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  #1  
March 24th, 2009, 05:57 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,748
Me.. they drive me crazy. My boyfriend and I have a daughter who is 10 months old and when I was pregnant he said " Oh it will be half and half we will split the duties with her" Well he stays up until 3am every single night and sleeps in until 12 it drives me crazy! So I brought it up how it wasn't fair that I am ALWAYS getting up with her and he never is and he goes " I like my sleep what can I say" Like what a cocky thing to say I was so frustrated because I love my sleep too. He thinks because he works and that im home right now on mat leave that I should do everything. I am also in college I go 2 days a week and do an online course also. It's just SO frustrating! There are other things that build up too.. he tells me when im upset to talk to him about it and not let it build up but when I do he picks a fight with me and always try to make him sound in the right.. so annoying!
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  #2  
April 17th, 2009, 06:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: cny
Posts: 3,230
oh don't i hear that!!!! My hubby plays the same card here...

It's ok for him to be unhappy or upset.. But god forbid i wake up or get in a mood,,, i get called names bla bla

I'm sorry any of us have to go threw that

I of corse to keep peace in the house MOSTLY appologize,,,, I haven't heard him appologize for ANY OF HIS ACTIONS in a LONG TIME : it's frustrating...
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Last edited by jtcpb12; April 17th, 2009 at 06:18 AM. Reason: add
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  #3  
April 17th, 2009, 04:55 PM
proud_mommy_2.13.09's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 3,810
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OMG!!! Its like your boyfriend is my Fiance! Its scary. When I was pregnant with our son he was all excited and was ready to help out, yet once I had our son, it was all on my shoulders. He started his new job the monday after our son was born (Robert DS was only 2 days old) and I had no help, not even from him. Everytime I try to ask for help he just says "I just work all day" I want to slap him up side his head! (his Uncle did that one time lol it was funny) and i ask him if he could get up 1 time with DS bc I wasn't feeling good and he said he would but when it came down to it he didn't get up. I wish I knew advice to give you but I'm kinda in the same boat. I'm just debating now if I really want to get married to this kind of man. GL
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  #4  
April 18th, 2009, 02:51 AM
NavyBrat88
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Ok ladies I am so sorry you're in this position. Same thing with my ex when it came to HIS daughter.

Your men say they work all day but do they think being a mother is exactly easy?
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  #5  
April 18th, 2009, 07:30 AM
stardusthealer's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Brunswick, Canada
Posts: 642
A fathers job does not end just because he comes home from work. Your bf's need to roll up those sleeves and jump in. They were not complaining when they were making that baby so they can't complain now. Don't give them the choice you don't get the choice to not get up and feed the baby. You don't have a choice in whether a diaper is changed. Don't give him the choice either. Parenting is a partnership and these men need to realize that.
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  #6  
May 18th, 2009, 06:50 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: cny
Posts: 3,230
Shoot my husband thinks ( & thinking about it my ex bf usued to do this to ) Thinks when there child goes home there job ends... Then it's ok to get a good buzz on... BUT they forget the child that STILLL lives in the house ( eventho it's not there's tech ) still sees this... Your job doesn't END when your bio child goes home.. needs to be tought somewhere somehow down the line... Sorry small vent
don't get me wrong my hubby does good for the most part... but sometimes & just wanna say that to him you know
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  #7  
May 18th, 2009, 09:50 PM
Kalia20's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ontario canada
Posts: 5,889
Oh so familiar. I was told when I was pregnant all I had to do when the baby was born was to feed her, he would do everything else on his days off. For the first few months I was lucky to have a shower without getting *****ed at and hearing about it. I mean godforbid he holds his baby for 15 mins.....it wouldnt have been so bad if his side of the family would stop with the whole "its the mothers job to watch the baby" attitude. Ex, she would be flipping out, I would be eating, SO was doing nothing and *I* get chewed out for not dealing with her cause its *my* job to watch her. *sigh*

