Marie's TTC Journal

MarieJ · #1 February 28th, 2009, 05:29 PM

deleted

MarieJ · #2 February 28th, 2009, 05:39 PM

deleted

MarieJ · #3 February 28th, 2009, 06:00 PM

deleted

MarieJ · #4 February 28th, 2009, 06:17 PM

deleted

MarieJ · #5 February 28th, 2009, 06:52 PM

deleted

MarieJ · #6 February 28th, 2009, 07:04 PM

deleted

MarieJ · #7 February 28th, 2009, 07:15 PM

deleted

MarieJ · #8 February 28th, 2009, 07:21 PM

I'm looking at crib bedding sets online right now-why am I doing this to myself? If this fails I'll be down in the dumps and can't look at anything until August or so-I should not be doing this!

MarieJ · #9 March 1st, 2009, 04:47 PM

Another pos opk today, I'm 8 days post trigger, shouldn't it be gone by now? Lots of twingy cramping, but the IVF'ers say its probably my ovaries quieting down from all the meds

Four more days to poas!!!! I'm 6dpiui today!!!

MarieJ · #10 March 2nd, 2009, 06:45 AM

Negative opk and hpt today-I'm 7dpiui, 9d post trigger! Implant little beans!!!

MarieJ · #11 March 2nd, 2009, 05:53 PM

I bought two more hpt's today!! I can poas 9 more mornings!!!

MarieJ · #12 March 3rd, 2009, 07:07 AM

I can't help it if someone in the house keeps mysteriously poas here-I found another neg opk and *possibly* faint hpt on the counter in my bathroom when I woke up this morning-poas fairy??? If she's been poas'ing, she needs to keep in mind that she's only 8 dpiui, 10 days post trigger, and I really had to squint. She also needs to be reminded that she needs to bring more hpt's with her tonight

MarieJ · #13 March 3rd, 2009, 02:08 PM

So far today@8dpiui
7am-faint pos on CBE
11am-faint pos on FRER
2pm-went to lab for beta and progesterone
3pm-neg on CBE, but the control didn't even show up, same as yesterday morning--all from the same box, but this morning's was a faint pos?

plan: repeat beta on Thursday at 2pm and see family dr on Friday to see if rising or falling

MarieJ · #14 March 3rd, 2009, 02:08 PM

not sure why this posted twice; dh is aware and wanted the betas to confirm

I have two FRERs left, I will not pee on one until tomorrow morning!

MarieJ · #15 March 3rd, 2009, 04:27 PM

The drug insert says the hcg trigger can give false positives until 7 days post trigger; I'm 10 days post today!!!! OMG, this might actually be really happening!!!! I haven't had one light bfp in 29 months, today I get two---can this be??? Please let them be good, sticky eggs with no increased chance of m/c...

MarieJ · #16 March 3rd, 2009, 08:45 PM

My obgyn called at 7pm tonight-he said today's hcg is 11, he said its likely still the trigger in my system, that its too early. He said if AF doesn't show in 7 days to get another hcg. I've spent the past hour crying; it didn't help that I watched the Duggar show; why can they have 18 kids when all I want is one more? What have I done to deserve this? I had poas on a FRER literally five mins before the obgyn called, its got the tiniest bit of a faint line, but def less than the 11am one

Why was I so silly and not do hcg's from iui to watch the levels come down? Why did I ever even think that this might be possible for me this time? By some miracle I actually convinced myself that these faint positives this morning were real, they're not.

MarieJ · #17 March 4th, 2009, 07:03 AM

FMU 8am showed a tiny faint line on FRER, but less than yesterday's faint FRER, yup its the trigger leaving

I'm 9dpiui, 11 dptrigger. I had 10000iu.

MarieJ · #18 March 4th, 2009, 08:29 PM

I don't know what to think; all my symptoms are less, less heartburn and passing nausea, less fatigue, some bb twinging, much less infreq cramping, less teary. I am 10dpiui tomorrow.

What if this doesn't work? I guess its onto IVF with a Flare protocol in June. How did we get this far? When TTC DS, I was so against us ever doing IVF. I always felt if we weren't meant to have kids, then we needed to accept that. Why can't I understand that with #2??? I guess the unknown fear of IVF is no longer unknown; we managed to pay and survive everything but ER and ET, I know I have DOR, and basically if a few Flares don't work, its over. If I'm not pg by Christmas, I am done. We will learn to live with one child, and start looking into private or international adoption. But I really want to be pg again, I want another LO with my dark eyes and DH's big head! But maybe there are other LO's out there who need to be with us; in a warm safe house, with lots of food and clothes and toys; with a mom and dad and big brother to help them grow and feel special. I want DS to have a sibling, but it doesn't have to be biological.

MarieJ · #19 March 5th, 2009, 07:46 AM

Two very clear bfn's this morning-I am 10dpiui and 12dptrigger--it took 11 days for my 10000units of hcg trigger to no longer be picked up on FRER.

MarieJ · #20 March 6th, 2009, 07:18 AM

BFN today-still occ'l passing nausea and weird heartburn, but it might all be from the progesterone

I didn't use an FRER today, I'll save those for Sunday or Monday

Today I'm 11dpiui