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Well, obviously, if I'm starting a TTC journal, AF showed up this weekend, and indeed she did, Saturday afternoon. Needless to say, I was disappointed, but a bit relieved, as well, since if she were a no-show and the HPTs continued to be negative, that would mean problems. I'm just praying that her tardiness was due to me stressing out about everything. This month, I'm going to try not to stress so much and just enjoy the baby-making process and keep in mind that God's timing is perfect. That's why Psalm 40:1-3 will be my theme for my TTC journal and my prayer for all of us who are hoping to become mommies at a mature and experienced age.
"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord." (NIV)
So, I'm on CD4 and we're going to try this again. I rented the Nova special "Life's Greatest Miracle" and it's just amazing that anyone ever gets pregnant at all! I'd like for DH to watch it, but I don't know if I can convince him to. He'd rather not know, I think. He enjoys the conception part (what man doesn't? ) and looks forward to the child-rearing part, but the whole pregnancy/labor thing...I think it terrifies him! Ha!
I have normally always had a 26 day cycle, but since I went 29 days this past month, I'm being conservative and expecting a 27 day cycle. I'm going to track my CM this month, and had planned to chart my BBT, but this weekend was a bit hectic and my sleep patterns have been off because of it, so I haven't started to do that and I don't know if it's too late to start or not. (We had a sick kitty that had to be rushed to the animal emergency clinic. She's OK, but gave us a scare!) I guess that's about it for me today. I'll try to keep this journal pretty much up-to-date. It really helps me to write out what I'm thinking and feeling through this. It's therapeutic!
AF finally bid her farewells yesterday, so we're moving toward predicting ovulation in about a week. I haven't been as consistent with my BBT charting as I would have liked, due to craziness going on and now I have a sore throat and infection which has had some effect on my temperature the past few days, so I don't know how accurate my charting will be this month. I'm going to judge more by CM and see how that goes. If nothing happens this month, I am going to make an appointment with my doctor to have fertility tests done, just for peace of mind. Part of me thinks that the reason we aren't conceiving is due to our stressful jobs, particularly for DH. He is constantly stressed with work and it's hard to get him to relax, even when BD is going on!
Nothing really new to report, but I'm trying to keep this journal fairly up-to-date, if only for my own sanity!
OK, maybe I can get back on track with this thing and not hit the wrong button and post incorrectly! This has been a rough couple of weeks, with my kitty getting sick and DH being sick and this week I've been on antibiotics for a throat infection. Ugh! I am on CD11 and I think my fertile time is within the next couple of days. CM is getting stretchy, but no temp spike yet. We BD'd twice yesterday...our day off, so we take advantage of that! Will probably try to BD for the next 3 or 4 days if DH isn't too tired. Yes, he's an odd man...too tired for BD??!!! I hope all the meds I've been on early in the week won't have a negative effect. I'm paranoid about everything I put into my body these days!
I'm having one of those baby-fever depression days where you just feel like there's no way it's ever going to happen. Between my age, my stressful job and DH's even MORE stressful job, and just the normal odds of getting pregnant in the first place, I just feel helpless and overwhelmed. My most fertile time is the next few days, though. So, we'll try again and hope and pray for the best. I've made up my mind that if it doesn't happen this month, I'm going in for the tests, just for peace of mind, if nothing else. If everything is OK, hopefully it will relieve some of my fears and concerns. And if not, at least we'll know what we're dealing with and will be able to face it and overcome whatever obstacles we need to. I just wish I didn't run into a pregnant woman or someone with a baby every time I turn around. It's like salt in the wounds. Yesterday, I was at a local used book store and there was a lady in there with four children, all probably under the age of 6, at least, and her belly was swollen with another on the way and I just thought, "why is it so easy for some and not for others?" Ugh! I hate this feeling.
Today should be ovulation day, and it might very well be. CM was EW yesterday, but no temp spike this morning, so it hasn't happened yet. We have BD plans for this evening, of course. I bought a book from a used book store that I thought was full of tips on getting pregnant faster, but ended up being a book basically telling me that at the age of 37, the chances of getting pregnant without medical help are extremely slim and will drop even more dramatically when I turn 38 in December, which didn't help with my baby-fever depression AT ALL. I decided to stop reading it. I need positive reinforcement! I can accept the possibility of needing medical assistance, but I am just not ready to admit defeat yet. I have normal cycles with no abnormalities whatsoever so far in my history. My DH is young and has no problems that we know of. Until I am told that it just isn't going to happen for us, I'm not giving up hope. And even if THAT happens, I am not counting myself out.
