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I cant do it anymore


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  #1  
March 30th, 2009, 02:56 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: South Florida
Posts: 11
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My fiance is a butt-head. He will cop an attitude with me if we are around friends and try and make me look stupid when he is the immature one he was without a job for 1 year and a half and now that he has a job and I'm out of wok (for a month) it give him the right to treat me the way he wants in front of people. Don't get me wrong he isn't always like this he is amazing when we are alone and is good most of the time in front of others but he will complain about me every so often and my friend of 4 years today said to me"I don't know how Ryan puts up with you" When he is the one who can't support his family was homeless with his son when I met him he is the one who kissed someone else! She said I'll learn that me and him won't work out, yea your right with people telling him I'm awful and planting bugs in his ears your **** right! She is jealous that I have a family that loves me and she is a single parent that has been cheated on and left by countless guys because she cheats and uses and tryes to get pregnant with every guy she has sex with!! I love my fiancethough we may have our problems everyone does. But I'm mad and I'm not sure if I mad at my fiance or my friend!
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  #2  
March 31st, 2009, 04:20 AM
Alchemist's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,243
Sounds like you have issues with both of them. Firstly, i would sit down with your fiance and talk to him about how you are treated in public. Usually when someone critisizes you there are reasons for it. Like i used to 'dis' hubby in public (although i was joking/teasing) and it really hurt him and visa versa. I recognized thati did it becuase there were underlying issues there. I was feeling hurt and i was acting out (in a totally unappropriate way). it took a while to work through it but now when i feel like i am about to dis him, i stop myself and look at what i am feeling. i then approach him to discuss the real issue.

in terms of your friendship, i think its a little different. perhaps similar to the above, but i am less tolerant of having friends that are toxic around me. sometimes my BFF does make a comment etc but so do i. then i think its worth it to go through the above process. but what your friend said sounds beyond the point i would handle. i just drop toxic friends and tell them off. if they are saying things that extreme, it means they have whatever issues and if they are mean, dump 'em......
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  #3  
April 1st, 2009, 07:22 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alchemist View Post
Sounds like you have issues with both of them. Firstly, i would sit down with your fiance and talk to him about how you are treated in public. Usually when someone critisizes you there are reasons for it. Like i used to 'dis' hubby in public (although i was joking/teasing) and it really hurt him and visa versa. I recognized thati did it becuase there were underlying issues there. I was feeling hurt and i was acting out (in a totally unappropriate way). it took a while to work through it but now when i feel like i am about to dis him, i stop myself and look at what i am feeling. i then approach him to discuss the real issue.

in terms of your friendship, i think its a little different. perhaps similar to the above, but i am less tolerant of having friends that are toxic around me. sometimes my BFF does make a comment etc but so do i. then i think its worth it to go through the above process. but what your friend said sounds beyond the point i would handle. i just drop toxic friends and tell them off. if they are saying things that extreme, it means they have whatever issues and if they are mean, dump 'em......
EXACTLY what she said!!!!! You need to have a serious talk with both of them!!
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