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  #1  
February 22nd, 2006, 10:50 AM
proudmom3's Avatar Wait for it....
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ok i am not sure where to even began, or if i should.

let me just start from the beginning......DH and i met in 2002, i knew from the get go he was a pot head..we did do it together many times....but i became preggers and i stopped all the nonsense.....this was in 2003. sense Dh had been off and on. he never smokes at the house or around me, b/c he knows how i feel about it. OK move forward a bit he said he stopped b/c i said i was going to leave (that may be wrong of me but i was just fed up) well he has been coming home fromwork with that "look" and i just let it slide...but the other day i was sick and took care of 2 sick kids all day, so when he came home looking stoned i flew off the handle! i asked him point blank was he high...he said NO!! i said i am going to go look in you car for weed...he said go ahead you wont find anything.....he got into the shower, so i went to the car and looked..I FOUND WEED! hefty amount i might add. i took it and threw it away

i asked him again if he had any, again he denied it....so i exploded, and told him what i found!! he said it was old and been in there awhile *** ever! i did not beleive it for a minute...well thats all he had to say to me

am i over reacting here? i feel like i am calling the kettle black, b/c of my history.....i dont wont to leave i do love this man with every ounce of me....but he seems not to wont to quit....so what now? what would you do? should i just let it be sense he doesnt do it around us, and isnt affecting his job? i dont know maybe i shouldnt even be posting this kind of stuff. i am just lost of action........he is 28 yr old....i guess i should just let him be his own person???
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  #3  
February 22nd, 2006, 03:33 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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First off let me say WELCOME to the board!! Now, as for what you said, I think you have every right to be upset and what is in your past is just that, the PAST! He is flat out lying to you. I am sure you know the look and can smell it on him, guess that is why he hopped in the shower so fast. As far as what to do, do you honsetly want this stuff around your children? What are you going to do when you catch them smoking it and they say well daddy does it. Would you let him drive with your children in the car when he has the look? I personally would give him a time limit, you need to stop doing this by this date or you have to go. Then you have to be able to stick by it. If he cleans himself up and is willing to do some counseling, then I would take him back so long as he is staying clean. Leaving it up to him to keep his priorities in line and see what is really important.
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  #4  
February 23rd, 2006, 07:09 AM
proudmom3's Avatar Wait for it....
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thanks for the response, your points are so good and i do in my heart know them....... i did give him a date, its April 1st, i told him on that date he will take a drug test and if its positive, me and the kids are gone.....


God its so hard, b/c i do love him so much.....he just makes to furious!
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  #5  
February 23rd, 2006, 08:56 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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You have the kids with you and there is NO reason to force them out of their home because he wants to be a jerk. You tell him to leave and you stay at the house. Hopefully he will get his act together before then and change his ways, but if not, be strong and stick to your guns. Let us know how things go.
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  #6  
February 23rd, 2006, 03:26 PM
MommytoZoeAlyssa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: VA
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Its not the same thing you calling the kettle black or whatever because of what you done in your past.. Its the "past" and this is now. You stoped and changed because you grew up and realized your responsibilitys.. I dont blame you for being mad/upset and going off on him. He is a grown man and should realize he has to help you and espicaly not lie to you about drugs. I mean i used to smoke pot too but things change when you have kids.. Its no longer about you... Its about whats best for your kids no matter what..
I really hope things get better for you and he straightens his act up..
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  #7  
February 24th, 2006, 11:30 AM
mrobinson
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with all the above..

I'm so sorry girl you're having to deal with this.. there maybe a AADAC in your area that can help YOU and the kids understand and learn to work with him... I know you love him so helping him is just everything in our nature... AADAC can help you learn what's healthy and unhealthy help and help you learn the boundaries with his addiction.. even if he won't go. (If he won't go, they and you know what to do...)

I'm so sorry hon - you sound like an awesome mommy for taking care of your babies...
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  #8  
February 24th, 2006, 12:28 PM
proudmom3's Avatar Wait for it....
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Quote:

with all the above..

I'm so sorry girl you're having to deal with this.. there maybe a AADAC in your area that can help YOU and the kids understand and learn to work with him... I know you love him so helping him is just everything in our nature... AADAC can help you learn what's healthy and unhealthy help and help you learn the boundaries with his addiction.. even if he won't go. (If he won't go, they and you know what to do...)

I'm so sorry hon - you sound like an awesome mommy for taking care of your babies... [/b]

what is AADAC?
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I'm a Mommy, Wifey & a MeMe

Jessica: 18
Jordan: 11
Shaelyn: 7
Drake: 3

MeMe to Caleb: 23mos

TS to Lynsey: 9
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  #9  
February 24th, 2006, 12:56 PM
mrobinson
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OOps! AADAC is our local Additions help.. I'm sure there is an AA centre close to help. If you're intereted http://corp.aadac.com/
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  #10  
March 11th, 2006, 05:49 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 740
You should feel so proud of yourself. I think you're very strong, giving him a date and I think you are doing the right thing, as hard as it must be. I agree with another comment someone made, about would you let him drive the kids around if you thought he'd been smoking pot. My dh, myself and my parents are the only ones i feel confident to drive my baby boy around, even though my friends dont' do drugs or whatever, it's just what i feel, but it musn't feel that great if you feel you have to wonder if he's safe to look after your kids. good luck and stay strong.
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