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  #1  
April 19th, 2006, 05:00 AM
*Cassie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
Posts: 18,780
I've never been in here before, but I really need some help. I found this email of my BF's. I was on MSN and it popped up saying I had a new message, so I clicked the thing and it asked if I wanted to remain signed in. I said yes, but it was signed in under my BF I guess. I saw an email from a girl titled "Re: pics". Here is what I found... read from the bottom up...I took out the emails and names

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ty, ur welcome ok send some soon.. shelley


From:
To:
Subject: RE: pics
Date: Mon, 17 Apr 2006 23:13:17 +0000

Thanks for the pics!

You have a great body! You look hot as hell on camera!
Love the skimpy stuff, would love to see nudes too!
Lol wish i could get my gf to take pictures, we could have a lot of fun!

Ill try and take some pics for you, of me and my girlfriend (she likes that stuff too) Everyone has got a voyeur in them i guess hehe.
But she's pregnant right now haha so might be a little self conscious, but she has a gorgeous body.. But we've done couple trading pics before and she seems to really get off on it haha


talk to you later beautiful
Dale

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Also, let me say that we have never taken pictures or traded with other couples, so there he's lying.

Anyways... I have no idea what to do... I mean, because I read this in his email can I really approach him? What do I do? Please help... I feel just sick...
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  #2  
April 19th, 2006, 05:22 AM
koakoba's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,063
I'd beat him. Sorry - JMO. I'd be honest about how you found out, then demand answers! I know he'd be mad you looked at his email - but he can't hide from what he's doing regardless of that.
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  #3  
April 19th, 2006, 11:18 AM
mmsmom_25's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 162
I'd have to agree wil Koakobo. I'd probably beat him too! It doesn't sound to me like you were purposely on his mn account, and the message popped up, so I would explain that to him and then he has one hell of alot of explaining to do to you. I think that you should confront him sooner rather than later, good luck!
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  #4  
April 19th, 2006, 11:42 AM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 2,053
First let me give this was the last thing you needed to see ESPECIALLY while you're expecting.

Secondly, I am not sure how this should be handled. I know that when I was caught red handed cheating (several years ago) my hubby printed out the emails. When it's in black & white it's really hard to deny. Is he going to be pissed? Probably, because you've caught him doing something he shouldn't have been doing. If you have a really good mutual friend that you can trust I would call them up and let them know what's going on and have them come over to kind of mediate the situation.

What your BF has done is considered emotional cheating. Rather than sitting you down and expressing his interest in this "voyeurism" and wanting to trade pictures with other couples - he talked to another woman about his interests. IMHO, I think it's hogwash. I think he's just generally horny and wanted to look at some naked boobies. Men can be pigs but it doesn't mean that they can't behave either.

Boundaries have deffiently been crossed. The whole email he sent was childish.

Example:
Quote:
But she's pregnant right now haha so might be a little self conscious, but she has a gorgeous body.. But we've done couple trading pics before and she seems to really get off on it haha[/b]
Who in the hell thinks being self conscious of their body while they're pregnant is funny?? Secondly, I'd be worried that he's done this before w/out your knowledge.

Also:
Quote:
Ill try and take some pics for you, of me and my girlfriend (she likes that stuff too)[/b]
IMHO he shouldn't have been promising nude pictures to a complete stranger of his pregnant GF or himself - PERIOD!

He has crossed the line and you're going to have to confront him about it, and I sure wish that I could advise you on how. It's a sticky situation for sure. I wish you all the best of luck and please let us know what happens. I'll be thinking about you!!

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  #5  
April 19th, 2006, 03:07 PM
mrobinson
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OH Cassie!!!


When you talk to him, we'll be here. I can't imagine how this must hurt.. I am so sorry.

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  #6  
April 19th, 2006, 11:25 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,597
I think that I'd kick his butt! I think that what he wrote and such was completely out of the boundaries that we all know are there. KWIM? I would definitely freak out if my DH had done that. I hope that you can find the courage to confront him, since you saw it by accident, and he needs to know that it was wrong. Good luck!
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  #7  
April 20th, 2006, 01:07 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 1,874
You gotta talk to him...Thre is no ifs or buts about it. Sure he might be mad cause you looked at it but that does not stop the fact that he is doing something that upsets you and is WRONG!

I can't tell you how to approach it but I can say that if you do get a friend to mediate without your SO knowing he may take i that you're trying to spread it and make him look bad so I really wouldn't personally suggest that. As for printing then out could work in that it would just get past the whole bit of him trying to deny it.

Don't approach him and in a sense "attack" him cause then he will get defensive just ask him why he does it. Try and find the reason for it and then work from there.

I hope everything works out ok hun!!
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  #8  
April 20th, 2006, 09:19 PM
Stacia
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Cassie, I'm so sorry you've been caused extra stress that you just don't need.

You've got to talk to him about it. I wouldn't approach it in an attacking manor, more along the lines of this is what I've seen, this is how it made me feel. It has been my experience that staying calm and rational gives them feelings of guilt and you usually tend to get more information out of them than if you just fly off the handle.

I personally think that it is normal for people to want to look at members of the opposite (and for some same) sex but he has crossed the line communicating with someone. It raises all sorts of questions as to where did he meet her and why did he put himself in the situation to meet this person.

I know things are tough with the living situation right now and it might just be a bit of harmless fantasy play in his mind. I guess a positive is that he did actually mention he has a girlfriend even if he did lie about your involvement. A man that was looking to cheat would not be so open about the fact that he has a pregnant girlfriend.

I hope he doesn't take the defensive and gives you the answers you deserve. If you need to talk you know where to find me. I haven't been online much lately but will be tomorrow.
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  #9  
April 20th, 2006, 09:38 PM
andrewNdereksmom's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sodus, Michigan
Posts: 458
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i would go off.....i went off on my hubby once about doing that type of stuff..he stopped.....i hope things get better for you...

becky
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  #10  
April 20th, 2006, 09:38 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 725
I am so sorry!! You do not need any other stress! I agree with soph you need to talk to him
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  #11  
April 21st, 2006, 01:25 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 740
talk to you later beautiful
Dale

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even if he is just being immature trading these pics and thinking it's a harmless bit of fun, i would not be happy with the 'talk to you later beautiful' (as unhappy as i would be about the rest of it too of course).. but yeah that just starts to get to emotional cheating where he should only be saying that sort of stuff to you, you know?

ps. if you're anything like most women, you won't be able to hold it in and will have to confront him - and so you should!
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  #13  
April 30th, 2006, 08:54 PM
Natalies_Momma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: WI
Posts: 3,044
That's awful! I'd have to say, I'd beat the f*(U&( out of him. On a serious note, I would most definitely ask what the hell he's up to!
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  #14  
April 30th, 2006, 09:02 PM
AnnikasMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I'd beat him. Sorry - JMO. I'd be honest about how you found out, then demand answers! I know he'd be mad you looked at his email - but he can't hide from what he's doing regardless of that.[/b]
ITA. I would deifantly be honest and then demand answers.
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