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I am so upset with me BF


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  #1  
November 10th, 2005, 08:00 AM
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what doesn't he understand??? He doesn't respect me at all, he is always telling me he will call and doesn't, he questions everything I do and say. He even went as far last week-end to miss out on my sister's Engagement party, in which he is good friends with her fiance and went to high school with my sister, then to top that off came home early from his "little outing" with his buddy and never came home, then he ignored all my calls and messages all week-end until 9:30OM when he just decided to show up. I don't understand his new "silent treatment" Im going to be 21 not 1, its crazy, I don't just want to throw away an almost 5 year realtionship, I just don't know what to say to him, I've told him over and over how this makes me feel and I told him its not hard, if you are busy or cannot talk I can respect that but just answer the phone or call me and say Im busy I'll call or talk to you after, or Ill be home at this time, he canot even even give me a time when he will be home, he just shows up when he wants, I dont understand what is going on here, any advice.
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  #2  
November 10th, 2005, 08:04 AM
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guys suck sometimes.. and sometimes the only way to get their attention is to play their game..stop being so available to him..Find other things to do..make em up if you have too..stop answering every time he calls you and not be so accountable to his every question ..just my two cents. .
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  #3  
November 10th, 2005, 09:08 AM
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Well thanks baby~shawty, I will try, its sometimes hard. We were broken up for 3 month July 26-Oct 26 2005 and nothing has changed...I dont know what to think or do?
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  #4  
November 10th, 2005, 10:57 AM
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It doesnt sound like there's a lot of communication happening. When talking doesn't work, sometimes it's good to see a counselor. They can really help when it comes to seeing things from each other's perspectives. In my opinion though, it doesn't seem like much respect is here.
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  #5  
November 18th, 2005, 07:09 AM
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JUST AN UPDATE:
Well all this week I didn't have an sexual contact with Gerald, and he has been picking fights with me all the time, I had found out that he lied to me and was out with a girl last Sat night at the bar he told me he didn't want me to go to, he denies it and not like I care cause I was with 2 guys that I've lied to Gerald about. We were not together but he could have just said yes I was there with her but he wont, I live at that bar that he was at so I will talk to my girlz whom work there and find out, it seems like he is trying to make it look like I was there, he is claming he saw me at this bar which I wasn't there, he is making it look like he is trying to make a stroy to cover his own, you know what I mean?

Anyhow so he did sleep here Mon, Tues, and Wed night. but in the monring when he left he didn't give me a hug, kiss, or even say bye he just walked right out and slammed the door but came back every evening like it was all good. Then last night I called him and said are you coming over he's like NO! I'm like well are you sleeping here he's like NO! Im like Ok, why? Hes like cause I don't feel like it. SO Im like Oh yeah ######! it's the weekend so let me guess your going to ignore me, call me every name in the book, etc etc just like the past 2 other weekends Gerald? and he's like nope, you just have to many secertes for me and your hididng too too much, which again he is guily from last weekend in my eyes so he has to make it look like I'm the bad one, Right? I'm like w/e you have to do Gerald do it and he's like Ok and hangs up, I call him back and he's like WHAT? and Im like dont be like that hes like well your social life seems pretty full and doesnt seem like there is any room for me, between the phone, intereny and your friends stopping by your place you seem busy enough not to have me in your life, Im like what the hell you want me to put a out of order sign on the door, shut the computer off and the ringer off on the phone and he replies that would be nice...OMG! I cannot belive this, he is like a child whom needs 24\7 attention...what is wrong with this guy? really there is something wrong! I dont get it. He want everything to revolve around him, he has a HUGE social life which NEVER has me included and his cell phone is always ringing so what the screw is he talking about? He is so hypacritical it makes me sick, everything is cool for him to do but not me. Really, I love him but I dont understand him and his views and wants, there are more needy then Madison's....LOL Then I said to him well you were too interested in hugging me or kissing me or anything he's like I didnt want to have sex with you or touch you and Im like I didnt want to have sex either but thats not what I said and hes like we feelings are mutual and hung up and I havent talked to him since he wont answer his phone or return my calls, so I dont know. He does this every weekend as you are probably starting too see, I dont know why? I really dont? I know manly cause he can, and he knows I will take him back on Sunday when he comes back BUT this Sunday IM NOT and thats a final decision, Im going to take him back when Im ready and maybe he will see....



