning because I am ready to O in a few days so of course, DH is feeling yucky. I know I am being horrible, but I told him that I can't do this by myself. He promised to try to feel better so we can BD tonight.
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  #32  
November 28th, 2008, 07:42 AM
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Quote:
Actually no chance of BMS this morning because I am ready to O in a few days so of course, DH is feeling yucky. I know I am being horrible, but I told him that I can't do this by myself. He promised to try to feel better so we can BD tonight.[/b]
I know how you feel. My DH has been sick for over a week now, did finally go to the doctor, but here I am getting ready to O. You feel horrible pressuring them for BDing but we don't want another cycle to be wasted. I was able to get my DH to BD this morning, and I'm hoping for some more this weekend as I expect to O on Sunday/Monday. Good luck - I hope your DH feels better.
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  #33  
December 1st, 2008, 08:33 AM
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I got the cross hairs this morning after entering my temp. It gave me a real boost since I had the doctor's appointment awaiting me. It went well. I had a really upbeat time and when the doctor suggested that the TTC problem (if there is one since he says six months is really not that long to be trying) could honestly be a DH problem. I made sure and mentioned that the DH first thing when we got back in the SUV. I am so much more relaxed than I have been in quite a while. It isn't even bothering me that we are supposed to get six inches of snow today. It was already sticking to the highway when we came home. I am going to see if I can get some post dr visit BD ing from DH because it was been a few days and I just want it for my comfort and not because it is going to create a baby.
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  #34  
December 2nd, 2008, 06:22 AM
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I am going to attempt to be more positive. I tend to worry about everything which makes DH just shake his head. He did think it was a bit funny that I worried about whether the gifts I have bought are 'good' enough. I had the company I ordered my sister's gift from mail it to her because she turns the big 3-0 on Friday and I won't be there. I think she will like it because it is her favorite scent and the soaps are not mass produced so it is something that she will only be able to find there or at one of their outlet locations. There are gifts other than my sister's that I am worried won't be quite right, but I guess I will just wait and see what the honest opinions of the receivers are.
I am having terrible mood swings lately. I am hoping it is a good sign. I just feel like crying for no really good reason, although DH thinks that it is either due to my being pregnant or just putting too much pressure on myself about not being pregnant. Got to love him because he covers all his bases. . . it is either because I am or because I am not. Great detective skills, sweetie.
Well, I am going chart stalking and read some more posts. I am enjoying seeing what everyone gets for the holiday gift exchange.
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  #35  
December 4th, 2008, 04:13 AM
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Well, I thought we were going to get our first child without me getting pregnant yesterday. Our eight year old nephew called and left a message on DH's cell telling him that he wanted to live with us. He has mentioned a time or two in short calls during the past six months that he isn't really happy with the situation he is living in, but yesterday was the first time he had said he wants to live with us.
Well, I think I have mentioned a time or twelve that DH's brother is not exactly Father of the Year (most of his thinking is done south of the border if you know what I mean) so I figured that DN had pretty much had as much as he could take. BIL works nights and has a live in girlfriend (imagine that) who 'takes care' of DN and her own DD. This is a different girlfriend than the one he had last year (mother of our youngest DN). Did I mention BIL thinks below the equator????
Anyhow, earlier in the day yesterday, DH and BIL were talking and BIL told him that he had told DN there would be no Christmas presents this year because he could not afford them. I mean who tells an eight year old that they are cancelling Christmas???? BIL brings home as much in a week as DH and I do put together and yet he still can't pay his bills. Trying to figure out how you can bring home a couple of thousand dollars a month and still not be able to make ends meet.
After we got the message from DN, DH talked to BIL again and was told that DN was just wanting to go somewhere that he would not have to obey rules. DH accepted this answer, but when he told me, I asked if it could be a case of DN having one set of rules and the other child in the house. When he suggested that to BIL, he was told that DN has rules whereas the girlfriend's DD has no rules due to her not wanting her daughter to hate her for saying 'no'. Hmmmmm. . . as DH would say "very interesting".
MIL and SIL have been telling me since DH and I started talking about getting married almost a year ago that we would likely end up with DN in our house. They know BIL well and say he is lots like FIL, which perhaps DN is a bit like both of them too (could be part of the issue with the BIL and DN). The only excuse either of them can come up with for DH and his twin brother being so different is that BIL was born with DH's umbilical cord around his neck so he was oxygen deprived for two minutes at birth (SIL says that explains why BIL is 'brain damaged'. . . her words not mine).
I need to get some more sleep since I work until 11 pm. So I will end my DN and BIL rant for the moment. At least now I feel like I can go to bed and sleep. I feel bad for DN but I don't want DH and I to get pulled into the whole drama unless it is truly in the best interest of DN. I won't let our home known as the place DN can go to in order to get whatever he wants.
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  #36  
December 5th, 2008, 11:45 AM
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I will find out later this weekend if I get the time off work so I can go to see my family for Christmas. I haven't seen my family for six months and there is a chance that I won't be able to see them because I work retail. Today is my sister's 30th birthday. She was one of the two witnesses at our wedding. The other one was my BFF, Jan. I added a photo of the four of us outside the courthouse where the wedding took place. I miss them so much.



DH and I have talked about POAS and HPTs. He agreed that since AF is due early next week, if she has not arrived by Friday, we will do a test.
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  #37  
January 14th, 2009, 09:53 PM
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I haven't written in my journal for a while. I am now officially over the six month mark on trying to conceive. I had to cancel the doctor's appointment because Mike is out of work until some time in February. I am just hoping that this month will be the one because I am definitely not getting any younger. If I conceived this cycle, I would be turning 38 sometime around the due date.

I always have in the back of my mind that Alex is going to end up with us at any time. Mike's twin brother (Alex's dad) is such an idiot. He called DH (Mike) last night and said that he is going to leave Michelle (current live in) and go back to Karrie (previous live in and mother of baby Z). Karrie was not good to Alex when she and Matt (the twin) lived together. She had one set of rules for her eight year old daughter and her seven year old son (who is autistic) and another set for eight year old Alex. Matt as much as said the reason he wanted to get back with Karrie is that DTD with her is more enjoyable than DTD with Michelle. I would have thought that by the time a man reaches the age of 34, he would think above the waist at least part of the time.

Okay, I am going to get off my soap box. I suppose a part of me wonders if the reason we haven't conceived yet is that we are going to need to devote all our energy on Alex since he definitely needs to be priority one in someone's life. This being said, it is not keeping me from DTD every chance I get. I am just going to leave it in God's hands since medical intervention/assistance is not an option right now.

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  #38  
January 19th, 2009, 09:06 AM
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I am such a nerd. I just checked to see if I got my BFP this month (testing on 2/5 if AF does not appear) what my EDD would be. It would be within a day of my 38th birthday. I am taking it as a sign that maybe this might be my month, provided I can get DH to DTD.
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  #39  
January 20th, 2009, 01:30 PM
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CD 13, hoping I O in the next day or so because I have given DH the "we will be BD" talk. I am being much more aggressive than I ever thought I could be. It is just that being a mommy is so important to me. I get frustrated and since DH is the one person I am closest to, he is the one who gets the brunt of my venting.
On a brighter note, however, I think this is my 500th post, so I am officially a supermommy. I only wish I was a real mommy. Well, I am not out of the game yet and even if I don't get my birthday baby, I can always hope for a little Turkey or Christmas present.
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  #40  
January 20th, 2009, 01:30 PM
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Oops! I double posted. Must be waiting to O brain or something.
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