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  #1  
August 23rd, 2004, 06:34 PM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1
Hi,

I was pregnant, about 6 month, the whole time the father of the baby saying he was not the father, also, him verbally abusing me pretty bad. I did leave him, have wonderful people in my life. The day before the my son was born, "donor"(I like to call him that) said how he went thru it all with me, if not with me, but in spirit. and showed up at the hospital trying to take over. When I got out, he was calling, then one day he asked me to still help him with his rent, I said not, and the next thing I know, he is to busy to see me and my son. (Which I don't mind him not seeing me) Then, yesteday, he threatened to take my son away from me, saying I was unfit. I work full time in a great job as a supervisor, tkae care of my son, cook, clean, and am moving on my own next month. Right now I am lviing with my parents so they are helping me save money.

Is there a way to get my ex's name off the birth certificate, and give my son my last name? is it a long process, or is it quick? And advice is welcome. I wanted my son to have his "fathers" last name, but now I am not so sure, and I think if he wants to know his dad, I will never take that away from him, but right now, while he is little, I want to make sure he is safe.

I hope I didn't drag this on, I actually told the very short story.
Thank you so much for listening!

Tammi
A desperate mom
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  #2  
August 24th, 2004, 05:14 AM
Carol
Guest
Posts: n/a
Don't quote me on this because different states may have different laws. In Ohio, you can petition to have your son's name changed. You have to fill out a form at the court house and run an advertisement in the local newspaper stating your intention (local for where the father is). It's an inexpensive process...under 100 bucks, including advertising costs, if you fill the form out yourself.

As far as changing the birth certificate. What would the reason be for removing his name? Because he doesn't play the part of the father? Sadly, this happens way too often. But he is still the father, and even if he doesn't want to see his child, he can still be held responsible for part of the support of that child. I'd take him to court and insure that he pays his "fair share" in child support. Your son deserves that much. Personally, I don't think a state would allow his name to be removed unless he was proven NOT to be the father. Again, I could be mistaken on this.

If you have documented proof of his abuse to you, i.e. police reports, witnesses, etc., it will be mighty hard for him to take custody of your son. Everybody has a horror story of how the mom lost her kids unfairly, but these are not the majority of cases. In Ohio, a court can not take custody from the mother just because the father is more fit (financially stable, gainfully employed, living independently), but rather because she is UNFIT. Good luck to you!! If you have any questions, feel free to pm or email me. I have a significant amount of up to date legal reference books, including family law and US codes.
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  #3  
August 24th, 2004, 04:40 PM
I Heart 4x4
Guest
Posts: n/a
Contact a lawyer, contact the district attorney, start getting court ordered child support. If he doesn't do anything for a year (no payment, no gifts, no contact), you can file for legal abandonment and he will lose parental rights and you can then change your sons name and have the father removed from the birth certificate. I think, but I am not 100% positive.

Good luck to you!!
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  #4  
August 24th, 2004, 04:48 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,872
I think you should contact an attorney to find out what your options are. I know that you can have the name changed, but I don't know anything more than that.
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