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why why why why do ppl have to be soooooo sick????


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  #1  
August 25th, 2004, 06:45 PM
ranidae
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Ok I havent fully gotten into what happened with my family this summer but my BIL was arrested for molesting his three oldest children. It has been a awful time for the family. Well AT, the 10yr old was BIL's daughter and MB (11) and AB (9) were SIL's. AT's bio Mother decided after 6yrs of no contact (she dropped AT off with her parents 6yrs ago and ran off to join the carnival) came up here in June and took AT back. She told us all it was only for the summer, (it was AT's summer with her Grandparents) then called after she was in FL and said she wasnt bringing her back because we are all sick degenerates that should have known something was going on and that we are all responsible for what happened to the kids (not that we dont feel guilty enough for NOT seeing that something was happening.)

Well SIL has been getting harrassed by this woman since, being called up told she is a sick b*&^h etc. Well last night she calls up and tells SIL that she should feel ashamed because AT had a case of gonarhea(sp) so bad she almost had to be hospitalised. That she should have all her kids taken away because she is such a piss poor parent she because of not knowing. Well sorry lady but all three kids, plus the other niece, and my daughter have all had SANE exams including a STD check. If she had any kind of STD not only would the other two kids have come up positive but SIL would have also.
Then she tells SIL that we are all worthless pieces of crud because none of us have tried to contact AT, well the number we had was disconnected so how are we supposed to have called? Plus we were told we couldnt have any contact with her.

We are all heartbroken about losing AT but now we have to deal with this woman on top of everything else?
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  #2  
August 25th, 2004, 08:26 PM
Ma2RayPooh
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honestly i am all confused with your vent, lol kinda lost me. but either way, i hope things get better for you. it sounds like a stressful problem. good luck!
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  #3  
August 25th, 2004, 08:42 PM
ranidae
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sorry it was so confusing........mainly that AT's bio mom is trying to make things so much worse than they already are. Making AT call the DA and tell stories that didnt happen, saying thinks like the whole STD thing etc. It almost seems like she feels she has to one up all of us on how bad this whole situation was. She is refusing to put AT in counseling, says she can deal with everything herself (and honestly if you knew the person that would scare the heck out of you)
Telling us we are worthless and responsible for what happened to the kids..........then calling us bad names for not trying to get ahold of AT. I dont know I am soooo tired of all of it I cant wait to move but on the other hand I dont want to leave because the kids need me and Jon.

I reread the post and I guess if I hadnt told the whole story it would be hard to understand, maybe one of these days I can sit down and get all of it off my chest to you guys.........
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  #4  
August 25th, 2004, 10:44 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,663
That's so terrible. I think I understand what is going on from your post. I am so sorry for your family, and the little girl. Her mother is just making all of this harder on her. I hope things get better. In the mean time, your family will be in my prayers.
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  #5  
August 26th, 2004, 03:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Norhern California
Posts: 2,592
That sounds like an awful situation. Hugs to you and your family!
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  #6  
August 26th, 2004, 04:31 AM
zonapellucida
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HUGS RANI!!!!! I can't believe sh is adding more problems to what is already a charged situation. She may be angry wiht herself and wants to take ito out on SIL or she may just be a b**ch. It sounds like the later. I wouldn't take her calls.
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  #7  
August 26th, 2004, 05:58 AM
I Heart 4x4
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The whole situation sucks ... **hugs**
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  #8  
August 26th, 2004, 10:02 AM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,422
Quote:
Originally posted by ranidae@Aug 25 2004, 07:45 PM
Ok I havent fully gotten into what happened with my family this summer but my BIL was arrested for molesting his three oldest children. It has been a awful time for the family. Well AT, the 10yr old was BIL's daughter and MB (11) and AB (9) were SIL's. AT's bio Mother decided after 6yrs of no contact (she dropped AT off with her parents 6yrs ago and ran off to join the carnival) came up here in June and took AT back. She told us all it was only for the summer, (it was AT's summer with her Grandparents) then called after she was in FL and said she wasnt bringing her back because we are all sick degenerates that should have known something was going on and that we are all responsible for what happened to the kids (not that we dont feel guilty enough for NOT seeing that something was happening.)

