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Guy's Night Out


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  #1  
May 4th, 2009, 01:28 PM
.Sam.'s Avatar "All we need is love..."
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 560
I'm kind of at a loss on this. DH wants a guy's night out, which I'm 100% cool with & I trust him. The only thing is I'm really hurt that he didn't think of taking me out first, since we don't get a lot of alone time. I told him that I think he should take me out first and he said it was fine, but he wants to go to the movies, which I'm not a huge fan of. I'm really just wanting the quality time to connect with him since we never get to. I'm just not sure what to do without causing an argument... advice?
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  #2  
May 4th, 2009, 02:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: cny
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IDK i have a couple issues on this.. & who knows if they are right or wrong.. but being prego right now....i have set down the thoughts on the table & if you don't like it & stay out longer than need be.. Fine i sleep on the couch & not talk for 2 days...your bed you stay there!!!

I had no problem with my hubby going out & coming over at all hr's before we got married & such... & untill i got prego.. we went everywhere together anyway so we never had to deal with this till now...idk.... do you have any idea what they wanna do?? Why can't your hubby,,you his friends & your friends all go out??
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  #3  
May 4th, 2009, 04:10 PM
.Sam.'s Avatar "All we need is love..."
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: South Carolina
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They are wanting to go to this place where local bands and bands starting out play.

I can understand him going w/ his friends, as I would like to go with mine. It's just the fact that he though of them first, instead of me. I feel selfish for saying that but he knows how important it is that we spend time together considering we don't get a lot of that. :/
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  #4  
May 4th, 2009, 05:13 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: cny
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i can def understand that... Not the last time my hubby went to his friend Al's but the time before that.. he didn't have his kid & my daughter had a school dance.. so i sat her by myself till she came home & went to bed & i still sat by myself till 10... I would have like'd to see them to.. he said sorry & didn't think ( being i'm prego & all ) he just assumed i didn't wanna go..I didn't wanna go ... but it would have been nice to be asked .. So i def understand that & where you are coming from...

I get this alot.. well do something with your friends while he goes out with his friends... I have any .... Idk it's a hard choice on what to make.. b/c now we will get the hormone attitude or the " PMS " joke.. but they just don't understand.. how this can sometimes hurt our feelings.. just by not asking a simple question...

Maybe say ok.. you do this.. but on x- day we do this.. no movie.. i want this & see how that goes...
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  #5  
May 5th, 2009, 02:56 AM
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Honestly, point blank tell him "Honey, I'm fine with you going out with your friends, but I'd like the two of us to spend sometime together, just talking with no distractions. And I understand you're excited to spend time with your friends, but I need to feel that I came first in your life. When you think of going with your friends first, then of doing something with me, it makes me feel like I don't come first in your life. Can we set aside a day once every week or two weeks where it can just be us spending some quality time together, maybe do something special we don't normally do? That way I'll feel like I have a special place in your life?"

My wife basically had to sit me down and tell me something similar and she still has to remind me from time to time. And I've had to do the same with her. She works over 40hrs a week, so when we have free time together she wants to be with the kids. I adore our children, but I'm with them most of the time (I have a flexiable work scheduel), sometimes I need it to just be the two of us. So we've had to set aside time where it's just the two of us, and time where it's all five of us doing something special. It becomes something to look forward too with our busy scheduels.
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  #6  
May 5th, 2009, 03:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: cny
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My hubby does tell me that to.. that i have to remind him.... i think it's very important to "date" your husband or wife..I hope your hubby listen' s GL KUP
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  #7  
May 5th, 2009, 07:59 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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You need to talk to him and tell him how your feeling and that you want/need to have a little time together to do something.
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  #8  
May 5th, 2009, 01:01 PM
.Sam.'s Avatar "All we need is love..."
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 560
Thanks so much for the advice! I do want to discuss coming up with some kind of dating thing like we used to have, but I'm too chicken it will back fire () and sometimes finances is an issue, but still, I have told him I'm fine just going on a walk.
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  #9  
May 5th, 2009, 10:06 PM
Cheet_oh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My DH suggests for each of us to write down five things the other person enjoys that we wouldn't mind doing...

So for example, DH writes down five things I like to do that he doesn't mind or likes. And then I do the same, you put it in a hat and pull it out.

As far as being not thought of first.. it's coz men are oblivious.. seriously.. 2 second attention spans lol
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  #10  
May 10th, 2009, 08:54 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 939
I have a friend who takes turns planning dates with her DH, maybe you should plan one and then he can. Also, time out is important my DH does not get any and I want him to go out so encourage it if you trust him. Not to be mean but I have found men to be a bit dense and in need of having things spelled out for them so do that for your DH. Tell him what you want to do on your quality time.
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  #11  
May 11th, 2009, 06:39 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puglover View Post
I have a friend who takes turns planning dates with her DH, maybe you should plan one and then he can. Also, time out is important my DH does not get any and I want him to go out so encourage it if you trust him. Not to be mean but I have found men to be a bit dense and in need of having things spelled out for them so do that for your DH. Tell him what you want to do on your quality time.
That sounds like a good idea for you to try, take turns planning the activity.
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