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Needdddd massive advice on situation with significant other regarding new pregnancy!


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  #1  
April 1st, 2010, 08:34 PM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 55
Ok to try to make a long story short, I was adopted by my biological mothers great aunt and uncle. I have known biol mom my whole life and know she is my biol mother. I did not know my biol dad, I went and found him on my own about 6 or 7 years ago. He does not really call me or do anything with me.. thats no problem because my dad who raised me means the world to me, I just wanted that closure in knowing who biol dad was.
Anyways, i love my biol dads family even though I am not really close with him.. my grandma cousins aunt and uncles grandpa.. all of them are wonderful, except biol dad.

Anywho, BEFORE pregnancy, significant other and I always discussed when we would have a family and stuff like that.. well he always said he didnt want our baby around that family..at holidays, birthdays, NOTHING. (see his dad was a POS and was not in his life and a complete-dad-failure).. so my signif other is holding his emotions regarding his father against my biol dad too.

So now, I am so so scared (now that I just found out I am pregnant) that he is never going to let me take our baby around my grandmother and the rest of the "loving" family... like I said he just holds that stigma over everyone since my biol father isnt too much there for me.

I just dont know what to do, I dont need this stress. Talking to him about it is like talking to a brickwall and I hate when we get in that conversation because it always gets so heated beause I dont see how it is fair to hold it against everyone, not just single my biol dad out. He even went to the point (before pregnancy) to say they were not allowed at our wedding whenever we get married nor hospital when I have a baby.. and now that I am in that situation.. I dont know what to do.

I feel like I need to talk to a preacher or something because I dont need this stress, I need him to talk to someone who can maybe reason with him..
Its just not fair to me to loose the relationship with the family I FOUND all because he has emotions from his past that shift to my life and family.

Urgh.
Advice?
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  #2  
April 2nd, 2010, 01:09 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,338
Do not let him keep him from your family at all. I realize this will probably cause issues within your relationship but he has to understand that especially when a child is involved family is the most important thing to have around. It is up to you to decide what is the best way to do things but if I were in your shoes I would not allow my s/o to come between me and my family. Your family will most likely always be there for you and if they're as a positive and loving as you say they are that is wonderful and you should never turn that away for your s/o. JMO. Hope you're able to work these things out and perhaps your s/o can come around sooner rather than later.
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  #3  
April 7th, 2010, 12:42 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,872
He cant keep your guys locked away from the world. He needs to work through his issues in counseling or with a minister.
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