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  #1  
March 5th, 2006, 01:18 PM
kel_86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm not sure if i have the right to be upset/mad or not.

My DH has been talking about going to Grand Prairie to catch us up on bills/money. He even talked ab out it while i was still pregnant. He's a drywaller and hed gets more up there for every house. As much as i want to catch up on bills i don't want him to go. he wants to go up there for a month. Our daughter is going to be turning 2 months on tuesday and i feel hes going to be missing out on alot. she knows who her father is and when she sees him go to bed she just stares at our door. I'm just wondering if any of you have been in a similar situation and if you have any comments/suggestions???
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  #2  
March 5th, 2006, 08:20 PM
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Would it be possible for you three to move up there? That way you could be together.
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  #3  
March 5th, 2006, 09:14 PM
kel_86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Would it be possible for you three to move up there? That way you could be together.[/b]

He has talked about moving up there, but i'm a really family person and my family is ony an hour away from us here. Grand praire is a 12 hr drive. I also live with my twin sister and i can't leave her. The ppl he works for have a house up there that he can stay in while working so he doesn't have to pay for accomidations. So unless we actually move theres not a way that i can go down there....
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  #4  
March 20th, 2006, 04:05 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
I'm not sure if i have the right to be upset/mad or not.

My DH has been talking about going to Grand Prairie to catch us up on bills/money. He even talked ab out it while i was still pregnant. He's a drywaller and hed gets more up there for every house. As much as i want to catch up on bills i don't want him to go. he wants to go up there for a month. Our daughter is going to be turning 2 months on tuesday and i feel hes going to be missing out on alot. she knows who her father is and when she sees him go to bed she just stares at our door. I'm just wondering if any of you have been in a similar situation and if you have any comments/suggestions???[/b]
You sound like an Alberta girl alright... I've had that with my father and my DH had that with his... My dad said the most crushing thing was for his own baby not to know him when he would come home after a long time away. We discussed about DH staying in the field for the same reasons... My mom and his mom also felt like one-parent families...

If you have kids, you have to have their priorities first.. which I know you both do. I hope you guys have worked out something but I know it's so hard even with the "Aberta Advantage."



Have you two come up with different ideas?
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  #5  
March 21st, 2006, 09:33 AM
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My brother is a drywall contractor and working out of state is the nature of the business. He spends a lot of time away from home. We (myself, my mom and sister) live here in NC and my brother and his family lives in FL and more times than not my brother is up here working weeks at the time. I know it's hard, especially with a new baby, but you have to look at the whole picture. It's 30 days and in that time he will be earning more money for your family - to help raise the baby, put food on the table, roof over your head and pay the nessecary bills. I am a military wife, I've dealt with lenghtly deployments... so trust me 30 days will pass quickly. Start a new hobby while he's away - take up scrapbooking. You can do this for your DH while he's away so that he can see in pictures her growth and it would be a precious keepsake for later on. I know it's tough but him going out of town or out of state to work isn't the end of the world. If you have family or friends close by, get them to help you out. It's stressful being a new mom and not having the help you're used to having. Hang in there, it'll get better. This is just one of the many bumps on life's road.
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  #6  
April 7th, 2006, 03:27 PM
kel_86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
I'm not sure if i have the right to be upset/mad or not.

My DH has been talking about going to Grand Prairie to catch us up on bills/money. He even talked ab out it while i was still pregnant. He's a drywaller and hed gets more up there for every house. As much as i want to catch up on bills i don't want him to go. he wants to go up there for a month. Our daughter is going to be turning 2 months on tuesday and i feel hes going to be missing out on alot. she knows who her father is and when she sees him go to bed she just stares at our door. I'm just wondering if any of you have been in a similar situation and if you have any comments/suggestions???[/b]
You sound like an Alberta girl alright... I've had that with my father and my DH had that with his... My dad said the most crushing thing was for his own baby not to know him when he would come home after a long time away. We discussed about DH staying in the field for the same reasons... My mom and his mom also felt like one-parent families...

