Log In Sign Up

EXDH and housing


Forum: The Venting Room

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To The Venting Room LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
August 15th, 2004, 11:24 PM
grneydgurl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 1,541
Send a message via AIM to grneydgurl Send a message via Yahoo to grneydgurl
Tonight I picked up my son from his weekend with his dad at my parents house, and my son was going on about my ex's new house. My ex was living in a motel for a few months because the house that he was living in was sold and him and his roommate had to move out.

Well, he finally found a place which makes me feel better than my son staying in some motel. BUT the thing is now, my son was saying that this is a house with 6 roommates. Im not sure of the set up but I guess he was saying that his dad and his room mate (which was his roommate from the last place) have the bottom floor which consists of a living room, bathroom and two bedrooms (and my son said he sleeps in the living room, which burns me there that he doesnt have his own room but the other thing is too that the reason he slept in the living room was because his dad hasnt gotten his bed yet a king size bed that he shares with his dad) and on the second floor is enough for 4 roommates. One man already lives there (which Adrian doesn't know his name) and they have a living room, bathroom, a kitchen and 4 bedrooms. So when my ex wants to eat or something they have to go upstairs to where these strange men are living.

My concern is, I dont know who these men are. My ex don't know who these men are. It is like the owner of this house is using it as a boarding house and renting out rooms. It isnt like my ex is getting friends to move in with him. I am livid, I just get the thought in my head that what if these guys "like" little boys. Or not the right "crowd". My son was in tears tonight because I was asking him 20 questions, not that I was saying anything in general, but he did ask me what the big deal was, and I was like I dont want to get a phone call saying that you are missing because of one of these guys. I dont know if I am over reacting or if I should trust my ex. He doesnt make the best decisions. My current DH is livid at the situation too....mostly because Adrian still shares a bed with his father at 10 years of age.

I dont know, I just had to get this off of my chest and I know you ladies would listen.
__________________
<div align="center"> </div>
<div align="center"> Proud wife to Steve and mom to Adrian </div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"> Jesci's Myspace </div>
Reply With Quote
  #2  
August 16th, 2004, 02:10 AM
Silver's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,205
huh...I don't think you're overreacting at all...

I lived in a "boarding house" for a while myself...It wasn't classified as a boarding house...Just a little apt with 6 bedrooms, a shared kitchen and bathroom. And there were alot of strange people there...Almost all did drugs...A few times there were parties thrown and the police showed up...and I only lived there with my BF at the time for 6 months or so...We mostly kept to ourselves.

I think asking your son questions is good...What made him cry though? Did you have a particular tone in your voice or did he feel you were attacking his dad? I don't know but I think you're totally in the right for being concerned over this situation.

I didn't live in a big city either...A little university town.
__________________





If you check out My Webpage You'll see some pics of us.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
August 16th, 2004, 09:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 3,469
Send a message via Yahoo to pinkpercolator
I'd wonder about the other roommates living there. If you don't know anything about them. I would not want my child staying there. Maybe it is all innocent. All these people are just roommates. But I would definately want to know more about them. To me it sounds like a rooming house. They all share the kitchen. But have private living area's.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
August 16th, 2004, 09:57 AM
grneydgurl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 1,541
Send a message via AIM to grneydgurl Send a message via Yahoo to grneydgurl
Quote:
I think asking your son questions is good...What made him cry though? Did you have a particular tone in your voice or did he feel you were attacking his dad? I don't know but I think you're totally in the right for being concerned over this situation.[/b]
No he just felt like I was making his dad sound bad. And I explained to him that I wasnt trying to do that I was just asking to protect him. I need to know the information as well. I like to know of living conditions. I was driving home with my DH and son, so I couldnt get to excited.


And for this house....I think the owner is "renting" out rooms.....it is a basic ranch house with a finished basement. DH and I dont see how this set up could be, but my basic concern is the well being and safety for my child.
__________________
<div align="center"> </div>
<div align="center"> Proud wife to Steve and mom to Adrian </div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"> Jesci's Myspace </div>
Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 16th, 2004, 10:05 AM
I Heart 4x4
Guest
Posts: n/a
I don't think you're overreacting at all. You don't know these guys from common drug dealers and thugs on the streets. I would personally go to court to ask that your ex's custody be revoked until he can find proper living arrangements. A 10 year old should not share a bed with a grown man - father or not. It is inappropriate, IMHO - can we say "Michael Jackson"? (Not implying your ex is perverted like that, I'm just saying its inappropriate).
Reply With Quote
  #6  
August 16th, 2004, 10:10 AM
zonapellucida
Guest
Posts: n/a
I think situation would bother me. . . . .what can you do about it?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
August 16th, 2004, 04:35 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 875
I think a mom's "radar" is more accurate than any technology we have in existance- TRUST THOSE INSTINCTS!!!!

You and the ex need to have a serious talk about this situation, because it's likely not safe for your son.
__________________
<p align="center">
<span style="color:green">Proud Mom To Kaili and Josalin!
Proud Navy wife to Erik!</span>
Reply With Quote
  #8  
August 16th, 2004, 05:03 PM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,057
I think you need to talk to your ex. No matter how good a parent he is, he can't watch your son every moment. He needs to know just who those guys are. I'm not sure that putting your son on the spot is the best solution.

In the meantime, can't you contact the police station and see whether or not there are any registered sex offenders in the neighborhood?? I know it's nowhere close to a guarentee, but if the answer was "yes" and you hadn't checked, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself.
__________________
ALICE
WIFE TO PETER
MOM TO BRIAN (6-18-98)
JULIA (2-17-00)
KIRA (2-04-03)
<a href="http://siggiez.com/countdownz/ch/index2.cgi">
Reply With Quote
  #9  
August 16th, 2004, 05:24 PM
Goodnu2003's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Manchester N.H.
Posts: 1,352
I agree with the ladies Jesci...You should go to Matt and find out whats going on...I personally feel that Matt should be asked the questions not Adrian....You know what I mean!! Adrian only goes every other weekend...I would find out more information before I would even let him go back again...IMHO
__________________
<span style="font-family:Times">Rose</span>

Reply With Quote
  #10  
August 16th, 2004, 06:01 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
I don't think you are overreacting at all!! I would be completely livid to find out my kids were at a place like that no matter the age! I would be having a LONG serious talk with your EXDH and I would even go so far as going against the visitation order until I knew that my kid was going to be safe. Who knows what in the world those men upstairs are capable of, what their past holds. They could be drug users/dealers, thieves, mass murderers, baby rapers, or just plain old joes down on thier luck. I don't mean to freak you out about who these guys could be, but I think you need to be very cautious. Hang in there and let us know what happens!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
August 16th, 2004, 06:13 PM
SpideyMom
Guest
Posts: n/a
I don't think you are over reacting in the least. Although I'm not sure that there's much you can do about except pray (and talk to your ex) that your ex keeps a good eye on what's going on around there. HUGS!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:40 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0