For those who share the Christian faith, I am meditating today on Ephesians 3:20-21.
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!"
I like that much better than the clinical doggy-downers who wrote that other book!
Well, here we go. 2WW all over again! I had an obvious temp spike this morning, but I think I actually ovulated on Saturday, because yesterday, I couldn't take my BBT at the appropriate time and CM pretty much dried up yesterday. We got a lot of BD in on Friday and Saturday like we were supposed to, now the rest is in God's hands. So here comes the long climb up the highest hill on the rollercoaster. UGH!
Well, it's official. According to my chart, I did ovulate on Saturday, which means I am 3DPO. We BD'd on Friday night AND Saturday morning. I don't know how our timing could get any better, so we'll see what happens! I feel really good this month...just physically and emotionally. I don't know if that means anything. I just feel really positive and hopeful. Hope that means I'll get a BFP!! If not, well, we'll just get back up and try again!
I wanted to share a story of encouragement, particularly for those who have ovulation problems. A friend that I work with was having fertility problems and they found out she wasn't ovulating. So the doctors put her on Clomid. She was on that for a while and still nothing was happening, so she went off the medication and I guess, pretty much resigned herself to the fact that she wasn't able to conceive, so they started making other plans. A short time later, she turned up pregnant...with twins! After having the twins, a boy and a girl, she was told that she was NOT ovulating at all and that she would not be able to have any more children. Shortly after that, she turned up pregnant again...with TWINS!! Yes, she had TWO sets of twins! So, now she has four babies! So, don't lose hope! There is a greater power at work here and He can do "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine"!
First of all, congratulations to Kim on her beautiful BFP!!!! I am so excited for her because a new life is such a blessing and every one of us deserves that blessing. I just know in my heart that soon I will have the same exciting news and I pray that all the other wonderful ladies on this board will have the same good news VERY soon!!! I am 6DPO today and still feeling pretty good. Too early to have any symptoms, probably, so nothing much to report. If we have a little bean in there, it should be trying to stick in the next 3 days or so. Fingers crossed!!!
Well, today I am 10 DPO. I've been having a few symptoms so far, but they could be related to AF, so I'm trying not to get too excited. My BBs have been REALLY sore for two days, more so than last month. Normally, I don't have sore BBs at all, though, so I'm not sure what to think of that. I've also had mild to moderate cramping for about 3 days. At 7 DPO, I had some major cramping a couple of times, like pinching in the center and left side, but no spotting that I've noticed. I've also had some nausea, but it may be too early for that to be a symptom. Other than the usual hormonal grouchiness, I'm feeling pretty good about things, so we'll see what happens! AF is due on Friday. I'm really praying for a BFP this time because our lives are getting ready to get really busy at work and I fear DH and I will either be too tired or won't even see each other long enough to try next month!
Well, I should be about 13 DPO today. Yesterday I had NO energy. I just wanted to lay down and sleep. Of course, it was the 4th and our church was doing a huge celebration and my job was to take pictures, so I couldn't lay down and sleep. It has never felt SO good to lay down as it did last night! I've also been very thirsty. I usually drink a lot of water anyway, (so I never list frequent urination as a symptom. I have it all the time!) but it seems like I can't drink enough. My BBs feel like someone is holding matches on them, which is different from last month, which was just PMS soreness. This morning and most of today I have been pretty nauseous and when I stepped outside this morning this horrible smell hit me...smelled like sour milk or something only worse and I nearly lost my breakfast. I asked DH if he smelled it when he left and he said he hadn't smelled anything unusual. I've been cramping a lot today, which feels a lot like AF cramps, but no sign of her yet. I seem to have an over abundance of CM, too. I'm not saying I'm PG, because until I test, who knows? But, I wanted to list the symptoms I HAVE been having this week, just in case I am. I am determined to wait to test. AF is due either today or tomorrow. (My chart says tomorrow, but I started spotting a day earlier than my chart considers the first day, so it could be today.) I want to try to wait until Monday to test, if AF doesn't show up, but I don't know if I'll be able to wait that long. At any rate, my next journal post will be after I test, or if AF shows. Whichever happens, I am trying not to obsess so much this month so that if I'm not, my stress won't delay my normal body function! We've had several BFPs in the group this month! I hope I can add my name to the list!!