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Ugggh, this is my first time ranting here, but booooy do I need to let it out!
See, I had a D&C today (eh) and I was soooo hungry. BEFORE the operation I even mentioned that I wanted McDonalds when we went home. Well, my surgery comes and goes and I'm back at the house right? I ask if he can get me McDonalds and what does he do? He says "I'm waiting for an important phone call." So I sit there for 2 hours and no one calls and I'm like "What the hell??" so I go and just make myself some Mozerella Sticks. He comes in the room and reaches for one and I'm like "Excuse me? These aren't for you." and he looks at me and then he's all "God, what is your problem?" So I tell him that since he didnt want to go get me McDonalds that I made myself some food and he can make his own, but he can't eat mine. (Selfish I know, but he does this ALL THE TIME!)
All I wanted was McDonalds. But nooooo, he has to sit there and make remarks about how I'm being "Jewish" and I need to learn to share. What the hell? He needs to learn to BE SUPPORTIVE AND UNSELFISH for ONCE!
When he found out that the baby didn't have a heartbeat on monday, he only thought of his feelings, not of mine. He went out and did a whole bunch of stupid things (got drunk, pointed his gun at some bouncer, and then ran his car into a stop sign) and then came home and gave me a guilt trip, yelled at me, and told me to get the hell out of his house (at 2am). I wanted to rip him to pieces!
Why do men have to be so stupid?
Always missing my 3 angels. 2/9/06, 3/12/11, 5/22/12
Sweetie, he sounds like a jerk! He should be supporting you through this and giving you love and pampering after your D & C. I realize that he is going though a tough time as well and is probably grieving in his own way but you are the one physically going through all this and he should be there for you.
That's a man thing. Well maybe not all men. But a good majority of man thing. I know my dh would do the same thing to me. My dh wouldn't ask if I needed something to eat and then go out get it. I hope your doing better now.
Wow!! Are you sure you want to put up with someone like that for the rest of your life? It's not the fact that he didn't go get you food, but the mere fact that he needed to be there for you during your difficult time. How old is he? He sounds VERY immature!!!
Sounds like calling him an insensitive jerk is putting it nicely!!! Wow, I just cant believe he would be like that after what you just went through! Sure we all do different/stupid things when we are upset and angry, but come on, have a little respect and compassion!
All I can do is offer you a shoulder and give you many:
Calling him an insensitive jerk really is putting it nicely.
My ex-husband was exaclty like him. We lost a baby at 28 weeks due to me getting heatstroke, being somewhere I didn't want to be, somewhere he dragged me. I had to be induced and had to deliver the baby, he wouldn't even drop me off at the hospital because it was out of his way. I was a wreck, living in a new country away from my family and felt so alone. I should have known then if he wasn't going to support me through that he never would.
He used to do the same exact thing, wouldn't go and get anything for me but as soon as I was going he wanted something. He wouldn't cook but would eat whatever I was cooking.
Take it from someone who has been there, they don't change. No matter how much you love them they take and take until you feel like you have nothing left of yourself and wake up one day and realise you are turning into them. It took me nine years but I left him and life has been much better since.
The guy I am with now is fabulous. He cooks me dinner, rubs my feet, and when he knows I've had a rough day at work I come home to a nice hot bath surrounded by candles. Yep, life is MUCH better now.
i honestly feel for you!....my bf is on this drinking kick and leaves me behind and goes out and it breaks my heart....i really don't know what to tell you but if he does make you feel bad all the time and doesn't give you support when you need it then he isn't worth keeping no matter how bad it will hurt you to be alone.....i really hope everything works out for you! good luck!.....peace and blessings
Men are so infuriatingly frustrating, and to think that he could treat you like that after your loss is so unforgivable. Urrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh, I could kill him for you. I am so sorry that you had to go thru that, but like you said he is an insensitive jerk!!!
Hell after i miscarried, hubby knew i was starving and took me to KFC for something to eat, and didnt leave my side all night. We were able to talk, and rant, and be angry, be sad. You need to find someone who respects you, not blames you. I realise losing a baby is hard and some men dont know how to deal with there feelings, but come on...this is hard on you too!!!!! Think of yaself, find someone that will treat you right.
Geez, I thought my guy was bad because he won't buy me tampons! I feel so badly for you ladies who wound up those turds! Look, it's not all guys okay? DH can be insensitive a times, but when I had a D&C he put me up on the couch, left for an hour and came home with food, flowers and kitten.
Gosh, I just feel so badly for you guys!!! They're not all like that!
First things first - and I am so sorry for your loss.
Secondly - bad DH bad bad bad
I can certainly see both sides to this situation. Don't get me wrong, I am not defending your DH by any means. What he did was completely insensitive, but he's hurting too. Most men DO NOT know how to deal with feelings like us women. You need to sit down with your DH and tell him exactly how that made you feel.
I've had a D&C before -- it's not pleasant. In fact it down right hurts, not only physically but emotionally as well. Unless you tell him he's not going to understand how you felt. My DH was in Iraq when I had my D&C. I had no one to take care of me and I remember feeling all alone.
Again, I am very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and I am here if you ever need to chat.
GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference ~ Amen.