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Every since our son turned 16. My IL's keep telling me to allow our son to get his license. Your dh is disabled. He won't be able to drive the rest of his life etc. etc. Christmas was the kicker on that one. I ripped into sil big time. I said my foot is staying down. Our son will not get his license until the bad attitude changes, he is showing responsibilty around the house, school etc. and will earn some of the money related to driving. That I said he must come up with insurance money, money for a car of his own and just show he is responsible enough to be a driver. Which he has done nothing to that effect. Of course the IL's push the dh is disabled issue. I said yeah. And our son will not be living at home for ever. He will graduate high school(in O7)Go to college(hopefully)Maybe get married and start his own family so on and so on. So he will not be around all the time for dh to drive him places when he can't do it himself. But oh no I got to let him drive at all costs. Yeah well I said when a teen driver is in the house. Our insurance agent said our rates will double. We can't afford that. IL's are saying no way. It's only like 70$ every three months for his insurance. Where are they coming from with that. Maybe back in the 70's and 60's prices were that cheap. But not these days. Then I told the IL's our son had a drinking incident back in June. He was drunk to the alchohol poisoning level. And I'm going to let him get a drivers license. That is being unresponsible. They say he's probably not drinking anymore. We don't know that. That stupid liquer store that sold him the booze in June is still in business. Another issue not for now. Then all the other things our son done that are irresponsible. The computer mess we are dealing with. I again tell my IL's my foot is staying down. He knows what he needs to do to earn the privilage to drive. They tell me I'm to hard on our son. Lighten up. My dh is on my side on all this. So I said to my sil. Her son is 3 months older than ours. How come your Jared is not driving. He will be 17 in January. Oh he has no interest in driving. I think she won't admitt I am right on the cost of insurance related to teen drivers. Actually her dd just turned 16 and is not in drivers ed either. They say dd has no interest either in driving. My mil goes to dh on this. Dh actually stood up for me. Agreeing with what I told them has to happen first. I don't know why the IL's think they have to butt in to my parenting. He's not their child to do with as they choose.
I think it is about time that your DH tells these people to butt out of your guys business!! If DS is not taking responsibility to improve is actions, earn money for the privilage of driving, then tough crap you dont drive. I dont see why they think this is such a big deal if they know the stuff DS has been up to, even still if they dont, they should know that you are not allowing him for no reason and to leave it at that. From what you have been saying, it sounds like DS's behavior has gotten worse in some of the things he is doing other than the disrespect and not helping out. I would just make sure that you stand by what you said to DS in that until he changes and earns the money then he is not driving. I am surprised the agent said it would only double, usually for a boy it is triple that, and hopefully the agent does not get word of the drinking incident or it could affect it more.
This won't be the end of it. Everytime there is a family something. Someone will bring it up. Each time I will say I am his mother. My foot stays down. That I will not explain to you again why my foot stays down on this. Or I might just say well are you going to buy him a car, pay for drivers ed, car insurance etc. If your not. Then don't even demand I must allow our son to drive. He can wait till he's 18 and out of high school. Unless he meets the stipulations I put on him driving. If he thinks driving is important to him. He'll be doing whatever it takes to meet those stipulations including finding a part time job to raise some money.
ITA with what you're doing. I know what you're talking about and now I think it's a requirement for ILs to think they're supposed to be involved with the raising of their children's children or brother or sister's children. What's great is that your DH is totally supporting you. If they bring it up maybe start harrassing them about the 16 and 17 year old that don't have their's. You've obviously had to repeat yourself on your reasonings maybe just switch it.
I think that your IL's need to butt the hell out of your business. They have no right to tell you what you need to do with your son. Sorry, but you call the shots with YOUR kid. Tell them, "Fine, if you want my son to drive, YOU buy him a car, YOU pay the insurance, and YOU give him gas money." I'm sure they will have a couple of negative things to say about that. LOL.
Always missing my 3 angels. 2/9/06, 3/12/11, 5/22/12
I would LOVE to see a $70 insurance for me. LOL! before I got my car I drive now, LIABLILY insurance was $250+/month for 6 months [I forget now, liability is required by NC state]. Now I have to have full coverage, and we played around with insurance of primary driver and what not, its still a butt load. The joys of being 19, and having only a few years experience.
But I couldn't agree more with working for your right to drive. You can't fully appresiate driving, and the responsibility that goes along with it, until you do your part. Seeing where my paycheck goes as far as bills, really puts things into perspective. If he really wants to drive, he'll take the responsibility.
Proud Mommy To My Princess (5)
Watching over us -- August 2005, March 2010, October 2010, July 2011