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I got pregnant by an idiot


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  #1  
April 22nd, 2006, 06:57 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1
I need some insight from some of you, or maybe I just need to let it all out. I got pregnant by a guy that I had only known for 1 month. I never would have thought that he'd become what he became. He had starting turning his back on me right before I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know how to tell him that I was pregnant, so, I waited until he pissed me off- didn't come home after work, went and got his cousin, and went to the bar in my car. Then, when he came home, I had a note hot glued to the front door that said "I'm Pregnant". I heard him when he grabbed the door handle, but he didn't open the door. He sat on the front porch with his cousin talking for a little while, then, they left in my car again. He stayed gone until the next morning. He didn't even have his voice anymore when he came home. He stayed up doing coke all night. I shrugged off how mad I was about him staying out with my car and just hoped things would get better. Well, they got worse and worse. Then, we went out to his mom's for a weekend, but he kept on ignoring me for 4 hours straight. I got in my car and went to my dad's for the night. The next morning I got up and went to his mom's to get him. He wouldn't wake up or get out of bed. I went home. I waited for him to call, but nothing. The next day I went back to his mom's. He said that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He said that he would be there soon as possible to get his things. Guess who brings him to pick up his things- My Brother!!!!!!!!! My brother still thinks that this guy is the coolest person in the world. Anyway, he was in such a hurry that he left a few things- his cd's and his tatoo gun. I didn't hear anything from this guy for 2 months. Then, he comes over at 5 a.m. drunk -needing a place to pass out. (No, I didn't have sex with him.) The next morning when he woke up- he was just ready to go. He didn't want to talk to me or anything. He asked for his things back, but I told him not until he talked to me about our situation. Guess what? I'm 38 and a half weeks pregnant now. He called me for the first time around 2 weeks ago. He gave me a number to call him at when I have the baby. Then, a week goes by. My mom says that he's in the hospital because he got stabbed over some girl that he's been dating. He got stabbed in the heart and lung and wrist. He was calling me from the hospital at first. At first he wanted to see me. I couldn't go because I didn't have a ride and he was in a different city. Besides, I shouldn't drop everything and run after him anyway. Then, after he started feeling better, he didn't want to see me. He started talking ##### again. He asked me today if I had his tatoo gun still. I told him that I had to sell it to pay my gas bill a few months ago. He hung up on me. I'm fixing to have this baby anytime. Should I even tell him when I go to the hospital or should I lock my doors and windows and just do the child support paper work?
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  #2  
April 22nd, 2006, 07:51 PM
MommytoZoeAlyssa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 6,006
I think you should forget about him..
I wouldnt call him. I know he is the father and all but you or your child neither one need to be around that kind of drama. Esp if he is doing drugs you dont need him in your life. I would just get the child support papers and stuff. I am sorry your in such a bad situation but i will keep you in my thoughts.
If you need to talk feel free to msg me!
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  #3  
April 22nd, 2006, 08:24 PM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 80
Forget him he's not worth it. Get the child support and stay away from him. Personally I am not sure i would want him my childs life either. But i guess that's not fair to the baby.
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  #4  
April 22nd, 2006, 09:50 PM
mrobinson
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Posts: n/a


I am sorry to hear you're going through just a hard time... I agree with the other girls and hope things get better.

When you feel like you have to go see him, take a newpaper, roll it up, put two elastic bands on each end and smack yourself in the head with it. (I'm just trying to joke around.)

Please know if you feel like you need to talk or see him, turn on your computer and email, or post here first. Have a long bath (not too hot for baby) and then come back to the computer... Call a friend, go for a walk around the block, anything but call or see him.
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  #5  
April 22nd, 2006, 11:51 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 1,874
You din't need that in your or your babies life...I say get the papers you need fill them out and then tell him NOT to contact you until he figures things out COMPLETLY! Meaning no drugs and no rocking up to your door step at 5 a.m. drunk asking for a place to stay!!

Take care of yourself!
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  #6  
April 23rd, 2006, 06:55 PM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 1,962
this is my 2nd pg. my first one was . . . by an idiot. drug dealer, pathological liar, thief . . . but i looooooooved him (what a twit i was!). so my advice comes backed with experience: don't call him to tell him - just do the paperwork and keep this man out of your life!
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  #7  
April 23rd, 2006, 06:57 PM
ca_mommie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: California
Posts: 545
wow when i first read the subject of your post i had no idea how true you were when u called him an idiot..
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  #8  
April 24th, 2006, 07:43 AM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 2,053
My advice is RUN RUN RUN as fast as possible away from this man err waste of space!!! All he has proven to be is a sperm donor. DO NOT put his name on the birth certificate. DO NOT call him when the baby is born. He wasn't there for you during your pregnancy, he certainly won't be there afterwards. I think even fighting him for child support would be useless. You and your baby deserve far better than what he's willing to offer. It will be hard on your own, but trust me - someone better than that scum bag is out there for you! Someone who will love you, care for you, and someone who will stand up and be a man! I know they exsist... my brother is one of them. He met my sister-in-law when she was 36 weeks pg. They have been together for 17 years!! He has raised her first born as his own and even tried to adopt him but the boy decided he wanted to keep his name (long story). Anyway's - it just goes to show you ANYONE can be a father, but it takes a REAL MAN to be a daddy!!


