[cln1812]

I am still in shock. DH came home today and announced his company has laid off most of the employees. (He works for a startup company and I guess they just haven't been performing satisfactorily enough to attract investors.) We had absolutely NO idea it was coming. DH seemed as shocked as I am. I just don't know what we're going to do now, we've got a mortgage on a house, bills to pay and while we've got some money saved up, it won't last but a month or 2. I know we have family willing to help us out (we may possibly have to move in with my ILs in CA). I get along with my ILs OK, but it won't be my house, I'll feel out of place, plus So. Cal. is not my most favorite place in the world, I hate the crowds, the traffic, am terrified of driving there.

Why does this keep happening to us? DH was laid off from his previous job just over a year ago when NASA cut funding to his program, and about a year and half before that when JSC underwent more budget cuts. Again and again and again. For most of the jobs he applies to, he is overqualified or underqualified. (He is a Ph.D. chemist but is often underqualified without previous experience in whatever given fiedl the new job is.)

Now back to the job searching for DH, which was so so hard on me because I would have to prompt him to it at times, he would start giving up hope.

I feel like in a way this is my fault, if I were working and not a SAHM, we would have some income, but I haven't been in contact with people in my field since grad school and I do feel on some level all the tons of medication I was put on in college (for depression & my eating disorder) has done things to me and the way I function (I can't even explain it really) so that I'm just not the same as I used to be when I first started college--I'm not creative like I used to be (and that was a big part of who I was) and my memory is the pits (but of course part of that is par for the course being a mom). I feel guilty for not working but I go through phases (with anxiety & panic attacks especially) and have low self confidence and self esteem and doubt they would even want me in the field I trained in or if I could handle a career in science research now even (being that I don't think the way I used to).

I know lots of people have it worse than us and don't even have family to turn to for help but I just need to have a pity party. I'm trying to be strong for DD but it is difficult.

I am so anxious and panicky, I don't know how I'll sleep tonight. I hate this :-(

[mom2anna]

I'm so sorry to hear your DH was laid off. We went through some of our own financial struggles over the last year and I can relate to the anxiety of it all. I lost alot of sleep and was very depressed, I can feel your pain. Stressing over loosing your home and the security for your children is very stressful.

I do know though that things have a way of working themselves out, it's a meant to be sorta thing. Just have to ride it out and when an opportunity arises, you really need to think about considering it and not just ignoring it because it doesn't seem like something you want at that moment. When I first read that your ILs have said they would support you and you could possibly move out to So. Cal AND you mentioned your DH worked for NASA, the first thing that came to mind was that there are alot of areospace and gov't contracting jobs out here. And these are very secure careers (well you probably thought NASA was too though right?). Has your DH tried looking for jobs out in So. Cal. just to see what's out here? How about places like Virginia, again a very dense military/aerospace industry? I'm not sure exactly what your DH does, but I know California has alot to offer in some areas. Anyways, just think about it for a while. As they say, in this economy, sometimes finding the jobs means you have to actually pick yourself up and move to where the jobs are. You never know, a change of place and pace may really help open up some doors.

I wish you all the best! Hang in there and don't beat yourself up. I can imagine from what you metioned about your health and affects from your medications, that you feel you are unable to hit the work force. You could always try a part time coffee shop to get a feel for being out in the public and see how your confidence builds. YOu can do anything, you can learn anything. You might just find you like it. It doesn't have to be rocket science or research that you jump into after so many years out of the job market. Start small and build up that confidence. Then you'll feel like you can do anything!! Doesn't hurt to try, just to help a bit for the income and places like starbucks does offer health insurance.

Take care!

[in_mommy]

(((HUGS))) I would be feeling the same way if I were in your shoes!! What about a teaching job at a college or university in chemistry? I hope something works out for you so you don't have to move in with your IL's!! Good Luck!

[Asher_Baby]

same here.. BF lost his job a week after the baby was born, I had to quit mine because they wouldn't give me maternity leave. Great company right? They also gave my promotion to someone else when they found out I was preggo. Jerks. So we are both looking and starting from scratch. I MAY have just got a part time $8 HR job which isn't much but something.. LO is 2 months now. We may not be able to pay rent next month.. Keep your head up. I know I'm trying to..

[Keakie]

I don't have any advice but lots of prayers for you and for your family. Dh was laid off in December of last year and it was a pretty scary time (and it was the second time he'd be laid off too - both times IT companies making very poor cost saving decisions). If it helps, he found another job a lot sooner than expected (I believe he started in February of this year). It's lower pay than what he was in before, but it's a job and that's something to be thankful for these days.