Now that shes older, I've put him in his place, and told him Im NOT dealing with his parents and their neanderthal mentality (that he was SOOO taking advantage of), things have improved greatly. Hes taken on so much more responsibility, its great. He said he was afraid of hurting her. Whatever, they have a great relationship now.
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  #8  
May 22nd, 2009, 10:52 AM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
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I have news for your ladies... apparently husbands act this exact same way whether or not you are a SAHM or a WAHM. I never get a second to myself, since I'm either working or taking care of my twin girls. But my husband has all the time in the world to play golf for 6-8 hours at a time, go workout at the gym, sleep on the couch for hours at a time, etc. At night I get up a minimum of 4 times (usually more) to tend to a wakeful baby. If he wakes up once it's rare (and then, of course, he thinks he gets up "just as much" as I do & complains the next day about how tired he is!) If I try to wake him up becuase both girls are crying at once & I need him, I have to say his name several times, louder each time because he isn't waking up, and by the last time it's a shout, so he gets angry because I'm yelling. Then, if I ask him to do something - this morning it was to hold one baby & burp her - he doesn't do it. Fine, take it otu on me, but not on the baby! It's so unfair. This morning I cried and cried. I'm glad this board is here, I really needed to vent.
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Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!


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  #9  
May 22nd, 2009, 11:02 AM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashypoo03 View Post
Me.. they drive me crazy. My boyfriend and I have a daughter who is 10 months old and when I was pregnant he said " Oh it will be half and half we will split the duties with her" Well he stays up until 3am every single night and sleeps in until 12 it drives me crazy! So I brought it up how it wasn't fair that I am ALWAYS getting up with her and he never is and he goes " I like my sleep what can I say" Like what a cocky thing to say I was so frustrated because I love my sleep too. He thinks because he works and that im home right now on mat leave that I should do everything. I am also in college I go 2 days a week and do an online course also. It's just SO frustrating! There are other things that build up too.. he tells me when im upset to talk to him about it and not let it build up but when I do he picks a fight with me and always try to make him sound in the right.. so annoying!
Isn't it awful when someone says one thing and then does another? My husband and I talked about how we would share childcare before our girls were born. None of it happened.
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Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!


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  #10  
May 22nd, 2009, 04:37 PM
Maia's Mama's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashypoo03 View Post
Me.. they drive me crazy. My boyfriend and I have a daughter who is 10 months old and when I was pregnant he said " Oh it will be half and half we will split the duties with her" Well he stays up until 3am every single night and sleeps in until 12 it drives me crazy! So I brought it up how it wasn't fair that I am ALWAYS getting up with her and he never is and he goes " I like my sleep what can I say" Like what a cocky thing to say I was so frustrated because I love my sleep too. He thinks because he works and that im home right now on mat leave that I should do everything. I am also in college I go 2 days a week and do an online course also. It's just SO frustrating! There are other things that build up too.. he tells me when im upset to talk to him about it and not let it build up but when I do he picks a fight with me and always try to make him sound in the right.. so annoying!
I'm going through the same thing! I would get so frustrated because Maia would wake up crying and he'd just roll over and act like he don't even hear her. Then one time she was fussing and I was trying to calm her down and he actually turned over and said "Will you STFU so I can get some sleep!" Ummm...are you kidding me?! I dunno why guys are so **** lazy and think that their job ends when they walk in the door.

I've tried stressing to my bf that he NEEDS to help more. I'm going to school and have about 2 weeks left, I have to study. And I can't do that on 3-4 hours of sleep every night cuz he can't even get up to change and feed her a couple times a night.

I even have problems getting CS from him too. He's given me 100 before Maia was born to buy her some things, then he gave me another 100 2 weeks ago. I don't know where he goes about thinking that 100 a month is enough to help support his daughter, but I'm ready to smack him upside his head! I hate the fact that he isn't man enough to help take care of his own daughter. And I'm mad cuz I know Maia deserves a much better father.

Sorry to hijack your thread, but I had to vent a little myself...
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  #11  
May 24th, 2009, 09:43 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 939
Here's a thought, work overnights. I do and DH sure has to get up with DS. It does not help my sleep but at least he is starting to get it .
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