Any advice? that you havent given? LOL

Thansk Tina
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  #7  
November 19th, 2005, 05:33 PM
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If you keep calling him over and over, it sounds like you are the one needing attention. I would hold off on calling him for a while and let him snap out of his funk. The fact that both of you have been with other people and have lied about it and that's ok it sounds like, is kinda disturbing. It sounds like you guys need to seek some counseling and talk through your issues? Do you have kids together? If so, I would really suggest counseling. Just my thoughts, hope I didn't offend, but this it what it looks like from this side, I might be missing something.
I really am sorry that you are going through this. I know how it can get during the rough spots and I hope you are able to work it out for the best.
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  #8  
November 19th, 2005, 06:59 PM
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Well we have NO kids together and we are not together.
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  #9  
December 5th, 2005, 04:18 AM
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K, Gerald (the EX) has changed his number. so I guess I have no choice but to ove on right????? except he drives by and "checks-up
".... Plus I should want to, eh? UPDATE:

This is what I figure even know Im hurting: I donít have to walk on egg shells around him, I donít have anyone to answer to except my "real father"...lol now I have 1 not 2..He He....I donít have to worry if he is going to ignore me or talk to me, if he is going to be on time, who Im sleeping with this week, having my feet ran over with him truck, or my arms in windows, I donít need to be put down, or called names, I donít need to have sleepless night over him walking out on me or wondering if he is going to be with me this week or not? I donít have to worry about spending money on him for x-mas and b-day...etc and getting nothing in return and plain and simple I get to be the Tina I was back before this all started in 2001, now to get there, its going to be hard but I can do it, I wasn't happy, he wasn't happy, and if you donít feel the same about one another it will never work, I know I left with good intentions at heart, I know I Loved him, I know I wanted to be with him, I know I wasnít cheating...etc you know it all, he left calling me names and saying everything he could to make me feel 3-feet tall, but you know something I am 7 feet tall today cause he will not control my life anymore, I wont be losing any more sleep over this, its not worth my pain to someone who feels none. He cares about himself only, and all this bull###### I should of ran from years ago, maybe he feels the same but there you go we both will be happier. I know I am truthful and he is the one throwing it all away, he will regret ever doing this some day and by then it will be way to late in my books, I hope I can stay strong and that I donít just allow him to walk back in my life freely like I've been doing. TINA STAY STRONG.....he he anyhow this is a lot to read so Ill stop....lol
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  #10  
December 6th, 2005, 08:39 PM
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Quote:
what doesn't he understand??? He doesn't respect me at all, he is always telling me he will call and doesn't, he questions everything I do and say. He even went as far last week-end to miss out on my sister's Engagement party, in which he is good friends with her fiance and went to high school with my sister, then to top that off came home early from his "little outing" with his buddy and never came home, then he ignored all my calls and messages all week-end until 9:30OM when he just decided to show up. I don't understand his new "silent treatment" Im going to be 21 not 1, its crazy, I don't just want to throw away an almost 5 year realtionship, I just don't know what to say to him, I've told him over and over how this makes me feel and I told him its not hard, if you are busy or cannot talk I can respect that but just answer the phone or call me and say Im busy I'll call or talk to you after, or Ill be home at this time, he canot even even give me a time when he will be home, he just shows up when he wants, I dont understand what is going on here, any advice.[/b]

Mine does stuff like that, too. AND has the nerve to tell me that I'm always lying to him about everything, when I'm not. And stuff like that really hurts. He even ditched me on my birthday to watch his brother fight some guy and loose. Heh. I'm beginning to think that I'd rather be with a woman!

Edit: So he belittled you, too? Mark's that way. He'll even tell me to shut up in front of his family and friends! It pisses me off, and then he has the nerve to ask why I'm acting mad.
How did you get up the nerve to leave?

