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i don't know if some of you know,,, my hubby's ex g/f bio mom to his daughter,, this summer moved 2 doors down from us,,, BUT altleast she is on the same side of the street so she can't see our apt,,
WELL she has CONVENTlY made friends with people accross the road from us
Since memoral day,, ( she agreed she can't take care of the daughter so we have her & they are going back to court to get it finallized soon ) ONCE she get's the court papers about child support tho,, i BET she will automatically be CURED of what ever problems she has you know,,, she has never worked ,, lives off the system pill addictic,, bla bla the list goes on,,, so once the child support stop... we know what will happen, ) ANYWAY she now sits across the street watching the house,,, one day after 2 weeks of not seeing her kid ,, the kid sees her NOW she's upset & wants her mommy,,,, All weekend she has sat outside ( this is the 1st weekend she's had in almost a month ) & stares at the house & tells sydney ( YELLS OUT TELL DADDY HIGH WAVE AT DADDY.... ) THEN HAS THE GALL ENOUGH when we were leaving ( YELLS OUT IS SHE HAVING THE BABY ) what the **** do you care??? where we are going...
UGGGG the only one she is hurting is my hubby,, dangling the kid * haha you can see but you can't have * basically.....
Sorry i had to get it out,,, i'm sure it's PURE JELOUSY that's going on here....WE so can't wait to get the house build & move FAR FAR AWAY,, & where we are moving there is no apt's to rent so she can't follow us this time.... hopefully by july WE ARE OUT OF HERE if not sooner!!!!
I really have no advice for you, but to give you big hugs.
Try and not let her see that it gets a rise out of either of you. She sees that it bugs her and she wins. If she sees that it doesn't phase you, maybe she'll give up.
Amelia: Wife to Ryan, Mama to Harleigh, with a boy on the way
Thank you!!! I know & unfortuanly it's only got worse... & she's already been worned now face to face by my husband....
She has gotten to the point where when she does call , if he don't answer the phone b/c he's buzy or what not,, she will come over here & start ponding on the door...
Well 2 weeks ago she came on the yard to yell at my husband for not picking up the phone & he told her right there that the next time she sats food on the yard the police will be called...
There is a difference if she were picking up/dropping off the child.. BUT don't come in our yard just to yell at my husband....
She then pulled the crap of calling & b/c he was in the shower & didn't answer the phone she came over & started pounding on the door...I should have called the cops.. but i knew they wouldn't get here on time to catch her....
We tho now have SOOO MUCH against her that all we are trying to do is get threw the next 3 weeks for the 3 court dates and BOOM.... Her head is gonna spin
I know... i'm still trying not to let her get to me thats why i feel so blessed to be able to talk to you ladies and help you also when you need it....
Thank you for the hugs & thoughts & GL with your testing i do hope everything goes well for you!!!
Whatever you do, don't let emotions do the talking in court, it doesn't get you anywhere unfortunately. The courts want facts and information to back up those facts - nothing more.
Keep a detailed journal about the issues, and also make sure that any court order in place is detailed INCLUDING requesting in the court order for custody to allow police intervention. Without that in a court order, the police are wary of intervening in matters that involve children - shocking but very common.
Also, make sure that the order covers mobility issues - this is the one that could hang up your lives in court in regards to moving. The mother could very well put a stop to many future plans if they involve moving too far of a distance from the other parent who has visitation. Even useless undeserving parents have rights when it comes to their children. If you don't deal with mobility right away, your plans for a home 'far away' could quickly go down the drain, sorry to say.
I'm not saying it will certainly happen to you, but since you already have the matter in the courts, it's best if you cover them now.
The type of custody will also determine her 'rights' as a parent. There are 3 (basically) most common 'types' of custody:
Shared custody - gives both parents equal rights and equal time with the child (50/50), they take the amount of money both parents make, determine what the payable support would be by each parent and one parent may still very well pay the other support (for example if your husband would pay her $300 a month support based on his income, and she would have to pay $100 to him based on her income - you husband is still responsible for $200 a month to her)
Joint custody - this is something like shared, but it means that one parent has the child less than 40% of the time, child support would be payable by the parent that has the child less than 40% of the time and both parents have a say in decisions for the child(ren) in regards to school, health, religious etc.
