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So my DF and I are engaged, and I am uninsured. He's in the military. He promises we'll get married soon (sooner than we had planned because I need the insurance) but he never delivers a date. He works like 70+ hours a week and is very stressed out. He's leaving the state for training in mid-June, and we're supposed to move by then and we need to be married to move where we want to go.
I told him to get his birth certif, he said he could use this military document instead. Then today I say "hey, you get off early today, let's go get the marriage license." He tells me that he has to get his birth certif and that he'll do it today.
There's more, but I'm too sad and frustrated for details right now.
So then I get an email from my mother (who is usually good) telling me how humiliated I must feel, and that I should get a job (i'm not working b/c i'm high risk and feel like crap) and move out on my own and that DF is sweet but clueless and needs to step up.
Everytime she sends me one of these emails (this is the 2nd or 3rd) I get to feeling really crappy and then I badger DF a bit more and he gets mad. Of course we saw a huge wedding party on our walk home today and I realized that @ this rate, I never get a "real" wedding. I told him this and he said that we could have a 2nd wedding in a few years since we were just going to have a quickie wedding this time. I told him that I felt like we were moving farther away from marriage instead of closer to and he made some obnoxious remark about how . . . I don't know - it was basically that if I felt that way maybe we shouldn't get married (which is his cop out for times like these).
So we got home, and I sat in the bedroom alone (he usually comes in to talk) for 20 minutes and then went out to the living room. He then went into the bedroom, changed out of work clothes and went into the other room to play video games.
I try to be patient b/c his last marriage was to an evil cheating **** (but he should have known that when he married her, another long story) and I figure he's nervous, but I'm pregnant! My last pg ended in stillbirth due to bleeding from a placental abruption! If something goes wrong before we get married, what am I supposed to do??
I'm sorry you have to go through that appifanie! He needs to understand its time to sh*t or get off the pot! I am usually not one to suggest ultimatums, but in this case I would say its necessary. Tell him to stop making you pay for the sins of his ex, that is not your fault and not your cross to bear.
I hope everything works out for you....
First, stop talking to your mom about the situation. You should not be working in the state you're in!
As far as your DF goes... it sounds to me like he's just very, very stressed out. He might want to give you the wedding of your dreams, but feels like it's not the right time yet. It takes a lot of time and money to plan a wedding, and it's stressful! If he is working 70 hours a week, and you're high-risk and pregnant, I can totally understand why he doesn't want to do it right now!
I don't know... it's just a perspective, I don't know the whole story. But have you asked him why he's balking? Maybe he has a good reason for it. Men hate to be pressured, so maybe you should give him some space and let him decide on his own...?