Good luck with whatever you decide to do and know that we're here to listen!! ((HUGS))
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  #9  
April 24th, 2006, 09:12 AM
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Quote:
My advice is RUN RUN RUN as fast as possible away from this man err waste of space!!! All he has proven to be is a sperm donor. DO NOT put his name on the birth certificate. DO NOT call him when the baby is born. He wasn't there for you during your pregnancy, he certainly won't be there afterwards. I think even fighting him for child support would be useless. You and your baby deserve far better than what he's willing to offer. It will be hard on your own, but trust me - someone better than that scum bag is out there for you! Someone who will love you, care for you, and someone who will stand up and be a man![/b]
I totally agree!
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  #10  
April 27th, 2006, 06:21 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
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Posts: 14,873
If it were me, I would seriously think about going someplace else to have this baby and not put his name down on the birth cert. and find a new town to live in so he has no idea that you even had this baby!! Forget the child support, then he would have a chance to get visitation or whatever with the kid. STAY AWAY from him and find yourself a REAL man who will love, support, and respect both you and your child in a way that you both deserve!!!

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  #11  
April 28th, 2006, 07:24 AM
~Katie~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 15,110
If I were you....my opinion only! Do not put him on the birth cert. do not let him sign paternity papers...and forget about cs...cause if you go after that...he could get visitation. I would not worry about him...I would worry about you and that little baby and leave it at that. He sounds like trouble and not going to change any time soon...good luck and hugs to you girlie!!
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  #13  
April 29th, 2006, 06:27 PM
wclark602002's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TENNESSEE
Posts: 4,464
i wouldnt even get the child support papers! if he pays he gets visitation,and from the way he sounds he has no right to be around any child.i kow it doesnt sound good keeping baby from the daddy but it sounds safer.good luck
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  #15  
April 30th, 2006, 02:08 AM
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I agree with the gals. I had a loser for a father of my first son. He started out with pot and such and by the time I left him, 6 years later, he was snorting heroin on a daily basis and like to use me as his punching bag. He was on the birth certificate and when I went to a lawyer, she told me that I couldn't even leave state without his permission until we went to court. She advised me to marry him then take off, which I did 3 years later. I married him in November of 2002 and left him 3 months later. I had him arrested so that he couldn't file for divorce and drag me back to his state. I had to stay in my new state for 90 days to become a resident and file, once filed in my new state, there was nothing he could do to bring me back. I didn't ask for cs because lawyer said that gave him grounds for visitation. He was too stupid to start the proceedings himself. Get away from him now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do note even answer his calls. He will bring you pain...
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  #17  
April 30th, 2006, 08:47 PM
Natalies_Momma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: WI
Posts: 3,044
Run.


Take your losses and run. Do what's in your best interest and your unborn child's. It's one thing to mess up, but it's another to continue to drag yourself into HIS mess. Move on.
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  #18  
May 1st, 2006, 08:26 AM
irishxrose
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
My advice is RUN RUN RUN as fast as possible away from this man err waste of space!!! All he has proven to be is a sperm donor. DO NOT put his name on the birth certificate. DO NOT call him when the baby is born. He wasn't there for you during your pregnancy, he certainly won't be there afterwards. I think even fighting him for child support would be useless. You and your baby deserve far better than what he's willing to offer. It will be hard on your own, but trust me - someone better than that scum bag is out there for you! Someone who will love you, care for you, and someone who will stand up and be a man! I know they exsist... my brother is one of them. He met my sister-in-law when she was 36 weeks pg. They have been together for 17 years!! He has raised her first born as his own and even tried to adopt him but the boy decided he wanted to keep his name (long story). Anyway's - it just goes to show you ANYONE can be a father, but it takes a REAL MAN to be a daddy!!


Good luck with whatever you decide to do and know that we're here to listen!! ((HUGS))[/b]


My fiance's biological father left his mom when she was pregnant with him. He's in jail now and he has NEVER made any attempt to get to know my fiance. My fiance doesn't want anything to do with him. The man he considers his real dad married his mom when she was pregnant with him, and he's been there for him when even his mom wasn't! Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy - THIS IS SO TRUE!!

Leave him honey, and go after him via child support. This jerk doesn't want anything to do with you or your child, and all you need from him is money.
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