Sole custody - this of course is as it's stated, one parent has full custody of the child(ren), the other parent is responsible for paying child support, and the parent with custody makes all the decisions in regards to school, health, religious etc. The parent that does not have custody can of course request information in regards to these things from the school or doctor directly, but they would have to have a release form from the parent with custody. As I said, this is where you should also cover the mobility issue. If the non-custodial parent has visitation, they could very well take the matter back to court in regards to your moving away as it would either cut-off their court ordered access, or make it difficult or too expensive to exercise their visitation. You need to have a game plan in place beforehand such as what you are willing to do to ensure that the visitation is still possible whether that be by covering the costs of the visits, or some sort of summer schedule where she gets the child for a period of time - things such as that.
The court will (in most cases) do what is best for the child(ren) and not for the adults.
What day is your court date? I think I would go ahead and call the police anyway when she comes pounding on the door anyway just to have a record of it. They may not catch her there, but at least there is a record. If you have any witnesses to any of it, have them write you up statements and then have them notarized as well. Make sure that the people write on there contact information so if the court wants to call and verify or get more info, they have a way to do so. Good Luck!!
High ladies,, Sorry i've been MIA with Trisha being 4 weeks old tmo.. & all
Well a couple things have happen ( this is ny for you )
For one he saw the law gaurden requesting he get sole custody w/ suppervised visitation.. He finally was able to give her that paper work yesterday...She has to look at it & if she agrees they have to get it noterized & send it in & no more court date.....
They already had a court date for child support ( SHE NEVER SHOWED UP FOR ) & even tho it says YOU ARE SUMMONED FOR COURT right on the paper work & that you must show up BLA BLA... He still has to hand deliver it & IF she don't show for that court date THEN she can be arressted ***!!! told you she gets away with MURDER!!!!
Anyway he has now allowed 2 night's of visitation with her.. She calles every 2 weeks wanting her for 1 over night .... What a piece huh!!!!
OH & HERE IS THE KICKER
Like i said she calls every 2 weeks just to see her for less than 24 hrs... DOESN'T CALL AT ALL TO TALK TO HER ON THE PHONE but CAN CALL CHILD SUPPORT & HAVE HIS BANK ACCOUNT FROZEN FOR BACK CHILD SUPPORT & HAD THE DAUGHTERS ACCOUNT ALSO FROZEN !!!!!!!!
When he went to court he told them he hasn't paid b/c the child has been here not there... BUT they can't unfreeze the account UNTILL SHE SHOWS UP IN COURT & amits to them that the child has been with us not her!!!!
THIS IS SO GONNA BLOW UP IN HIS FACE i can see it!!!!!
I feel so sorry for him b/c he is one of the good guys & so few of men TAKE CARE of there kids you know....
i can't remember the next court dates off the top of my head BUT i will keep you ladies posted...
Thank you again for your coments & concerns on this...!!!!
He let her take the child sunday ( when he gave her the paperwork. ) She said she wanted her for 2 nights.... He called her yesterday (monday ) & Said he;'d be picking up the child tmo ( Teusday ) ... She is now saying he can't have her back & There is nothing we can do about it right now.. since they haven't gone to court & she still has custody...
BUT She still doesn't have a place to live & is bouncing between people's houses.. so i don't know what's gonna happen...
Kraz, unfortunately, in the US, everything usually always defaults to the mother. In my county in I think it was 2004, a third of cases where both parents wanted the father to have custody, the courts here still forced custody on the mother. What's best for the child (usually 50/50) is supposed to be law, but in practice, the Tender Years Doctrine still is tightly held.
As you can see, this woman's refusal to show up in court can have this father's bank account frozen, even though she's made it clear to the court she has no interest in custody. She doesn't want the child, so loses nothing by not going to court, but this father loses access to his money.