Well SIL has been getting harrassed by this woman since, being called up told she is a sick b*&^h etc. Well last night she calls up and tells SIL that she should feel ashamed because AT had a case of gonarhea(sp) so bad she almost had to be hospitalised. That she should have all her kids taken away because she is such a piss poor parent she because of not knowing. Well sorry lady but all three kids, plus the other niece, and my daughter have all had SANE exams including a STD check. If she had any kind of STD not only would the other two kids have come up positive but SIL would have also.
Then she tells SIL that we are all worthless pieces of crud because none of us have tried to contact AT, well the number we had was disconnected so how are we supposed to have called? Plus we were told we couldnt have any contact with her.

We are all heartbroken about losing AT but now we have to deal with this woman on top of everything else?
Wow, what an ordeal!!

But I have to say, If my dd had been molested, I would be an insance, phycotic maniac too! I would harrass anyone I could b/c I would be waaaaay out in left field, I can't even imagine what that must be like...how horrible for EVERYONE involved. To molest your own kids....that is just sick. I would probably kill the guy, so at least she isn't totally insane yet or you would be dealing with a homicide as well as harrassment.

Gosh, I wish you all the strength in the world to get through this...just awful!
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  #9  
August 26th, 2004, 06:47 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
(((((HUGS))))) I know that you are all going through a very hard time right now. I used to be the one who investigated, interviewed, and assisted in the medical examinations of kids who had been molested, or physically abused. Let me to tell you, there are some real sickos out there!! Anyone who does these things to kids are such pieces of worthless trash!!! I hated seeing what these people did to kids and it was even worse when you seen a parent do the things that AT's mom is doing!! The grandparents might want to think about trying to get custody of her, based on the fact that the mother had abandoned her, and now the child has STD's which there is no possible way that she got from this case. Which means that someone else has done something to this poor kid!! When a kid has been molested repeatedly, there is a good chance that the child will act out of others when they have not had any counseling or support from parents or other family members. SIL should consider having her number changed, she does not need that crap and I am sure AT is old enough that she can contact another family member if she needs to.

If you need to talk, feel free to PM or IM me.
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  #10  
August 27th, 2004, 01:14 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: New Brunswick Canada
Posts: 1,719
Quote:
Originally posted by ranidae@Aug 25 2004, 07:45 PM
Ok I havent fully gotten into what happened with my family this summer but my BIL was arrested for molesting his three oldest children. It has been a awful time for the family. Well AT, the 10yr old was BIL's daughter and MB (11) and AB (9) were SIL's. AT's bio Mother decided after 6yrs of no contact (she dropped AT off with her parents 6yrs ago and ran off to join the carnival) came up here in June and took AT back. She told us all it was only for the summer, (it was AT's summer with her Grandparents) then called after she was in FL and said she wasnt bringing her back because we are all sick degenerates that should have known something was going on and that we are all responsible for what happened to the kids (not that we dont feel guilty enough for NOT seeing that something was happening.)

Well SIL has been getting harrassed by this woman since, being called up told she is a sick b*&^h etc. Well last night she calls up and tells SIL that she should feel ashamed because AT had a case of gonarhea(sp) so bad she almost had to be hospitalised. That she should have all her kids taken away because she is such a piss poor parent she because of not knowing. Well sorry lady but all three kids, plus the other niece, and my daughter have all had SANE exams including a STD check. If she had any kind of STD not only would the other two kids have come up positive but SIL would have also.
Then she tells SIL that we are all worthless pieces of crud because none of us have tried to contact AT, well the number we had was disconnected so how are we supposed to have called? Plus we were told we couldnt have any contact with her.

We are all heartbroken about losing AT but now we have to deal with this woman on top of everything else?
You know there is no easy way out, I guess I can see why that women is behaving so irrational, imagine what she must be feeling as she abandoned her child and her child ends up being molested, imagine the amount of guild she must be feeling, she is trying to focus placing the blame elsewhere to make it less hard on herself. I'm sure that your sil is also experiencing alot of guilt and this is just making it harder on her.


Guilt over molestation in a family can be so great that some mothers will side with there husbands and believe them over there children just because that can't stand the thought that it went on right under there noses. You would be surprised to hear how common this type of reaction is. (I wrote this only to show how reactions to guilt can be very extreme in ways that we can't imagine)

I hope that your sil and her family have all the support they need, and good luck to you as this is not an easy road for any family to go down.
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