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Can parents mentally hurt you


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  #1  
April 5th, 2006, 06:06 PM
Lekilig86's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC (until April 11th)
Posts: 776
I am upset and stressed, my parents have a way with my mind....its scary. They don't call for a week or two, and then all the sudden 10 mins apart both mom and dad call....asking questions..which i don't mind..and urging me to stay around this area another month (finish my college sophomore semester). Its getting harder and i'm leaving but i haven't told them yet. I can't stand this place anymore, its getting harder to function.... and there's too many inconveinences while being pregnant to live here on a college campus. I'm crazy for doing this but i feel its best and will put stress off of me...
My parents make things mentally stressful, i'll feel completely fine about a decision and then they put this pressure for me to do what they want and it makes me want to EXPLODE!! I feel like a huge f*** up around them if i don't do what they say is best or right or something...sometimes i think im gonna end up doing something i will regret later but i can't, not right now... ahhhhh
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  #2  
April 5th, 2006, 06:28 PM
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My parents have always been able to get to me too. I mean I hated life for awhile while I was a teenager, cuz my parents were always on my butt for something. I was never good enough.

Now they are telling me what to do to make my marriage work, and that I have to listen to my DH cuz he knows what is best for me. I always seem to listen and let them just control my whole life though. Someday I'll get the courage to be my own boss, and I hope that it's soon.

Just ignore them and do what feels right for you. I know that I have to too, and I'm scared of having everyone against me. Maybe you being strong will get me to be stronger towards my own parents. Good luck!!!
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  #3  
April 5th, 2006, 06:49 PM
Lekilig86's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC (until April 11th)
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Quote:
My parents have always been able to get to me too. I mean I hated life for awhile while I was a teenager, cuz my parents were always on my butt for something. I was never good enough.

Now they are telling me what to do to make my marriage work, and that I have to listen to my DH cuz he knows what is best for me. I always seem to listen and let them just control my whole life though. Someday I'll get the courage to be my own boss, and I hope that it's soon.

Just ignore them and do what feels right for you. I know that I have to too, and I'm scared of having everyone against me. Maybe you being strong will get me to be stronger towards my own parents. Good luck!!! [/b]
They would tell me to just get divorced...they hate b/f and he's wanting to tie the knot with little one on the way, and i have to tell him, no, because my "parents don't like him"...well don't "have" to but i will wait until they will agree to come to the wedding..its driving me nuts.
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  #4  
April 6th, 2006, 06:27 AM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
My parents make things mentally stressful, i'll feel completely fine about a decision and then they put this pressure for me to do what they want and it makes me want to EXPLODE!! I feel like a huge f*** up around them if i don't do what they say is best or right or something...sometimes i think im gonna end up doing something i will regret later but i can't, not right now... ahhhhh[/b]
say to them "look - i know you may not agree w/ my life decisions adn the way my life is going, but i am an adult and i know what i want and what i need right now. you make me feel horrible about myself and i don't appreciate it."

my DF's parents are horrible and they were so mean to him (well, still are even though he's 30) and he's still so hurt by them all the time. he's getting better though b/c he finally realized how old he is and that it doesn't matter what they think!

try and be happy and secure in your decisions and in making yourself happy . . .
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  #5  
April 6th, 2006, 07:23 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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what the other ladies have already said. You are an adult now and they need to realize that and accept the decisions that you have made for yourself. They do not have to like the decisions or even think they are good choices, it doesnt matter. It is hard to not let them get to you, mine do the same thing to me. I have finally learned that they can offer their opinion on what they would do or whatever and I will count it as that, an opinion but the ultimate choice is up to me. I think too that they have finally learned that despite what they think or want, I am going to do what I want to do anyway. If you love your BF, then why not go ahead and get married, it is your choice. If they dont want to come, then that is their choice and they will be missing out on a wonderful special day in your life. None of my DH's parents or any of his family was present at our wedding because they didnt like me and they were mad at him for other reasons too. Sure he was hurt by that, but that was their choice not to come and we will be having our 10 year anniv. this year.
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  #6  
April 6th, 2006, 09:05 AM
mrobinson
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  #7  
April 6th, 2006, 09:26 PM
Stacia
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Hopefully you'll parents will come around. Mine we always very controlling and I went out of state for Uni, was still to close, went to Alaska, that was still too close so I moved to the other side of the world. It took me living 10,000 miles away from home to finally start building a relationshp with my mom and dad.

I think it is just one of those things that takes time. Eventually they will start to see you as an adult. You need to be confident with yourself and your decisions. Don't let them make you feel as if you are still a child.
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  #8  
April 6th, 2006, 10:41 PM
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Hey. I say that you two should just get married if you want to. Ignore your parents cuz they aren't the ones who are in love.......you and your fiance are. Good luck!
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  #9  
April 7th, 2006, 08:40 AM
Lekilig86's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Charlotte, NC (until April 11th)
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Thanks for the advice everyone, i really appreciate it!
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