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Big Decisions to make


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  #1  
March 14th, 2009, 12:52 PM
mummy2angel&ray's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: calgary alberta canada
Posts: 1,905
SO I posted on here a while ago about my problems with FH. My feeligs haven't really changed at all and i'm still very unhappy. I've been thinking alot about my life and where it's headed and i'm not liking where it's going.

My thoughts are that after baby #2 is here in Sept and is a little older, that in 2010 I might leave FH and move to a small town about 1.5 hours away so I can go to school there and persue my dreams. I have been wanting to take this course that is too far away from here for years. I never did it because I went from one serious relationship to this one. All I did was work and than move in with FH which I feel was a big mistake on my part. I was not anticipating a pregnancy so soon after that but it happened. And those plans went out the door.

I'm only 23, FH is 37. He is who he is and he will never change. I know this from the last 2 years i've been living with him. We were so in love and he was so different, but when we moved in together it all changed, especially when we started to have his girls every other week. He's not who I fell in love with, and is not someone I don't think I can spend the rest of my life with. Not with how things are and have been for the past 1.5 years.
He just lives each day like it's normal and nothing is wrong. He doesn't see the problems even when I talk to him about it.

I think it would be good for me to persue my dreams and have the life that I want to have. Also it would be good for him to try and get his life on track. Pay off his debt, and start saving up. Neither of us is getting anywhere living life this way.

I know it's a big decision but i'm not finalising yet. Unless Jay can step up, or make some compromises with me than it's something I will strive for. I haven't spoken to him about this yet as the timing is not good... But I will talk to him about our situation and that i've definetely had enough. If he's not willing to change some things for good than I will have to give him back the ring he gave to me. Either way though I still want to go back to school...*sigh* why is life so hard..
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  #2  
March 15th, 2009, 01:16 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
((HUGS)) I hope things work out for you the way you want them!!
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  #3  
March 24th, 2009, 05:37 AM
Alchemist's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,243
Hey honey. You say he's changed but how? The relality is that scienctifically, pheremones of a new realtionship wear off within 2 years. maybe you are experiencing this. Having said that, are you talking about your futures, making plans, negotiating things etc? a relationship isnt a seperate identity. its a part of you and him combinded otherwise you land up living parallel and sometimes seperate lives........
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  #4  
April 10th, 2009, 03:43 PM
bigplantnerd
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I was in the same situation for 8 years. I met him when I was 16 and he was 25. I grew up and he didn't, and that's exactly what's happening to you. Sorry you have to go through this, just know that you will be fine.
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