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Why is it that I have to.....


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  #1  
May 20th, 2009, 04:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: cny
Posts: 3,230
I'm gonna try and make this short & sweet... i don't know if this is really a vent.. or just get it off my chest so i can move on quickly.....

I have to first bring you back aliile to last yr...Me & my hubby planed on getting married 20 sept 08....BUT my mom who had bone & liver cancer took a turn for the worse so we got licence,, a JP & got marride 1 1/2 days before she passed.... WE STILL THEN went ahead with the sept wedding so that everyone could be involved ( family & friends...)

I had been BATTLING with 2 of the girls that were in the wedding party... everytime i would set up a meeting to get together they would back out saying " they didn't have a baby sitter " but then see that they were able to go out & get drunk that very same night,,,

The day we picked out my wedding dress we were all coming back here to have a BBQ They said they had to pick up there hubby's and would be right behind us ,,, but never showed

Our last straw came when i sent out an email saying we were all meeting the day before the wedding for the rehursal ( this was about a month notice ) & i said " be there no if and's or butts.. ( that's what my hubby told me to say " So next thing i know both girls backed out.. They one girl is the "leader" of the other girl ( WHO was also gonna be the one to take my wedding pictures )

Also when my mom passed The one girl... "leader" never came to the funeral, did send a message on myspace saying sorry,,, Her hubby came out for a couple minutes to see how we were doing,,, & the other girl did come for the funural....

ANYWAY: Fast forward to today we have now spoken a couple times but other than that nothing ( Leader ) For mother's day she text's HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to me & i'm thinking *** ,,, this is my first mother's day with out my mother ,,, she forgot BUT being a nice person i texted back & say " you to" END OF STORY.....

NOW: Pages have turned... on 11 may her Father passes from a sudden heart attack.... We goto the funural... NOW they are having a benifit for him & my hubby wants to goto it.... When i already told her he has his daughter this weekend & my not be able to go....
So i said to him that *** SHE DID S**T for us when my mother passed & I still owe approx 2,000 for her headstone BUT WE HAVE TO GOTO THE FUNUAL & THE BENNIFIT??????
HE SAYS TO ME quote: SHE IS FAMILY YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO I'LL GO YOU SHOULD LET THE PASSED REST & LET BYGONS BE BYGONES.....so what he's basically saying to me is F*** U & that he could give 2 S** about what i think or feel.....

What do you ladies think????? Should i JUST LET THIS GO???? & goto the benifit???? Or stand MY ground & stay home & fume???
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  #2  
May 20th, 2009, 01:25 PM
TheHusband's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Clarksville, TN
Posts: 133
I'd go. Because I'm that kind of person.

I'd make a point of going up to her and passing on my condolences, and that it was so hard to make time to come, but some things really do take priority, and that you did have a wonderful evening planned.

Then when I'd finished rubbing her nose in it, I'd make sure that you also pointed out that with the cost of the headstone, and with so many things going on that you didn't think you'd be able to contribute to the benefit, then I'd wander off.

Passive-aggressive is the *best* kind of aggressive. When you can leave someone wondering if you just kicked their *** or not, you've won the fight.
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  #3  
May 20th, 2009, 02:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: cny
Posts: 3,230
Thank you so much for your response....idk maybe your right... & even after the funural i brought mom up & told her how ruff these next couple months are going to be & who knows... maybe it was my fault that i didn't have a benifit for her.... i just honestly didn't plan on getting prego & being taken out of work so quick ....
idk i have the next couple days to think about it.... Mostly will depend also on my dr appt tmo... BUT i do thank you for calming me down some... it was helpful info that will come in handy
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