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(((HUGS))) Wow, I am so sorry you had it so bad growing up and still having to deal with it as an adult!!! Sort of sounds like they way my in laws are. They can not respect the boundaries put in place for the kids, and have no consideration for my son who also has asthma that gets worse around cigarette smoke. The kids come first, and since they do not want to listen, they have no contact with the kids. They only live 15 minutes away and have NEVER made any sort of effort what so ever to ever come and see them.
I would say that is going to have to be sadly. It may or may not get through to her, but from the sounds of things, I doubt your mom will ever get the point until she stops drinking and takes care of her mental health issues. Your son comes first and you need to do whatever is necessary to protect him, especially if people blatantly disregard your rules where he is concerned.
Good Luck!! KUP