If you have kids, you have to have their priorities first.. which I know you both do. I hope you guys have worked out something but I know it's so hard even with the "Aberta Advantage."



Have you two come up with different ideas?
[/b]

We haven't talked about it alot, but just every know and then when his boss asks him to go up there. he's been really busy these days with work that yesterday he realized how much he is missing out on. she's found her voice and is just "talking" up a storm and it just made him so awed at the fact how big shes getting

Quote:
My brother is a drywall contractor and working out of state is the nature of the business. He spends a lot of time away from home. We (myself, my mom and sister) live here in NC and my brother and his family lives in FL and more times than not my brother is up here working weeks at the time. I know it's hard, especially with a new baby, but you have to look at the whole picture. It's 30 days and in that time he will be earning more money for your family - to help raise the baby, put food on the table, roof over your head and pay the nessecary bills. I am a military wife, I've dealt with lenghtly deployments... so trust me 30 days will pass quickly. Start a new hobby while he's away - take up scrapbooking. You can do this for your DH while he's away so that he can see in pictures her growth and it would be a precious keepsake for later on. I know it's tough but him going out of town or out of state to work isn't the end of the world. If you have family or friends close by, get them to help you out. It's stressful being a new mom and not having the help you're used to having. Hang in there, it'll get better. This is just one of the many bumps on life's road.[/b]

Thank you so much for the advice...i took what you said into consideration. i know he would be leaving for good reasons and not bad and that it isn't that long. i would probably just get used to it. he hasn't left yet and he's been talking about it less and less. but if he does go i'm prepared now. thank you.
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  #7  
April 10th, 2006, 02:32 PM
mrobinson
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It's so hard, eh? The family needs money.. so DH has to go. I know you're both doing the best for everyone.. Like DH and I both understood, our fathers loved us so much they were willing to go to give us what we had... It was their sacrifice to us. I know you're daughter will feel the same too.



Thanks for the update.
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  #8  
April 14th, 2006, 05:06 AM
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Would it be possible for you three to move up there? That way you could be together.
[/quote]


He has talked about moving up there, but i'm a really family person and my family is ony an hour away from us here. Grand praire is a 12 hr drive. I also live with my twin sister and i can't leave her. The ppl he works for have a house up there that he can stay in while working so he doesn't have to pay for accomidations. So unless we actually move theres not a way that i can go down there....
[/quote]

hey i hope this won't be taken the wrong way, as i can totally understand how upset you would be and 12hrs is a LONG way away. however, you say you live with your twin sister and can't leave her... yet if your dh goes 12hrs away you will essentially be living without HIM? tough situation though and i hope it works out for you.
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  #9  
April 14th, 2006, 12:11 PM
kel_86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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What i meant by is i can't leave my sister is i can't leave my family. i've always been really grounded and don't like change to often, as in it took a lot for me to move out of my hometown that i lived in for 18 years. also, grande prairie is not a place where i would want my daughter to grow up. as far as me living without him...he is only going there for maybe a month. he is not moving up there. we have just talked about it and we both decided it is not a place where we want to be right now and were settled where we are. the only thing that is very appealing is that he does get payed more up there. but it is so much more expensive to live. never would i choose my family over my husband and i would respect any decision he made.

i'm not trying to sound defensive, but it is a little bit complicated. me and my twin are very close.luckily, we are catching up on bills just with where we are now. so it looks like he doesn't have to go up there.
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  #10  
April 16th, 2006, 05:29 AM
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A happy ending to the story then! And i completely understand if he was just going for a month, that you woudln't want to uproot your daughter and then bring her home and that it would have just been a long, hard month for you both! Anyway glad the bills are being caught up on and it's all worked out!
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  #11  
April 19th, 2006, 04:12 PM
mrobinson
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Cheers!
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