Holy crap. Nevermind. I'm such a dork! I didn't read all the posts! lol
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  #11  
December 7th, 2005, 05:55 AM
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Hey leaving is the first step hun and once you've done that just dont ever look back, its been not even a week and I went from 3 inches tall to 7 feet tall, you can do it, get away, far far away, how long have you been with this "thing"???
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  #12  
December 8th, 2005, 04:53 PM
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UPDATE:

Today: he calls me and tells me he is calling to return a msg I had left last week-end with one of his buddies, I told him I didn't remember, which I donít. Anyhow the convo goes on (Last week-end I went to this Nascar store) and Gerald (the EX) was there, when he seen me and my dad he left, so tonight when I was talking to him I asked him why he left he replies " Cause I wanted to and you didn't seem to interested in me" pissed anyhow Im like ok whatever, and then he feels the need to tell me how his life is GREAT!!! and how he doesn't want to talk to me or hear anything from me pissed HE IS THE ONE WHO CALLED ME, I don't even know his #, he changed it! What the hell is wrong with this "thing"????? I don't understand his point! Just the fact that he said his life is GREAT! means its NOT! cause he would of left that untouched if it was, you agree? and why did he call in the first place, the reason above is a bunch of Bull s**t......he is messed, he wants to keep OPEN COMMUNICATION...JMO thumbs down I don't want any communication with him at this point or maybe ever, and he blocks his # when he calls, and I get so many friends and family calling blocked # that I answer them all, I just don't get it, I really don't. OPINIONS
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  #13  
December 15th, 2005, 04:51 PM
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I know it must be hard when you've been together for five years, but I think it is great that you aren't seeing him anymore. It is difficult to get over someone, but from the outside looking in, reading your posts - you do deserve more than he is giving you! I guess too, if you had been with other guys while going out with him, it sounds like you guys just weren't meant to be and you will find someone better for you.

I know that if this was happening to a friend of yours, you'd think no way would i let a guy treat me with that much disrespect, and you'd probably tell your friend to drop that guy so fast! So i'm glad you're feeling in a good place about it all. Why do you keep running into each other - do you live in a small town?

Anyway good luck with staying away from him. I really hope it works out for you because reading all your posts it sounds like the best thing is for you to be without him! I know my aunty used to say that if you're young and dating someone and you have to work so hard to try to be happy then maybe it's just not worth it and not the right guy for you!

I would try to rise above his calling you as it sounds like he's just itching for a fight. if you do need to answer your calls, just nicely say you'd rather not speak to him, say goodbye, and hang up. it will probably drive him crazy that you're doing that, but i think the important thing is to respect YOURSELF, because he really doesn't sound like he's worth it! good luck - you will meet someone new!
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  #14  
December 16th, 2005, 04:05 AM
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Quote:
I know it must be hard when you've been together for five years, but I think it is great that you aren't seeing him anymore. It is difficult to get over someone, but from the outside looking in, reading your posts - you do deserve more than he is giving you! I guess too, if you had been with other guys while going out with him, it sounds like you guys just weren't meant to be and you will find someone better for you.[/b]
Ok, I just want to say I've never cheated on him, EVER! I was with another guy cause this one kept breaking up me 1400 times a month.

Quote:
I know that if this was happening to a friend of yours, you'd think no way would i let a guy treat me with that much disrespect, and you'd probably tell your friend to drop that guy so fast! So i'm glad you're feeling in a good place about it all. Why do you keep running into each other - do you live in a small town?[/b]
Yes, we live VERY close together

Quote:
Anyway good luck with staying away from him. I really hope it works out for you because reading all your posts it sounds like the best thing is for you to be without him! I know my aunty used to say that if you're young and dating someone and you have to work so hard to try to be happy then maybe it's just not worth it and not the right guy for you![/b]
Thanks I hope you are right.

Quote:
I would try to rise above his calling you as it sounds like he's just itching for a fight. if you do need to answer your calls, just nicely say you'd rather not speak to him, say goodbye, and hang up. it will probably drive him crazy that you're doing that, but i think the important thing is to respect YOURSELF, because he really doesn't sound like he's worth it! good luck - you will meet someone new![/b]
Well THE EX has taken it into his hands to change his # 5 times already since last Sunday, he has given up the calling but who knows when he will restart, never know with a person like this, if you read me?
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